*In the Secret Monsters’ Clubhouse, a deep subterranean cavern where monsters the world over can go via a network of tunnels connecting all corners of the earth, the monsters play poker and toss back a few drinks*
Nessie- “And I said “Rectum? I nearly f***in’ killed him!”
Yeti- “Ha! That’s a good one.”
Tatzelwurm- “HA! Zis is an innuendo! Ze basis of all British humour! Zis is most amusing.”
Dobhar Chu- “Any of you lads any ideas about when the Minotaur is gettin’ here? I says to him, “Get your arse to poker on Friday” so I said. And for sure he’s not here.”
Yeti- “You try and find your way out of a Labyrinth and see if you’re on time.”
Bigfoot- “Yeah, can’t be easy for the guy.”
*Werewolf runs in*
Werewolf- “You guys, it’s all over the internet! Some woman bitched about Bigfoot to the authorities!”
Dobar Chu- “Faith and begora lad, have you been running around in the nip again? No wonder the woman’s been complaining when she’s seen your big feckin’ arse!”
Nessie- “Aye buy a loincloth or something.”
Werewolf- “No, you don’t get it. The authorities she complained to were the MOUNTIES! They’re out looking for him!”
Yowie- “Streuth mate! Mounties?”
Nessie- “Oh you are SO f***ed.”
Yowie- “Less chance than a shrimp on a barbie, mate.”
Dobhar Chu- “Aye, ‘tis a sin so it is. The Mounties, they’ll be like a Dubliner after a drink so they will.”
Bigfoot- “Will not!”
Tatzelwurm- “I am of ze thinking zat you are as screwed as ze prostitute in ze brothel.”
Yeti- “Yeah, you still need to work on getting the sexual innuendo right but nice try.”
Nessie- “Look what happened to the Jackalope! He riled up the Mounties and look what happened to him. Now all that’s left of that poor bugger is novelty postacards.”
