Student Jokes
Posted: 06 November 2005 09:23 PM   [ Ignore ]
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The Following Are Answers to 5th Grade Science Exams:
When you breath, you inspire. When you do not breath, you expire.

H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water.

To collect fumes of sulphur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube.

When you smell an odorless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide.

Nitrogen is not found in Ireland because it is not found in a free state.

Water is composed of 2 gins, Oxygin & Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water.

Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and caterpillers.

Blood flows down one leg and up the other.

Respiration is composed of 2 acts, first inspiration, and then expectoration.

The moon is a planet just like earth, only it is even deader.

Artifical insemination is when the farmer does it to the cow instead of the bull.

Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire.

A super-saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold.

Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas.

The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects.

The alimentary canal is located in the northern part of Indiana.

The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been taken out and the outsides have been taken off.

The purpose of the skeleton is something to hitch meat to.

A permanent set of teeth consists of 8 canines, 8 cuspids, 2 molars, & 8 cuspidors.

The tides are a fight between the Earth and Moon. All water tends towards the moon, because there is no water in the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight.

A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more extinct it is.

Many women belive that an alcoholic binge will have no ill effects on the unborn fetus, but that is a large misconception.

Equator: A managerie lion running around the Earth through Africa.

Germinate: To become a naturalized German.

Liter: A nest of young puppies.

Magnet: Something you find crawling all over a dead cat.

Momentum: What you give a person when they are going away.

Planet: A body of Earth surrounded by sky.

Rhubarb: A kind of celery gone bloodshot.

Vacuum: A large, empty space where the pope lives.

Before giving a blood transfusion, find out if the blood is affirmative or negative.

For a nosebleed: Put the nose much lower then the body until the heart stops.

For dog bite: Put the dog away for sevral days. If he has not recovered, then kill it.

For asphyxiation: Apply artificial respiration until the patient is dead.

To prevent contraception: wear a condominium.

For head cold: Use an agonizer to spray the nose until it drops in your throat.

To keep milk from turning sour: Keep it in the cow.

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Posted: 07 November 2005 12:11 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 1 ]
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LOL Are students really this dumb?

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Remember, a Dragon is for life!

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Posted: 07 November 2005 02:30 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 2 ]
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Great LOL

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Smerk the cutest dragon
Lived by the sea
And frolicked in the autumn mist
In Western Australi

Little Accipiter loved that girl enough
He told her jokes and crazy facts
And other forum stuff

Smerk the cutest dragon:
Traveled cross the sea,
To hunt her prey in foriegn lands,
And snuggle with Acci!

Smerk the cutest dragon
Is getting married now they say
Though little Accipiter
Has yet to name the day.

http://www.veshearman.com/

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Posted: 07 November 2005 06:49 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 3 ]
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They are only ten! Give them a break!

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The Middleman: (drinking milk) You know, that was some darn fine cow squirt.

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Posted: 07 November 2005 09:54 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 4 ]
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“Magellan circumsized the world with a hundred-foot clipper.”

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Soldier: This is the worst part. The calm before the battle.
Fry: And then the battle is not so bad?
Soldier: Oh, right. I forgot about the battle.

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Posted: 07 November 2005 10:26 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 5 ]
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Joan of Arc was condomed to death.

One change in boys at puberty is that their vice deepens.

Birds can sit on a high voltage cables without getting a shock because their feet are coated with rubber.

The difference between the North and the South is that they are totally different.

Man is only a nackered ape.

One way in which radioactive materials can be useful to human beings is in making atomic bombs.

The sickle on the Russian flag stands for chopping people’s heads off.

An animal with a backbone is called a vibrator.

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Posted: 07 November 2005 03:40 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 6 ]
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Those are great…..

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Posted: 08 November 2005 07:22 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 7 ]
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And remember, primates all have disposable thumbs.

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“If any man wish to write in a clear style, let him be first clear in his thoughts.”

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Posted: 08 November 2005 11:08 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 8 ]
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LOL I liked those, I know some 16 year olds that have used answers like these… sigh…

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If you can’t handle someone at their worst,

You don’t deserve them at their best.

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Posted: 06 December 2005 09:37 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 9 ]
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well what is this world coming to if the kids can not be able to answers like this totally wrong.  Maybe they need to be like my school not electronics on campus.  then they can learn.
wink

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