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Things Women Say When Stressed at Work
Posted: 06 October 2005 11:43 PM   [ Ignore ]
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Another list!  I don’t think I’ve ever used any of the following.

1. Okay, okay! I take it back. Unf**k you.
2. You say I’m a bitch like it’s a bad thing.
3. Well, this day was a total waste of make-up.
4. Well, aren’t we a damn ray of sunshine?
5. Don’t bother me, I’m living happily ever after.
6. Do I look like a people person?
7. This isn’t an office. It’s hell with fluorescent lighting.
8. I started out with nothing and still have most of it left.
9. Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap. You choose.
10. Why don’t you try practicing random acts of intelligence and senseless acts of self-control?
11. I’m not crazy. I’ve been in a very bad mood for 30 years.
12. Sarcasm is just one more service I offer.
13. Do they ever shut up on your planet?
14. I’m not your type. I’m not inflatable.
15. Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven’t gone to sleep yet.
16. Back off!! You’re standing in my aura.
17. Don’t worry. I forgot your name too.
18. I work 45 hours a week to be this poor.
19. Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.
20. Wait…I’m trying to imagine you with a personality.
21. Chaos, panic and disorder ... my work here is done.
22. Ambivalent? Well, yes and no.
23. You look like shit. Is that the style now?
24. Earth is full. Go home.
25. Aw, did I step on your poor little bitty ego?
26. I’m not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.
27. A hard-on doesn’t count as personal growth.
28. You are depriving some village of an idiot.
29. If assholes could fly, this place would be an airport.

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Posted: 07 October 2005 07:08 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 1 ]
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Me neither Smerk!

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“Do you realise the sun doesnt go down, its just an illusion caused by the world spinning round”

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Posted: 07 October 2005 07:55 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 2 ]
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Begone, sexist!

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Soldier: This is the worst part. The calm before the battle.
Fry: And then the battle is not so bad?
Soldier: Oh, right. I forgot about the battle.

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Posted: 07 October 2005 08:20 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 3 ]
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But don’t be gone too far away or too long, Smerk.  We might miss you otherwise.

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“If any man wish to write in a clear style, let him be first clear in his thoughts.”

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Posted: 07 October 2005 08:42 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 4 ]
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Accipiter - 08 October 2005 12:20 AM

But don’t be gone too far away or too long, Smerk.  We might miss you otherwise.

Don’t worry, our sensitivity training video is only 25 minutes long.

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Soldier: This is the worst part. The calm before the battle.
Fry: And then the battle is not so bad?
Soldier: Oh, right. I forgot about the battle.

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Posted: 07 October 2005 10:47 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 5 ]
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Citizen Premier - 07 October 2005 11:55 PM

Begone, sexist!

I’m puzzled.  Why am I a sexist?

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Posted: 08 October 2005 05:54 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 6 ]
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Smerk - 08 October 2005 02:47 AM
Citizen Premier - 07 October 2005 11:55 PM

Begone, sexist!

I’m puzzled.  Why am I a sexist?

You aren’t really.  Butl, the humor is midly sexist.  Nevermind!

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Soldier: This is the worst part. The calm before the battle.
Fry: And then the battle is not so bad?
Soldier: Oh, right. I forgot about the battle.

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Posted: 08 October 2005 09:46 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 7 ]
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Maybe when he wrote “sexist”, he accidentally left out the e that was supposed to go after the i?

Anyway, I’ve seen lists rather similar to the above prominently displayed on many receptionists’ and secretaries’ desks, some with a few other additions.  Unfortunately, I can’t recall any of the other ones at the moment.

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Posted: 09 October 2005 10:23 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 8 ]
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woo hoo I’ve said two!

“Sarcasm is just one more service I offer.” - I said this on prefect duty last night when I was selling programs. Stolen from here of course!

and something along the lines of

“I

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If you can’t handle someone at their worst,

You don’t deserve them at their best.

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Posted: 09 October 2005 11:18 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 9 ]
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Citizen Premier - 08 October 2005 12:42 AM
Accipiter - 08 October 2005 12:20 AM

But don’t be gone too far away or too long, Smerk.  We might miss you otherwise.

Don’t worry, our sensitivity training video is only 25 minutes long.

Haha! I thought I was the only person who watched that show!

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Posted: 09 October 2005 08:21 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 10 ]
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LOL Thunder!  While I might get sarcastic myself on occasions, I don’t think I’d ever go so far…I’m too nice!

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Posted: 10 October 2005 01:40 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 11 ]
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lol, I’m usually too nice for my own good unless I’m in a real bad mood which happens like once a month, except this month, I’ve been in a bad mood all week because of the show, friends stuff and no-ones called me back for a job interview yet. I’m really surprised no-one wants a 16 year old girl with no previous experience. really.

also

and something along the lines of

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If you can’t handle someone at their worst,

You don’t deserve them at their best.

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