Another list!  I don’t think I’ve ever used any of the following.

1. Okay, okay! I take it back. Unf**k you.
2. You say I’m a bitch like it’s a bad thing.
3. Well, this day was a total waste of make-up.
4. Well, aren’t we a damn ray of sunshine?
5. Don’t bother me, I’m living happily ever after.
6. Do I look like a people person?
7. This isn’t an office. It’s hell with fluorescent lighting.
8. I started out with nothing and still have most of it left.
9. Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap. You choose.
10. Why don’t you try practicing random acts of intelligence and senseless acts of self-control?
11. I’m not crazy. I’ve been in a very bad mood for 30 years.
12. Sarcasm is just one more service I offer.
13. Do they ever shut up on your planet?
14. I’m not your type. I’m not inflatable.
15. Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven’t gone to sleep yet.
16. Back off!! You’re standing in my aura.
17. Don’t worry. I forgot your name too.
18. I work 45 hours a week to be this poor.
19. Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.
20. Wait…I’m trying to imagine you with a personality.
21. Chaos, panic and disorder ... my work here is done.
22. Ambivalent? Well, yes and no.
23. You look like shit. Is that the style now?
24. Earth is full. Go home.
25. Aw, did I step on your poor little bitty ego?
26. I’m not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.
27. A hard-on doesn’t count as personal growth.
28. You are depriving some village of an idiot.
29. If assholes could fly, this place would be an airport.

Me neither Smerk!

Begone, sexist!

But don’t be gone too far away or too long, Smerk.  We might miss you otherwise.

Accipiter - 07 October 2005 11:20 PM

But don’t be gone too far away or too long, Smerk.  We might miss you otherwise.

Don’t worry, our sensitivity training video is only 25 minutes long.

Citizen Premier - 07 October 2005 10:55 PM

Begone, sexist!

I’m puzzled.  Why am I a sexist?

Smerk - 08 October 2005 01:47 AM

Citizen Premier - 07 October 2005 10:55 PM

Begone, sexist!

I’m puzzled.  Why am I a sexist?

You aren’t really.  Butl, the humor is midly sexist.  Nevermind!

Maybe when he wrote “sexist”, he accidentally left out the e that was supposed to go after the i?

Anyway, I’ve seen lists rather similar to the above prominently displayed on many receptionists’ and secretaries’ desks, some with a few other additions.  Unfortunately, I can’t recall any of the other ones at the moment.

woo hoo I’ve said two!

“Sarcasm is just one more service I offer.” - I said this on prefect duty last night when I was selling programs. Stolen from here of course!

and something along the lines of

“I

Citizen Premier - 07 October 2005 11:42 PM

Accipiter - 07 October 2005 11:20 PM

But don’t be gone too far away or too long, Smerk.  We might miss you otherwise.

Don’t worry, our sensitivity training video is only 25 minutes long.

Haha! I thought I was the only person who watched that show!

Thunder!  While I might get sarcastic myself on occasions, I don’t think I’d ever go so far…I’m too nice!

lol, I’m usually too nice for my own good unless I’m in a real bad mood which happens like once a month, except this month, I’ve been in a bad mood all week because of the show, friends stuff and no-ones called me back for a job interview yet. I’m really surprised no-one wants a 16 year old girl with no previous experience. really.

also

and something along the lines of