KATE MOSS DUMPED BY THE IRA
The newly decommissioned IRA has decided to not only end its armed struggle, but to its association with Kate Moss. In a press conference yesterday Gerry Adams declared that they would not be using her services for their new ad campaign: “The IRA and you. Together.”
The proposed television campaign had consisted of the semi-clad Moss draped over a chaise-longue, placing armalite after armalite into a recycling bin. The slogan was to read “Moss always faces North”.
The model’s image was again tarnished last week when photographs were published in the Mirror apparently showing her taking cocaine at the studio where Babyshambles were recording their album. Radio 1 quotes a spokesperson as saying: “The IRA is strongly against drugs and for many years has actively supported the drug preventing organisation Mentor Foundation.
“After having evaluated the situation, the IRA has decided that a campaign with Kate Moss is inconsistent with the IRA’s clear dissociation of drugs.”
Other paramilitary groups have decided to distance themselves from the model also, including the Tamil Tigers and ironically, the extreme right Colombian narco-terrorists, the AUC.
“As much as it pains me,” said AUC leader Carlos Casta