Today’s Astronomy Picture of the Day features a new 3D rendering of the famous Mars Face. Unfortunately for conspiracy enthusiasts it doesn’t look anything like a face when seen in high resolution and normal lighting.

Of course this could just be because NASA altered the image to hide the truth from everyone. After all, hard evidence of other life in the universe would be the greatest discovery in the history of man and we wouldn’t want anybody to know about it would we? The smart thing to do would be to just keep it a secret forever.

3D Mars Face

Actually, NASA secretly programmed the Mars rovers to systematically crawl over one side of the face and drill into it until all tell-tale artificial structure was destroyed. That way they don’t have to keep buying off foreign space agencies who send probes in the future.

This is not half as scandalous as NASA’s 50 year long project to hide the fact that Venus is covered in oceans!

Yup, way back in the fifties, everyone knew this. Asimov wrote books about it, imagining Venus as watery sister-world to Earth. This, of course, was the truth! It’s only the avarice and duplicity of successive generations of power-hungry politicians (all taken from the secret Rich and Powerful Elite that really run things) that have sought to disguise that fact. Aware that a whole second world of balmy, ocean paradises would undermine their hold on the poor and downtrodden.

It’s sad that hardly anyone believes in the face anymore.  This is something I grew up with, but now they’ve all moved on to newer, grander conspiracies.  I guess it’s no use reminiscing about the good old days, though.

Yeah Charyb, I remember the days we grew up believing the earth was flat and the sun revolved around it… 

Oh NASA, when will you learn? What they don’t realise is that what they actually rendered was a very small part of the much lesser-known Teenage Acne Outbreak on the forehead of the Face on Mars. Simple mistake.

Acne!  Thats it!  It destroyed life on Mars, then the Dinosaurs! 

It is so obvious, now.

Actually, if a dying race wanted to leave a sign or marker, (would a dying race waste its precious time and remaining resources doing such a non-productive project?), anyway, if you were going to create a sculpture for future observers to find and ponder, wouldn’t you put it where the surface is much smoother, and not crowded with other similar sized rocks?  It would stand out much better, and be much more likely to be noticed.

And also, NASA is a money-driven bureacracy, it exists primarily to maintain itself (as do all bureacracies, as in GM, etc), so if there was indeed some sort of genuine evidence of life outside Earth, they would pump it and milk it for all they could get out of it.

To rephrase the Beatle’s song:  “Here comes the Fund King.”

Their budget would triple!  At least!  A mission would be put together, and even now Astronauts would be combing the area looking for clues and information of the dying race and technology we could learn from and perhaps a recipe for non-fattening fudge-walnut brownies that grow six-pack abs in men and firm proud breasts in women, while shrinking their bottoms to size six.

Dan, always putting a damper on everything

But Dan!  What about cute young women with size 4 butts? 

Dan Jr. - 27 September 2006 02:02 AM

Actually, if a dying race wanted to leave a sign or marker, (would a dying race waste its precious time and remaining resources doing such a non-productive project?), anyway, if you were going to create a sculpture for future observers to find and ponder, wouldn’t you put it where the surface is much smoother, and not crowded with other similar sized rocks?  It would stand out much better, and be much more likely to be noticed.

Who said the race was dying when it was built?  Things like the Sphinx and Great Pyramid still survive today.  If life had died out sometime after the Egyptians and a race sent a probe to Earth and saw the Great Pyramid in photo images, what would they think?

And the Great Pyramid is a good example of something built out in the open, so to speak, so it stands out.  But here’s another example of something done in similar terrain:

What would that probe think if it saw Mount Rushmore?  That was built on a mountain in similar surrounding terrain.  Why wasn’t it built somewhere to be more obvious as a signal?  Well, because the mountain was there and suited the purpose (which wasn’t as a signal).  And it wouldn’t have made sense to build it “from scratch” from the ground up somewhere where it would stand out more.

Who knows?  If it really is supposed to be a face on Mars (I don’t believe that, but I’m playing Devil’s advocate here), who says the race that built it did so for any purpose we can fathom?  maybe it was just done to be done.  Maybe it was built (carved) as a tribute to a great leader?  Maybe even as a tomb, like the Great Pyramid.  Maybe the purpose of it was to be seen from high up, possibly from orbiting ships.  Maybe it was the same race that helped the Egyptians build the Sphinx and the Great Pyramid.

And, of course, it was built so long ago that the weather of Mars (plus all the ships that took off and landed right over - not to mentioned hovered over it) has almost completely eroded it away!

Korian - 27 September 2006 02:47 AM

But Dan!  What about cute young women with size 4 butts? 

Then you bring that cute size 4 butt over here to visit me, dammit!

And we’re talking about the face of Mars, thanks…

What an absolutely infectious line of thought, Tah!  Purposes and irony…
What if the mountain were sculpted to be the Hand/Foot/Ear of God?  A few centuries of crawling worshippers wear away at the image…  No Earthling knows what a Martian’s vision of God or even hands/feet/ears would be like…  By the time it all adds up, NASA has to keep the idea quiet in the mainstream media to prevent blasphemous media transmissions from reaching Mars and starting the first interplanetary religious war.

(I’m sorry about the size joke, Boo.  Dan’s super-brownies made me laugh, especially with the fashion/health news fresh in my mind, and I didn’t wait to stop laughing and start thinking before I typed and deepened the diversion.)

Good logic in your post, Tah!

Everything you said is plausible, but I suppose I got the idea that the Cedonia (?) face is from a dying race is because someone else said it first, and that Mars is indeed a planet that has lost most of its water, and at least so far shows no evidence of present life (or previous life, for that matter, but I would not be too surprised if indeed genuine evidence of same is found, even if only of plant life and lower forms, like insects or micro-organisms).

And yes, the rock would certainly weather, but in that very thin atmosphere, with no rainfall, it would not weather very fast.  But on the other hand, a few million years could put on lots of wrinkles!

Still, if NASA truly thought it could be a deliberately carved monument, they would shout it from rooftops!  (Hi, Bebe!  Wink!)

It means funding!  And, as we all know, God wants NASA to be wealthy.  (Uhh, see another thread for an explanation of that one…....sorry!)

Dan, who actually thought at one time it could very well be real (the face), and thinks it would be way-cool if it truly was.