Beware the virus named Friday the 13th!

It will recalibrate your refrigerator’s coolness setting so all your ice cream goes melty.

It will demagnetize the strips on all your credit cards, screw up the tracking on your television and use subspace field harmonics to scratch any CDs you try to play.

It will give your ex-girlfriend your new phone number.

It will mix Kool-aid into your fishtank.

It will drink all your beer and leave dirty socks on the coffee table when company comes over.

It will put a dead aardvark in the back pocket of your good suit pants and hide your car keys when you are late for work

Friday 13th Virus will make you fall in love with a penguin.

It will give you nightmares about circus midgets.

It will pour sugar in your gas tank and shave off both your eyebrows while dating your girlfriend behind your back and billing the dinner and hotel room to your Discover card.

It moves your car randomly around parking lots so you can’t find it.

It will leave libidinous messages on your boss’s voice mail in your voice!

It is insidious and subtle. It is dangerous and terrifying to behold. It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve.

LASHLY - 13 February 2009 11:08 AM

Friday 13th Virus will make you fall in love with a penguin.

Too late…..

Just stumbled on this topic and thought I’d share a few:

At Intermediate school we had a few teachers who had names that fitted quite well with their professions:
Music Teacher - Mr. Blow (always imagined him being equipped with a horn…)
Woodwork Teacher - Mr. Peatree
And best of all, Head of the Choir - Ms. Screech.

Didn’t stop when I got to High School either:
Cooking Teacher - Mrs. Jelly

And my French Teacher had a regular name, Mr. Ducker (well, regualr in that it doesn’t seem to have much to do with French class), but his initials were B.A.D. He once commented to us in class that his father was a practical joker, hence why his sisters’ initials were S.A.D and M.A.D…

Goofycabal - 26 February 2009 01:37 AM

And my French Teacher had a regular name, Mr. Ducker (well, regualr in that it doesn’t seem to have much to do with French class), but his initials were B.A.D. He once commented to us in class that his father was a practical joker, hence why his sisters’ initials were S.A.D and M.A.D…

Was his father a C.A.D.?

Accipiter - 26 February 2009 01:40 AM

Goofycabal - 26 February 2009 01:37 AM

And my French Teacher had a regular name, Mr. Ducker (well, regualr in that it doesn’t seem to have much to do with French class), but his initials were B.A.D. He once commented to us in class that his father was a practical joker, hence why his sisters’ initials were S.A.D and M.A.D…

Was his father a C.A.D.?

Sounds like a C.A.D. of the highest water.

If I knew his name I could ask him about it at the next International Brotherhood of Utter Bounders meeting.

Accipiter - 26 February 2009 01:40 AM

Goofycabal - 26 February 2009 01:37 AM

And my French Teacher had a regular name, Mr. Ducker (well, regualr in that it doesn’t seem to have much to do with French class), but his initials were B.A.D. He once commented to us in class that his father was a practical joker, hence why his sisters’ initials were S.A.D and M.A.D…

Was his father a C.A.D.?

Quite likely

Just remembered a few other ones:
Police Sergent they were interviewing a few months back on TV was Sergent Killwell (I think… Something very similar anyway) and a friend of mine knew someone whose surname was Christmas who intentionally joined the local Church so people would have to call him Father Christmas!

The character “Pussy Galore” from the movie Goldfinger was played by an actress with an even sillier name: Honor Blackman.

Through work, I met a lady with the last name “Certain.”  And of course I immediately thought of at least one punnish conversation with her:

Random person: “Are you certain?”
Her: “Of course I am!”

Yeah, that could be funnier, but mostly in my head, and it doesn’t seem to translate well to the screen.

Are you certain?
Yes.
So you really want a wet willie?
No.
Are you certain?
Yes.
I don’t know..
Third base!!

eovti - 26 February 2009 08:02 AM

The character “Pussy Galore” from the movie Goldfinger was played by an actress with an even sillier name: Honor Blackman.

That’s not really a silly name.

Renquist - 28 February 2009 06:58 PM

eovti - 26 February 2009 08:02 AM

The character “Pussy Galore” from the movie Goldfinger was played by an actress with an even sillier name: Honor Blackman.

That’s not really a silly name.

It is if you accidentally drop the “L”....