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Woohoo! I won a million Euros!
Posted: 20 February 2007 01:38 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 56 ]
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Well, all they offer me (despite my having filled in the questionnaire) are posts that have nothing to do with my qualifications and experience.
Plus, I said I wasn’t willing to travel, and they only offer me things in the USA.

I can’t say for sure that that’s where the scammers got my address, but I have a secondary email which I use to sign up to anything that seems dodgy, and it only took two days after I joined there to start receiving the scam emails.

Sadly, only about half of them get directed to my junk mail.

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Posted: 20 February 2007 01:41 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 57 ]
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This is the only bit of money-related spam I’ve ever had…

Attn:  Your Humble Goodself.

RE: OFFER FROM THE VATICAN CHURCH, VATICAN CITY.

Greetings to you from the office of the Holy Father of the Vatican Church,
Vatican City, Rome Italy.

We are writing this letter to you today as a Holy offer/opportunity to work
for the Vatican Church, Vatican City Rome Italy, as our only official secret
distributor of charity funds to our several registered charity organizations
around this global earth with topmost secrecy.

In August 9 1903 when Giuseppe Sarto assumed office as the second pope of
the Vatican Church Vatican city as Pope Pius PP. X, he included a new
amendment to the constitution of the Vatican Church, which relates that as a
result of the continuous rising several cases of corruption and mis-use of
the funds allocated by the Vatican Church to charity organizations, via the
power of the Cardinals of the Vatican Church, the appointment of the
official distributor of funds allocated by the Vatican Church for
distribution to registered charity organizations, MUST be secretly issued to
a non Vatican Church individual/personnel, who must be unknown by all living
person’s except the office of the Holy Father and the official holy
Treasurer of the Vatican Church, in-order to curb and eliminate the
continuous rising several cases of corruption and mis-use of the charity
funds, since without the knowledge of the official distributor by any other
personnel of the Vatican Church except from the office of the Holy Father
and the official holy treasurer of the Vatican Church, the corruption cases
would be brought to an immediate halt, and this new measure worked perfectly
well from that time till this current time frame.

In the Addendum of this new amendment contained in the constitution of the
Vatican Church, it is also clearly stated that every new Pope assuming
office in the Vatican Church, must select a new official secret distributor
for his regime, and upon his death, his selected official secret distributor
must immediately have his/her post terminated, with the replacement of a new
official secret distributor, secretly chosen by the new governing Pope only.

And with the passing away of our previous Pope, Ioannes Paulus PP. II Karol
Wojtyla as Pope John Paul II on April the 2nd of 2005, and with the recent
appointment of I Joseph Ratzinger as Pope Benedictus XVI on April the 19th
of 2005, the previous secret distributor in Pope John Paul II time has been
relieved of his position, and as a result a new secret distributor is
immediately required without delay to serve till my regime is over via
death.

In the light of the above related sentences, you have been nominated by this
Holy office of the Holy Father of the Vatican Church Vatican City, to be our
secret distributor of charity funds to our several registered charity
organizations around this global earth SECRETLY with topmost secrecy, in
which you would be continually paid a commission of 10% only, of every total
amount of funds released to your goodself every four (4) months by the
reputable funds organization the Vatican Church holds its charity funds in,
for immediate distribution to our several registered charity organizations
around the world, as charity funds from the Vatican Church Vatican City.

In-order to pre-qualify for this secret official Holy post in the Vatican
Church, you must satisfy our basic requirements below;

1. You must be a honest, straightforward and God fearing individual.
2 You must be an aristocrat or an influential rich individual with a
designated bank account in a reputable Bank, which can completely and always
accommodate the released charity funds to your goodself, without the need of
questioning by relevant authorities.
3. You must be 100% fully ready and oblige to keep your post as our only
official secret distributor of charity funds as Topmost secret, and guide
this secret post in the Vatican Church Vatican City with your life.
4. You must not for any reason perform as not required by the office of the
Holy Father i.e embezzlement and mis-use of charity funds.
5. You must at all time adhere fully and promptly to the instructions
furnished your goodself by the office of the Holy Father of the Vatican
Church.

Please kindly note that, Age, Sex, Religion, and Nationality, does not in
any way affect your qualification eligibility, so if your humble goodself is
confident and eligible for this secret holy post in the Vatican church,
please kindly respond immediately to this electronic message by sending your
personal response to our direct secret email address at
( ) from your private/personal
email address without delay, and we shall guide you through the mandatory
required steps to attain the secret holy post.

Thank you for your time as we expect your goodself to keep this electronic
contact as topmost secret, in-order to protect the interest of the Vatican
Church, Vatican City, Rome Italy, while we await your personal response from
your personal email address to our secret email address.

Remain blessed and best regard’s from the office of the Holy Father of the
Vatican Church and please take time out to visit our official website at
(http://www.vaticanchurch-vat.org) and to view our profile please kindly visit
(http://www.vaticanchurch-vat.org/holy_father/benedict_xvi/index.htm)

God Bless you.

Office of the Vatican Church,
Pope Benedictus XVI
Joseph Ratzinger
Pope,
Vatican Church,
Vatican City.
Rome, Italy.
Website address: http://www.vaticanchurch-vat.org

I could have been the Pope’s secret charitable distributor! LOL

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Posted: 20 February 2007 02:10 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 58 ]
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Hmm, I always check my junk mail and dont even get any in there (only emails off my teachers, weirdly).
But yeah, I guess it probably is monster then

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Posted: 21 February 2007 01:44 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 59 ]
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LOL Mouse, your spam is so cool!

I have no idea why I keep getting these spam/scams.  I probably have signed up for something somewhere, and all the scammers got my email address.  Fortunately, the majority of the less fun ones go straight to my junk mail folder.

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Posted: 21 February 2007 07:41 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 60 ]
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I agree Smerk… Mouse had some prime spam
*drools*
LOL

Smerk - 09 February 2007 09:08 PM

Now, someone’s appealing to my dragony nature…25% share of $9 million worth of gemstones…

Wow… sparkly spam
*stares bedazzledly*

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Posted: 21 February 2007 10:15 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 61 ]
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The Incredible Hulk has been getting scam emails too

Hello Hulk got this email and Hulk is wondering if he should help because Hulk needs some money and if Hulk had some money maybe Hulk wouldn’t have to go look at the stupid jobs section of the New York Post and Daily Bugle. No, Hulk does not want to work construction, thank you for asking. Hulk does not like to say things to girls that walk by and Hulk can’t whistle very well.

 

WITH DUE RESPACT DEAR FRIEND,MY TEL NUMBER 00226 78 02 43 42

IT IS MY WISH TO SOLICITE YOUR ASSISTANCE IN A BUSSINESSS TRANSACTION THAT WILL BE OF BENEFIT TO YOU AND I.

I CAME ACROSS SUM OF MONEY BELONGING TO A DECEASED CUSTOMER OF THE BANK, BANK OF AFRICA, ALHAJI DAHIRU J MUSA, A CITIZEN OFABIDJAN COTE’D'IVOIRE WHO DIED ON THE RECENT CRISES IN THAT COUNTRY. THE REBELS IN THE CITY OF BOAKERY BOMBED ALHAJI MUSA’RECIDENCE DURING ONE OF THEIR RAIDS.HE AND ALL THE MEMBERS OF HIS FAMILY WERE KILLED IN THAT BOMB INCIDENT.ALHAJI MUSA IS AN INTERNATIONAL BUSSINESS MAN AND A MAJOR SUPPLIER OF YAMAHA MACHINE PARTS IN THIS COUNTRY.

THE MONEY WE ARE TALKING ABOUT IS IN THE BANK TREASURY BOX WAITING FOR THE NEXT OF KIN BECAUSE THE DECEASED DIED SINCE TWO YEARS AGO AND LIVING NO OTHER CONTACT AS IN NEXT OF KIN IN HIS BANK FILE AND THE BANK LAW STIPULATES THAT ANY MONEY THAT STAYS IN THE BANK CUSTODY FOR OVER TWO YEARS WITHOUT WITHDRAWAL OR PAYMENT WILL BE CONFICICATED INTO THE BANK PRIVATE USE.

HE HAS AN ACCOUNT WITH THIS BANK WHICH HE USES TO FINANCE HIS BUSSINESS IN THIS CONTRY.This is my bank website in burkina faso. http://www.bkofafrica.net)The said amount was USD$1m.(one million united states dollars).

SO RIGHT NOW THAT IS THE AREA I NEED YOUR ASSISTANCE TO ACT AS NEXT OF KIN TO THE DECEASED MAN SO AS TO INHERITE THIS FUND FOR OUR OWN BENEFIT AND I AM HERE TO GUIDE U AND TO FUNISH YOU WITH ALL THE NECESSARY INFORMATION CONCERNING THE DECEASED MAN BANK ACCOUNT.

THANKS AND REMAIN BLESSED I SUGGEST YOU GET BACK TO ME AS SOON AS POSSIBLE STATING YOUR WISH IN THIS DEAL.

FROM MR MUSA SOBIBRA. MY ALTERNATIVE ( )

Do you think Hulk should take advantage of this offer? Hulk thinks Hulk could make money and not have to live off the “stipend” that The Avengers still pay Hulk because they are afraid Hulk will come over and raid the refrigerator and make Jarvis cook a turkey for Hulk again.

Hulk has never told you people how nice Jarvis is. Jarvis is very nice. He is the Avengers’ butler but he is not like “Jeeves” because he does not have a website called AskJarvis or anything like that but Hulk thinks he is better because Hulk doesn’t have to type on the computer to ask Jarvis things like “Why do rainbows make Hulk happy?“ or “Can you please make some more Yorkshire pudding?“

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I want to receive the holy oil!!

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Posted: 21 February 2007 10:18 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 62 ]
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You had to have made that up MC.

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What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.    Ralph Waldo Emerson

6077156066-8933432345-4385489843

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Posted: 21 February 2007 10:26 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 63 ]
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No! He has a blog, click on the link!

Chewbacca has one too. I don’t know if he’s been getting scam emails or not though because I don’t understand him. Maybe David can translate it for us.

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Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking. - Dave Barry

I want to receive the holy oil!!

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Posted: 21 February 2007 11:29 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 64 ]
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Well at least it’s pretty easy to write Chewy’s blog, but i’m surprised he’s got the digit dexterity to operate a keyboard.

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Posted: 21 February 2007 12:19 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 65 ]
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Ok that is pretty funny.

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What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.    Ralph Waldo Emerson

6077156066-8933432345-4385489843

you are a stud-muffin…[Boo, 2008]

Silence is GOLDEN, Duct tape is SILVER…cheaper and more efficient.

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Posted: 27 February 2007 02:46 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 66 ]
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This guy was so eager to give me a 40% share in $10,000,000 that he sent this email to me twice.

From Barrister David Chiji
Chiji Chambers
#16 Akintola William Str.
Ikeja Lagos.
Office email:

My Dear K**m,

I am a lawyer.I am the personal attorney to Late Mr. Kenneth K**m, a National of your Country, who used to work as a contractor with Crystal Construction Company Inc.,herein after shall be referred to as my client. On the 21st of April 2002, my client, his wife and their three children were involved in a car accident along Sagamu express road. All occupants of the vehicle unfortunately lost their lives. Since then I have made several enquiries to your embassy to locate any of my clients extended relatives and this has also proved unsuccessful.

After these several unsuccessful attempts to locate any member of his family, hence I contacted you. I am contacting you to assist in repatriating the money and property left behind by my client before they get confiscated or declared unserviceable by the bank where this huge deposit were lodged. Particularly, the bank where the deceased had an account
valued above US$10,000,000.00 has issued me a notice to provide the next of kin or have the account confiscated and the funds returned to the government.

Since I have been unsuccessful in locating the relatives for over two years now I seek your consent to present you as the next of kin of the deceased since you have the same last name, so that the proceeds of this account valued above US$10,000,000.00 can be paid to you and then you and I can share the money, 60% to me and 40% to you. I have all
the necessary legal documents that can be used to back up any claim we may make. All I require is your honest cooperation to enable us see this deal through. I guarantee that this will be executed under a legitimate arrangement that will protect you from any breach of the law.

Please get in touch with me by my email, send to me your telephone and fax numbers to enable us discuss further about this transaction.

I await your urgent response and positive attention in this circumstance.Please write back through this email address ( )

Best regards,

Barrister David Chiji, LLB, LLM, BL,SAN
Attorney at Law.

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