Yeah, I’ve been getting a few good ones lately. My ISP’s mailserver’s been getting hammered with the equivalent of a Spam DDOS attack.. only aobut 1% make it through, but that stillmeans I’ve got about 14 a day.
FROM THE DESK DR. NGOZI OKONJO IWEALA.
MINISTER OF FINANCE,
OFFICE OF MINISTER OF FINANCE (NMOF)
CONTRACT #: MAV/NNPC/FGN/MIN/010,
Swift Code: BPH KPL PK,
A/C#: 329606=101244=169=678
FEDERAL EXECUTIVE COUNCIL ABUJA.
GARKI 11, GARKI, ABUJA-NIGERIA.
Our Ref: CBN/IRD/CBX/021/07.
I was the former Managing Director of World Bank and now by appointment I am the finance minister of Nigeria, we hereby inform you that the Scotland Yard Police, Interpol, Federal Bureau of Investigation, (FBI)United States of America, the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC) of Nigeria and all the African Crime fighter leaders have come together to stop scam/internet fraud in Nigeria and all round Africa. We have recovered over USD2.6 Billion Dollars from the people we have behind bars. As for today we have put a lot of fraudsters in jail. We go all over Africa to pick this thieves/internet rats. We have over 8,273 of them in our jails round Africa and we are still looking for more.
We are aware that a lot of foreigners out there have been deceived and lost their hard earn money to these fraudsters after promising them percentages in their letters/e-mails for their impending help to move funds out of Africa including fake lottery winning notification and at the end of the day, they will collect thousands of dollars from you without a successful end.
It was agreed that to retain the good image of Nigeria and the rest of African countries, all the victims who lost his/her hard earn money to these faceless thieves will be compensated with just USD4,500.000.00 (4.5million dollars). This we assume will help you to start a new life. Please, you have to accept the money in good faith because the people (victims) in our pay list are too much. We are paying back from the money we recovered from these fraudsters.
Your diplomat has arrived with your cash consignment box at Orlando International Airport (MCO) USA. CONTACT HIM NOW E-mail: .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) Phone: #(303) 351-xxxx.
I want you to know that you have 24 hours to call the airport ask to speak with the diplomat FRED WILLIAMS SAMBO with these phone #(303) 351-xxxx in the United States. They have been waiting to hear from you to help them complete this delivery of the consignment box to you right now, call them for clearance.
Note; That you must reconfirm your full address and valid phone# to him through these email: (fred2@xxxxxxx) immediately you receive these email to enable him deliver your cash consignment to you without any mistake.
I appreciate your good sympathetic and collaboration, Hope hearing from you swiftly. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ngozi_Okonjo-Iweala
CONGRATULATIONS.
DR. NGOZI OKONJO IWEALA,
MINISTER OF FINANCE (NMOF),
OFFICE PHONE: +234-8053-943-xxxx
I know, right? I think it may actually be a legitimate name over there, but yeesh. Wikipedia says it’s common in Madagascar.
For those who don’t know, ‘Sambo’ used to be a common slave name, and also a term for an African/American Indian hybrid. Needless to say it’s a little racially insensitive these days…
There was also a book, shockingly racist by today’s standards, called ‘Little Black Sambo’. Short version has a young boy (South Indian in the original) outwitting a bunch of tigers.
Oddly, there was also a restaurant chain that themed itself around the story - Sambo’s was my favorite place for family dinner back when I was about six.
Hmmmm, I wonder when the U S Department of State started using Gmail…
US DEPARTMENT OF STATE
Department of Finance and Administration
U.S. Department of State
2201 C Street NW
Washington, DC 20520
Email: info.usdepartment.stateATgmail.com
Dear Sir,
Acting in our capacity as the Apex body authorized by the US
Government to reconcile foreign payments, we are pleased to inform you
that full clearance has been granted for the release of the sum of
$6,500,000.00 dollars being the value of the payment approved in your
favor for immediate release.
Please note that your payment has been approved for immediate release
and transfer into your bank account as the sole beneficiary with
irrevocable Payment Router #: BOA-XXCL-753-082-11 issued and signed by
the Chief Financial Officer; to enhance our domestic security; and
this payment has been authorized to be paid out to you via issuance of
an ATM CARD through the Bank of America, California.
For your confirmation, the $6,500,000.00 dollars has been programmed
into an ATM PLATINUM CARD and it is ready for delivery to your address
via FEDEX. However, the delivery of the ATM CARD to you via FEDEX is
free because all fees connected with the delivery via FEDEX has been
prepaid, but a “U.S Anti-Terrorism Clearance Certificate” must be
obtained from the Financial Services Authority (FSA) for a fee of
$200.00 dollars before the ATM CARD delivery can go through. Hence,
you are advised to send the sum of $200.00 dollars via Western Union
with the understated details:
RECEIVER’S NAME: CHARLES GREEN
DESTINATION: CULVER CITY, CALIFORNIA - USA.
TEST QUESTION: COLOR
ANSWER: ORANGE
Amount: $200 USD
Please ensure that you confirm the details of your delivery address,
as well as send the details of payment for the $200.00 dollars via
email as soon as you have received this message.
Your immediate attention and compliance will be in your best interest.
Yours truly,
Mr. Dave Jefferson Jr.
Commissioner, Centralized Accounting
From: New York State Police Date: 12/20/2011 4:02:56 PM
To: .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)(This isn’t my email address)
New York State — Department of Motor Vehicles
UNIFORM TRAFFIC TICKET
POLICE AGENCY
NEW YORK STATE POLICE
Local Police Code
THE PERSON DESCRIBED ABOVE IS CHARGED AS FOLLOWS (Described where?)
Time: 9:17 AM
Date of Offense: 00/10/2011 (Ah, an imaginary date…)
IN VIOLATION OF
NYS V AND T LAW Description of Violation:
SPEED OVER 55 ZONE
TO PLEAD, PRINT CLICK HERE AND FILL OUT THE FORM
Love that you got a speeding ticket in New York, Mouse!
I am just that awesome.
Perhaps it is only a rough approximation of your location, given how fast you were traveling? Was the officer who wrote you up named Heisenberg, by any chance?
