Rooster
Posted: 31 August 2005 11:19 AM   [ Ignore ]
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An old farmer decided it was time to get a new rooster for his hens. The current rooster was still doing an okay job, but he was getting on in years and the farmer figured getting a new rooster couldn’t hurt. So he buys a new cock from the local rooster emporium, and turns him loose in the barnyard.

Well, the old rooster sees the young one strutting around and he’s a little worried about being replaced. He walks up to the new bird. “So you’re the new stud in town? I bet you really think you’re hot stuff don’t you? Well I’m not ready for the chopping block yet. I’ll bet I’m still the better bird. And to prove it, I challenge you to a race around that hen house over there. We’ll run around it ten times and whoever finishes first gets to have all the hens for himself.”

The young rooster was a proud sort, and he definitely thought he was more than a match for the old guy. “You’re on,” he said, “and since I’m so great, I’ll even give you a head start of half a lap. I’ll still win easy!” So the two roosters go over to the henhouse to start the race with all the hens gathering to watch. The race begins and all the hens start cheering the old rooster on. After the first lap, the old rooster is still maintaining his lead. After the second lap, the old guy’s lead has slipped a little—but he’s still hanging in there. Unfortunately, the old rooster’s lead continues to slip each time around, and by the fifth lap he’s just barely in front of the young fella.

By now the farmer has heard the commotion. He runs into the house, gets his shotgun and runs into the barnyard figuring a fox or something is after his chickens. When he gets there, he sees the two roosters running around the henhouse, with the old rooster still about half a meter in front. He immediately takes his shotgun, aims, fires, and blows the young rooster away. “Damn. That’s the third gay rooster I’ve bought this month.”

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Posted: 01 September 2005 08:22 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 1 ]
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And oldie but still a goodie LOL

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The Middleman: (drinking milk) You know, that was some darn fine cow squirt.

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Posted: 01 September 2005 08:51 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 2 ]
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Oooooh it took me a while.

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Soldier: This is the worst part. The calm before the battle.
Fry: And then the battle is not so bad?
Soldier: Oh, right. I forgot about the battle.

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Posted: 02 September 2005 04:15 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 3 ]
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dont worry Citizen, it took me a minute when i first heard it smile


(Woo hoo I’m now a senior member!!! smile)

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Posted: 03 September 2005 02:58 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 4 ]
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thunderstruck - 02 September 2005 08:15 PM

dont worry Citizen, it took me a minute when i first heard it smile


(Woo hoo I’m now a senior member!!! smile)

Well, I thought of the roosters running almost right next to eachother, not as the new one chasing the old one.  I think that joke needs a spacial revision.

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Soldier: This is the worst part. The calm before the battle.
Fry: And then the battle is not so bad?
Soldier: Oh, right. I forgot about the battle.

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Posted: 03 September 2005 05:20 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 5 ]
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you’re wish is my command….

That any better?

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If you can’t handle someone at their worst,

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Posted: 03 September 2005 07:38 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 6 ]
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thunderstruck - 03 September 2005 09:20 AM

you’re wish is my command….

That any better?

Did you add paragraph spaces?  I meant that it’s hard to think of the new rooster chasing the old rooster if they’re side by side.

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Soldier: This is the worst part. The calm before the battle.
Fry: And then the battle is not so bad?
Soldier: Oh, right. I forgot about the battle.

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Posted: 03 September 2005 07:59 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 7 ]
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oh, sorry. it was too early this morning, i had to get up to get up ‘cos the shopping was being delivered :p

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Posted: 04 September 2005 11:25 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 8 ]
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Good one, Thunder!

* so alone… *

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Posted: 05 September 2005 10:23 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 9 ]
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why alone?

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Posted: 05 September 2005 01:40 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 10 ]
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well, see, Nobody at all was on the forum last night, so I was lamenting the lack of people.

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Posted: 05 September 2005 03:01 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 11 ]
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ah, okay. seen.

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