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Birth Order?
Posted: 03 March 2013 08:01 PM   [ Ignore ]
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Does birth order affect how well or not you excel in life, business, even how you address your own self worth….even if you might be victimized by sibling bullying?

I am an extreme middle child.  I was bordered by both an older sister and brother, and younger brother and sister.  Like many I’ve read a number of articles on this subject.  I am not unusual but I do have some conditions that could definitely mar these studies:  1.  siblings did not know one another; 2. siblings were sent to separate boarding schools and raised largely apart and away from the ministerings of ‘parents’.

I might determine then that if any child was to have the best chance to succeed, then perhaps there should be only one, OR, all children raised in an atmosphere where ‘sibling’ is not an institute at all and no parent can control those specifics.  Strangely, I realize now that boarding school gave me that advantage…..we had a lot of ‘fathers’ and just as many ‘mothers’ and not one of us was a pointed/favored agenda.

Quiz: Birth Order and Personality, Relationships, Theory, and More

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Posted: 03 March 2013 08:45 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 1 ]
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I don’t think birth order has much effect in my family.  I have a sister who is nine years older than me.  I actually undertook more schooling than she did, as we moved away from the high school she was attending before her final year, and the local high school in our new suburb was so new they weren’t accepting final year students.  There also wasn’t a decent public transport service getting from home to her old high school (no dedicated school bus system, here!), and Mum said that there was no way she was going to ferry her back and forth every day (especially since she had to make sure I got off to primary school).  I also went on to tertiary education for a while before finally landing a job.

We are also vastly different personalities, meaning that our parents treated us differently, too.  My sister often complained that our parents let me do a lot more things than she ever was, but she was the type to see how far she could push the boundaries when restricted, where as I was happy to accept the boundaries.

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Posted: 04 March 2013 12:26 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 2 ]
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I think there might be something to it, but I never really paid attention to it in my case.  I see some aspects of it between my kids, though.  Certainly Heather gets away with more stuff than her siblings did, and I think a lot of that has to do with Dave and me just getting to a point where we realize certain things just aren’t worth battling over.

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Posted: 04 March 2013 09:04 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 3 ]
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Darn duplicate posts….

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Posted: 04 March 2013 09:04 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 4 ]
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I don’t think it has had much of an effect in my family.  Only one of us went to university while 3 of us spent time in the armed forces.  We are all doing fairly well right now with decent jobs and comfortable lives.  Our parents always treated us equally and I don’t think any of us had an advantage when we were growing up.  We’ve each made our own choices and come out ok in the end.

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Posted: 04 March 2013 09:58 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 5 ]
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Actually I have definitely seen this happening in quite a few families including our own when I was growing up.  I do believe ALL parents think they treat their children equally but they don’t.  I think many siblings believe they were all treated the same but I doubt very much that’s true. 

The first child is typically (nearly always) a delight to new parents:  they actually created another human being.  They take copious photos, show their achievement off to family, friends and strangers.  Enjoy buying those first toys

The next child is usually a ‘gift’ to the one who would have been an only child.  BUT the idea of making a ‘new’ life is wearing thin, even if just a little bit.  Parents are still proud but it isn’t the same.  It’s a little like the thrill of that first rollercoaster ride again and realizing that you know when the fall will happen this time (or think you do) and when the next turn is.  You’re also already prepared with highchair, little dishes, diapers, vitamins etc.  You’re getting into the groove.

The middle child is great, and you now are pretty experienced.  There are plenty of already purchased t-shirts, nighties, diapers and all the other purchased strollers, car seats etc. that you stored because by now you, as a parent, are not naive.

The youngest is born and you know this is the last one.  The older ones are no longer the cute babes and you decided to enjoy this one to its fullest.  The hand-me-downs are fine but you also want to enjoy buying for the last time too.  This one will be (usually) the last to leave the nest so this is the one who will keep you warm and feeling young for a while longer.
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Birth order DOES affect if you are surrounded by other siblings that are close in age and usually they are.  Late-life children are a surprise to everyone and are often FAR behind in age by 10-15 years from the oldest or even the next up.  They are NOT then actually ‘siblings’ except genetically because the others are often already out on their own so that late-in-life child is more an ‘only’ child.

Most people put blinders on when it comes to this issue.  It was once said that the oldest sibling got all the good genes which is stupid really…..it wasn’t the ‘genes’ it was the time a parent or both could give along with the parent’s feeling their child was a badge of success (which is also stupid).


NOTE:  I was 15 when I was sent away by my parents.  For many years that made me angry, but only for a little while.  Now I’m glad they did. 

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Posted: 05 March 2013 03:57 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 6 ]
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I think it has an effect. Even if it is as basic as being the second child is no longer novel and the parents have been through a number of new learning experiences with the first child, such as teething, walking, talking etc. The second child also has the advantage of being able to watch the older child get up to things and learn from them, whereas the first child only has the parents at first. Whether this is advantageous or not is another matter, but I do think there will is an effect. Other factors such as the first child being jealous of the second, inherited toys, clothes etc all have an impact.

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