Venezuela’s Chavez: Did U.S. give Latin American leaders cancer?
Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez speculated on Wednesday that the United States might have developed a way to give Latin American leaders cancer, after Argentina’s Cristina Fernandez joined the list of presidents diagnosed with the disease.
Except of course that we LIKE Argentina, and Fernandez, especially when compared to Chavez. If we could give anyone cancer, it would have been Chavez, years ago.
Chavez is steadily sliding into a black abyss of paranoia. Anything bad that happens is clearly the fault of the Big Bad United States Government, not his own bungling mismanagement.
Now, to be fair, there are *plenty* of known carcinogens out there, some of which could be administered in discreet ways, but then the same could be said for infectious diseases, poison, or just plain shooting someone.
Did the United State’s Government take Chavez’s brain? The people of Venezuela need to know as their leader bravely rules their country despite his grey matter being in the hands of the imperialistic country to the north.
In a recent address to his people, Chavez proclaimed “The US’s CIA may have removed my brain from me. But I promise I will still carry on as your devoted leader”. He was last seen being surrounded by his bodyguards as he staggered to his limousine.
(Reuters) - Capitalism may be to blame for the lack of life on the planet Mars, Venezuela’s socialist President Hugo Chavez said on Tuesday.
“I have always said, heard, that it would not be strange that there had been civilization on Mars, but maybe capitalism arrived there, imperialism arrived and finished off the planet,” Chavez said in speech to mark World Water Day.
Chavez, who also holds capitalism responsible for many of the world’s problems, warned that water supplies on Earth were drying up.
“Careful! Here on planet Earth where hundreds of years ago or less there were great forests, now there are deserts. Where there were rivers, there are deserts,” Chavez said, sipping from a glass of water.
So, apparently capitalist clear-cutting is responsible for desert conditions? Ok, let’s see.. we DID have the Dust Bowl, but that was a dought *and* overfarming of prarie land, not forests.. and it’s better now. Sorry, but if he can point to ONE desert that used to have trees, I’ll be surprised.
See what I mean? The world lost a great intellect when the Imperialistic Forces of the United States stole Chavez’s brain. No longer shall we hear intellectualistic gold from this once great man.
I tell you Chavez is a mere shadow of his former self. He now does television interviews with Ronald McDonald.
Good debunking of Chavez’s theory by the BBC, based on the statistics of cancer occurrence and demography of Latin-American leaders (who are all rather old, and often with a not-so-healthy lifestyle). They also point out that none of the Latin-American leaders in question had the same type of cancer.
