http://religion.blogs.cnn.com/2011/07/31/do-you-speak-christian/

Do you speak Christian?

Have you told anyone

*** continued from above ***

Contemporary churchgoers, though, no longer have time to take that walk, Leonard says. They consider their lives too busy for long revival services and extended altar calls. Many churches are either jettisoning or streamlining the altar call, Leonard says.

I think my ’favorite’ one of those is ‘Have you heard the good news?’ used by someone who’s cheerfully going to tell me about the bible…

For some reason, all the bible-pushers I’ve met who use THAT phrase are frighteningly cheerful. I don’t mean excessively cheerful, I mean frightening AND cheerful. The combination of a bright, cheerful expression with a look in the eyes that there is NO thought but God/Jesus/Bacon behind them…. it comes across as dangerously psychotic, not eager to spread the word.

One that sticks in my mind is:

“It’s not for me to judge”

Translation: “You ***hole”

I was helping out at a church run (I don’t know what to call it, but it’s free dinner for anybody that wants to come in and listen to a little prayer and eat) thing, and a teenager was volunteering and she was wearing this shirt that said, ‘Friends are just people you haven’t hooked up with yet,”  I’m thinking “hooked up” means something unchurchlike, but heck, maybe I’m wrong.  I’m sure she and her mother who was there also weren’t thinking what I was thinking.

I think I’ll start volunteering there again.  I’d rather pray with hookers and addicts and homeless than most of the nitwits I who call themselves “saved”.  There was this guy about 2000 years ago hung out with the unpopular crowd and he made quite a name for himself as a pretty decent fellow.

Bebelicious - 02 August 2011 08:27 PM

I’m thinking “hooked up” means something unchurchlike. . .

Depends on the particular church, I suppose.