A doggy mistake?
-A four paw
Why didn’t the Skeleton go to the Halloween Ball?
-He had no BODY to go with.
I’m loving the puppies.
What goes hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahPLONK!
Someone laughing their head off.
“Do you realise the sun doesnt go down, its just an illusion caused by the world spinning round”
Man 1: My dog’s got no nose!
Man 2: How does he smell?
Man 1: Well it’s the action of a series of chemical processess affecting the olifactory system, where by air particles are absorbed into the blood stream of the nasal cavity, resulting in the detection of individual aromas….
“Never before in my time at the bar or on the bench have I ever had to deal with somebody who voluntarily allowed himself to be buggered by a dog on the public highway.”
Two men walk into a bar. The first says to the second “didn’t you see it either?”
The Middleman: (drinking milk) You know, that was some darn fine cow squirt.
Man 1: My dog
The Kruger-Dunning effect is rampant on internet fora.
J. Kruger & D. Dunning (1999), Unskilled and unaware of it: how difficulties in recognizing one’s own incompetence lead to inflated self-assessments. J Pers Soc Psychol. 77, 1121-1134
Teacher: Okay Timmy… If I give you two rabbits, and then I give you three rabbits. How many rabbits do you have?
Teacher: No, try again… First I give you two rabbits, and then I give you three more rabbits. So how many rabbits do you have?
Teacher: No, don’t guess Timmy, try to work it out, okay?
Timmy: Okay… I already got one rabbit, but you give me two rabbits [...]
What’s brown and sticky?
I drove my tractor through your haystack last night… Ooh Arr Ooh Arr.
“There’s been a terrible accident, your son has been injured… in fact he’s dead…” - ‘The Monkey’s Paw’ as told very badly by our friend Adrian
I done up.
I done up who?
What’s purple and cube-shaped?
A purple cube.
What’s also purple and cube-shaped?
Another purple cube.
A lemon in disguise!
Aw, don’t cry.
It’s funny on two levels.
Heaven must be really boring, if you think about it logically.
All the angels must be snoring. Who could stand perfection for eternity?
Not me. - George Hrab