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The Husband Store
Posted: 22 March 2006 01:49 PM   [ Ignore ]
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In New York City, there is a six-floor building called ‘The Husband Store’.

Women are invited to shop there.

Categories of husbands are separated by floors.  There is only one rule that the women shoppers must obey:  As you go up each floor, you no longer can return to a lower floor to choose there instead.  If you go to the sixth floor, you can never shop at the lower floors again.

So a woman shopper enters the building, reads the rules, and decides this is for her.

She enters the first floor, and is informed the room is full of attentive, moderately attractive men, all her age.  She likes what she sees, but decides to find out what is on the second floor.

Upon entering, the room is full of attentive men of her age, who also have good jobs and are responsible citizens.  This please her, but she is curious about what else may be available, so she goes to the third floor.

Once there, she learns the room is full of attentive men who have good jobs, are good citizens, and are attractive.  This, too, is good, but she is eager to see what else there is.

On the fourth floor, the room is full of attentive men who like children, have good jobs, and are drop-dead gorgeous.  This is appealing, but still, she decides to try the fifth floor.

At the fifth floor, it is full of attentive men who have good jobs, like children, are drop-dead gorgeous, and are not only romantically inclined, they hunger to devote themselves completely to just that one special woman.

This is too good to be true, she says to herself, but still…....so she goes on up to the sixth floor.

At the entry, she reads an electronic sign, saying “Congratulations!  You are the 3,127,948th consecutive woman to enter this floor.  There are no men here….But:  this proves that you, like every other woman, are IMPOSSIBLE TO PLEASE.”

 

Hey, all in fun!  Please do not banish me!

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Posted: 22 March 2006 02:17 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 1 ]
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and for the flipside of this joke…. (I am just parroting this for the sake of Dan Jr.)


The Wife Store

A store that sells wives has just opened where a man may
go to choose a wife from among many women. The store is comprised of 5
floors, and the women increase in positive attributes as the shopper ascends the flights

There is, however, a catch. As you open the door to any floor you may
choose a woman from that floor, but if you go up a floor, you cannot go
back down except to exit the building.

So a man goes to the shopping center to find a wife.

On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These women can cook.
The man reads the sign and says to his self, “Well, that’s better
than my last girlfriend, but I wonder what’s further up?” So up he goes.

The second floor sign reads:
Floor 2 - These women can cook and love sex.
The man remarks to himself, “That’s great, but I wonder what’s
further up?” And up he goes again.

The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 -
These women can cook, love sex and have extremely large breasts.
“Hmmm, better” he says. “But I wonder what’s upstairs?”

The fourth floor sign reads:
Floor 4 -
These women can cook, love sex, have extremely large breasts and are not moody.
“Wow!” exclaims the man, “very tempting. BUT, there must be more,
further up!” And again he heads up another flight.

The fifth floor sign reads:
ARE YOU NUTS?!?
You shoulda stopped at floor 4 you idiot: It doesn’t get any better than that.
Thank you for shopping at Wife Mart and have a nice day.

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Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans. - John Lennon
You can twist perceptions, reality won’t budge. - Rush

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Posted: 23 March 2006 03:44 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 2 ]
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that last entry should be bannend

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Posted: 23 March 2006 04:29 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 3 ]
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What’s to stop me making multiple purchases?

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“Never before in my time at the bar or on the bench have I ever had to deal with somebody who voluntarily allowed himself to be buggered by a dog on the public highway.”

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Posted: 23 March 2006 06:48 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 4 ]
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Unfortunately the ‘Wife Store’ is not even vaguely plausible. I mean, do you know any man who’d even get past floor two?!

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Posted: 23 March 2006 08:28 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 5 ]
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Mort - 23 March 2006 09:29 AM

What’s to stop me making multiple purchases?

Mort…. wise man or foolish simpleton… do you WANT more than one wife?!? cheese

David B. - 23 March 2006 11:48 AM

Unfortunately the ‘Wife Store’ is not even vaguely plausible. I mean, do you know any man who’d even get past floor two?!

That is THE “alternative” punch line I have seen Dave B. :

Nobody has ever gone beyond the second floor…

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Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans. - John Lennon
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Posted: 23 March 2006 12:28 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 6 ]
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Another alternative punchline would be for the man to get to the 5th floor and find a sign reading “Rest of womankind”.

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Posted: 26 March 2006 02:20 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 7 ]
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oppiejoe - 23 March 2006 01:28 PM
Mort - 23 March 2006 09:29 AM

What’s to stop me making multiple purchases?

Mort…. wise man or foolish simpleton… do you WANT more than one wife?!? cheese

Being the practical man he is, he’d buy one from each level and then return it after 30 days.

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Posted: 28 March 2006 07:10 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 8 ]
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Citizen Premier - 26 March 2006 07:20 AM

Being the practical man he is, he’d buy one from each level and then return it after 30 days.

You can return them?! And why did no-one tell me this before?

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Posted: 28 March 2006 07:51 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 9 ]
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You can, David…but I believe it’d cost you half your worldly goods.

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Posted: 29 March 2006 07:12 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 10 ]
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Would that be the half she’s extorted out of me to date? Or the other half?

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Posted: 29 March 2006 07:20 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 11 ]
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Don’t be silly. The half she’s got already is your payment for the honour of being married to her.
The other half she gets if you try to return her.
wink

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