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Wow.  And to think I have been eating this stuff for years!!!!   

I just realized…..It’s not the calories that make you gain weight…. ....it’s all of the demons you’ve swallowed!!

That article made my day!

WOW…  That chick is off her rocker in a big way. 

For example, most of the candy sold during this season has been dedicated and prayed over by witches.

I’m assuming they’re at least on minimum wage.

Curses are sent through the tricks and treats of the innocent whether they get it by going door to door or by purchasing it from the local grocery store. The demons cannot tell the difference.

I don’t care. Seriously, I got some Cadbury’s Cinder Toffee Cake Bars this year and oh my goodness, they’re better than any other cake I’ve ever bought (but still not as good as home-made.)
She can pry them out of my cold, dead, cursed hands.

I have prayed for witches who are addicted to drinking blood and howling at the moon.

Y’know, I think she’s getting her mythological scary people really mixed up… 

Boo - 31 October 2009 12:32 AM

I don’t care. Seriously, I got some Cadbury’s Cinder Toffee Cake Bars this year and oh my goodness, they’re better than any other cake I’ve ever bought (but still not as good as home-made.)
She can pry them out of my cold, dead, cursed hands.

i had this wonderful mental image of members of The Witches Union standing around in black robes holding clipboards, and watching as each load of candy leaves the factory….

Witch 1 “Has that batched gotten the Basic curse, or the ‘Disobey your parents and Authority’ curse?”

Witch 2 “Oh no. That batch has the ‘Watch bad cartoons and Play the drums too loudly curse’.”

Witch 1 “WHAT!  That curse was only supposed to be used in Region 3, remember?!!! “

Witch 2 “Then what curse was this batch supposed to have gotten?”

Witch 1 “The ‘run around screaming like a banshee’ curse’.”

Witch 2 “Talk to Mabel.  She set the production for the day.”

Witch 1 *sigh* “Being a witch hasn’t been any fun since we went union…..” 

DavePrime - 31 October 2009 06:56 AM

Boo - 31 October 2009 12:32 AM

I don’t care. Seriously, I got some Cadbury’s Cinder Toffee Cake Bars this year and oh my goodness, they’re better than any other cake I’ve ever bought (but still not as good as home-made.)
She can pry them out of my cold, dead, cursed hands.

   

i had this wonderful mental image of members of The Witches Union standing around in black robes holding clipboards, and watching as each load of candy leaves the factory….

Witch 1 “Has that batched gotten the Basic curse, or the ‘Disobey your parents and Authority’ curse?”

Witch 2 “Oh no. That batch has the ‘Watch bad cartoons and Play the drums too loudly curse’.”

Witch 1 “WHAT!  That curse was only supposed to be used in Region 3, remember?!!! “

Witch 2 “Then what curse was this batch supposed to have gotten?”

Witch 1 “The ‘run around screaming like a banshee’ curse’.”

Witch 2 “Talk to Mabel.  She set the production for the day.”

Witch 1 *sigh* “Being a witch hasn’t been any fun since we went union…..” 

That lady sounds like one of Jack Chick’s “informants”, the ones who he uses as sources when he writes how the Vatican was behind the Holocaust and has a computer with the names of every Christian in it.

Come to think of it, he had some good stuff.

Wow… that’s a level of crazy you just don’t see much of..

Robin Bobcat - 01 November 2009 06:12 AM

Wow… that’s a level of crazy you just don’t see much of..

Depends on where you look. . .

Sonofagun, apparently Jack does agree with DavidPrime’s theory on witches.

So, does anybody have any successful nefarious curses to report?

I was cursed with a whole 3 lb bag of Rockets.  The demons in them are trying to get me to OD on sugar.

Quite the contrary to the title of this thread I ended up getting demonic curses and time-released candy.