Boy, I came across this one today and after the first bit I tried scrolling to the bottom. I didn’t think anyone could write this much about it. Of course it’s also totally confusing. Apparently though I should be cashing in my bonds and heading for the hills.
My head hurts after reading all of that. I think what they left out of the report was that to be called up to the rapture, you must be a member of a very exclusive group that is an absolute minority. You must be a black, gay, policeman, have one finger missing , be Jewish, be at least 1/8 American Indian, ride a skate board with only three wheels and be the of spring of a village idiot and a legal secretary who is a practising Jehovah witness, can crochet a skimpy bikini and can gargle the soviet national anthem.
Ok, when Jesus speaks today (OK, I won’t rant on about how His name wasn’t Jesus and nobody in his lifetime ever called him Jesus, and when the other kids came over, they said, “Can Yeshua come out and play?” and never said, “Can Jesus come out and play?”—OK maybe I’ll rant a little) to people here in 2009 in English, why does he say things like “Behold, I have come to give thee a gift?” as if he were living in oh…. say King James time? (I clicked on the “Take a tour of Hell” link on the site.) I’m sure Jesus never spoke English in his physical lifetime, but one would think that if he were visiting someone today, he would choose to communicate in the language of the day.
I would think he would say something like, “Hi. I’m Yeshua bin Yosef, you might know me as Jesus Christ, a little nickname I picked up to please the Europeans. I’ve been following you on Facebook, and I have something I’d like to give you. I’m thinking we could take a little tour of hell and afterwards you could write a book or something and help me spread the word. I promise to keep you safe. Are you game?”
Ok, when Jesus speaks today (OK, I won’t rant on about how His name wasn’t Jesus and nobody in his lifetime ever called him Jesus, and when the other kids came over, they said, “Can Yeshua come out and play?” and never said, “Can Jesus come out and play?”—OK maybe I’ll rant a little) to people here in 2009 in English, why does he say things like “Behold, I have come to give thee a gift?” as if he were living in oh…. say King James time? (I clicked on the “Take a tour of Hell” link on the site.) I’m sure Jesus never spoke English in his physical lifetime, but one would think that if he were visiting someone today, he would choose to communicate in the language of the day.
I would think he would say something like, “Hi. I’m Yeshua bin Yosef, you might know me as Jesus Christ, a little nickname I picked up to please the Europeans. I’ve been following you on Facebook, and I have something I’d like to give you. I’m thinking we could take a little tour of hell and afterwards you could write a book or something and help me spread the word. I promise to keep you safe. Are you game?”
Wow. Great minds think alike! The whole conversion to modern English thing has bothered me as well. Why on Earth would a Personal, Omnicient, All powerful God/Man speak to someone from today’s society in anything other than the standard tongue they are used to hearing at the supermarlet or gas station? I can understand using the formal form of whichever language the seer speaks, but using a stilted, out of date form of the same just makes no sense.
I can understand using the formal form of whichever language the seer speaks, but using a stilted, out of date form of the same just makes no sense.
Well, it could make some sense. It’s what a lot of people expect, and it adds a sense of gravitas to the words. People would be less likely to take seriously somebody who comes up to them and says something like, “‘Sup, bro? Call me J.C.!” It’s the whole image thing.
Of course, what would really happen, according to the New Testament, is that Jesus would just speak in one language and everybody would hear it in their own language. That’s what happened with the apostles. So I would imagine that it would be a case of the language you’d hear would be the exact form of that language that would get the message across to you the best.
What the report did not menton was the Mayan calender, according to that , life as we know it stops on 2012 on the 21 December, so think about it not long to go!
Knowing my luck , I will be on the can when it happens and miss out again. When I say again, I was in the can when they were handing out intelligence!!!!!!!
Maybe if I change my name to Howdy Bin Around A Bit, I may have a greater chance. What if the rapture does come and we were all tricked and the only ones to go to heaven are the hare krishnas? I just couldn’t bring myself to shave my head and wear orange, it’s a bit too Timothy Mcveigh.
