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A few jokes…
Posted: 31 December 2010 01:27 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 23 ]
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A physicist, an engineer and a statistician are out deer hunting, and spot, in the distance, a 12-point buck.

The physicist knowing the mass of the bullet, the mass of gunpowder in his shell and the distance to the deer, fires off a shot that hits the dirt 20 yards short of the deer.

The engineer, quickly estimating humidity, atmospheric density and wind speed and direction, fires off a shot and the dirt spurts up 20 yards beyond the deer.

The statistician pumps his fist and yells “You got him!”

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“Facts are meaningless - you could use facts to prove anything that’s even remotely true!

“Weaseling out of things is what separates us from the animals. Except the weasel.” ... H Simpson

“The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas.”

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Posted: 31 December 2010 01:49 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 24 ]
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From The Office (priceless…)

Three guys are discussing their rides. The first guy says, “Well, I’m an astronaut, so I drive a Saturn.” And the second guy says, “Well, I am a pimp, so I drive a cheap Escort.” And the third guy says, “I got you both beat. I’m a proctologist, so I drive a brown Probe.”

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Whether I will grow up to be the hero of my own life, I do not know.

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Posted: 15 January 2011 11:08 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 25 ]
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A few of Steven Wright’s thought provoking funny one-liners:

“I’ve been doing a lot of abstract painting lately, extremely abstract. No brush, no paint, no canvas, I just think about it.”

“Today I dialed a wrong number… The other person said, “Hello?” And I said, “Hello, could I speak to Joey?”... They said, “Uh… I don’t think so… he’s only 2 months old.” I said, “I’ll wait.”“

“When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, “Did you sleep good?” I said, “No, I made a few mistakes.”“

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Posted: 08 June 2011 09:01 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 26 ]
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Two molecules meet.  The first one goes :
- Are you okay ? You don’t look too good.
- No, I’m not feeling well.  I lost an electron.
- Are you sure ?
- Yes, I’m positive.

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Posted: 27 December 2011 09:56 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 27 ]
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Only In It for the Money

There was a couple that was having an argument in their home over financial problems. And the wife finally got very mad, and exploded saying, “You should know that if it weren’t for my money,
this television set wouldn’t be here. If it weren’t for my money, that easy chair that you’re sitting
on wouldn’t be here, either. And, if it weren’t for my money, this house wouldn’t even be here!”
And then the husband said, “Are you kidding? If it weren’t for your money, I wouldn’t be here,
either!”

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Posted: 03 March 2012 07:32 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 28 ]
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Smerk the cutest dragon
Lived by the sea
And frolicked in the autumn mist
In Western Australi

Little Accipiter loved that girl enough
He told her jokes and crazy facts
And other forum stuff

Smerk the cutest dragon:
Traveled cross the sea,
To hunt her prey in foriegn lands,
And snuggle with Acci!

Smerk the cutest dragon
Is getting married now they say
Though little Accipiter
Has yet to name the day.

http://www.veshearman.com/

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Posted: 03 March 2012 08:19 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 29 ]
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LOL Love it! LOL

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Research Mod

“We are wise to avoid association with those who hide their identity in Internet chat rooms.”
                                                                  - The Watchtower

The platypus is mother nature’s way of saying, “I made this thing out of spare parts I found on the workshop floor, and it can still ****ing cripple you.”

Sylvia Browne

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Posted: 03 March 2012 08:35 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 30 ]
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Madmouse - 03 March 2012 08:19 PM

LOL Love it! LOL

What she said! LOL

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Remember, a Dragon is for life!

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Posted: 07 March 2012 11:22 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 31 ]
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Q: How many Chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Only one, but you have to go back for seven visits.


Q: How many Zen Buddhists does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Four
One to change the light bulb
One to not change the light bulb
One to change and not change the light bulb
One to not change and change the light bulb

Warning - Dirty Joke ahead

Q: How many Elephants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Two, but it has to be a really big lightbulb.

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Smerk the cutest dragon
Lived by the sea
And frolicked in the autumn mist
In Western Australi

Little Accipiter loved that girl enough
He told her jokes and crazy facts
And other forum stuff

Smerk the cutest dragon:
Traveled cross the sea,
To hunt her prey in foriegn lands,
And snuggle with Acci!

Smerk the cutest dragon
Is getting married now they say
Though little Accipiter
Has yet to name the day.

http://www.veshearman.com/

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Posted: 19 March 2012 09:23 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 32 ]
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http://blastr.com/2011/05/image-of-the-day-the-emba.php

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Smerk the cutest dragon
Lived by the sea
And frolicked in the autumn mist
In Western Australi

Little Accipiter loved that girl enough
He told her jokes and crazy facts
And other forum stuff

Smerk the cutest dragon:
Traveled cross the sea,
To hunt her prey in foriegn lands,
And snuggle with Acci!

Smerk the cutest dragon
Is getting married now they say
Though little Accipiter
Has yet to name the day.

http://www.veshearman.com/

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Posted: 20 March 2012 12:49 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 33 ]
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If I had a chance to have dinner with anybody, dead or alive, I would choose alive.

-BJ Novak-

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“I have CDO. Its like OCD, but in alphabetical order, LIKE IT SHOULD BE!!”

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