Lawyer & Farmer
Posted: 13 October 2005 11:23 PM   [ Ignore ]
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A big-city California lawyer went duck hunting in rural Texas. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer’s field on the other side of a fence. As he climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.

The litigator responded, “I shot a duck and it fell into this field, and now I’m going to retrieve it.”

The old farmer replied, “This is my property, and you are not coming over here.”

The indignant lawyer said, “I am one of the best trial attorneys in the US and if you don’t let me get that duck, I’ll sue you and take everything you own.”

The old farmer smiled and said, “Apparently, you don’t know how we do things in Texas. We settle small disagreements like this with the Texas Three-Kick Rule.”

The lawyer asked, “What is the Texas Three-Kick Rule?”

The farmer replied, “Well, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times, and so on, back and forth, until someone gives up.”

The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.

The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the city feller. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy work boot into the lawyer’s groin and dropped him to his knees. His second kick nearly wiped the man’s nose off his face. The barrister was flat on his belly when the farmer’s third kick to a kidney nearly caused him to give up.

The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet and said, “Okay, you old coot! Now, it’s my turn!”

The old farmer smiled and said, “No, I give up. You can have the duck!”

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Smerk the cutest dragon
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Smerk the cutest dragon
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Posted: 14 October 2005 06:37 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 1 ]
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Nice one Shar!

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The Middleman: (drinking milk) You know, that was some darn fine cow squirt.

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Posted: 14 October 2005 11:03 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 2 ]
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LOL never heard that before, very good!

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If you can’t handle someone at their worst,

You don’t deserve them at their best.

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Posted: 15 October 2005 04:58 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 3 ]
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good joke i like it when the little man wins

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I had to stop with him.  He was a (gasp…) a vegan.

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Posted: 18 October 2005 03:48 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 4 ]
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My dad used to tell that joke when he was drunk, ah those were the days.

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“No point mentioning those bats, I thought. The poor bastard will see them soon enough.“
When humanity forgets the importance of art, art will forget that humanity exists… - Me / 2004

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