It Had to Happen: Osama bin Laden Zombie Movie!

Much of the planet heaved a sigh of relief last year when U.S. forces finally killed the world’s most wanted terrorist. But what if Osama bin Laden, who was buried at sea on May 6, 2011, rose from his watery grave and led a murderous zombie jihad against the West?

That is the unhinged plot of the low-budget independent film coming this summer from Arrowstorm Entertainment. Called, appropriately enough, “Osombie: The Axis of Evil Dead,” the film was directed by John Lyde and stars Corey Sevier (“Immortals”) and Eve Mauro (“Land of the Lost”). In this full-length feature (which may provide the final nail on the coffin of the ubiquitous zombie genre), Mauro plays Dusty, a yoga instructor from Colorado (what else?), who follows her brother Derek to Afghanistan (aka the mountains of Utah). Derek, a longtime conspiracy nut, is convinced that Osama bin Laden is still alive even though he was buried at sea. And whaddyaknow! It turns out that for once Derek is on to something! Dusty soon find herself “embedded” with a group of hunky NATO Special Forces who do everything in their power to stop bin Laden’s undead terrorist army. Will they succeed before the evil leader orchestrates a worldwide zombie apocalypse? Will this film succeed where the U.S. has failed—making al-Qaeda look so ridiculous that the organization loses all credibility among its faithful followers? Or will bin Laden have the last laugh by destroying the careers of everyone involved with this thing?

The trailer has to be seen to be believed. Take a look (after the break) and decide if you want to contribute to the film’s Kickstarter campaign. The filmmakers are only $5,000 short of being able to get their film in theaters this summer. Where do I sign up?

British Darth Vader fighter dies aged 89

Former Olympic fencer Bob Anderson, who staged fights in Star Wars films and From Russia With Love, has died at the age of 89.

Anderson fought light sabre battles as Darth Vader in The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi, two of the original Star Wars films.

In the non-fight scenes, Vader was played by David Prowse and voiced by James Earl Jones.

The British Academy of Fencing confirmed Anderson died on 1 January.

It was Mark Hamill, who played Luke Skywalker in the Star Wars trilogy, who revealed Anderson was behind the fight scenes in a 1983 interview with Starlog magazine.

“It was always supposed to be a secret, but I finally told George (Lucas) - the director - I didn’t think it was fair any more,” he said.

“Bob worked so bloody hard that he deserves some recognition. It’s ridiculous to preserve the myth that it’s all done by one man.”

Robert James Gilbert Anderson was born in Hampshire in 1922. He served in the Royal Marines during World War II and represented the UK in fencing at the 1952 Olympics and the 1950 and 1953 World Championships.

His first foray into the film world was in the 1952 swashbuckler The Master of Ballantrae, starring Errol Flynn.

He was soon in demand and went on to work on films including Die Another Day, The Princess Bride, The Legend of Zorro and The Lord of the Rings trilogy.

Fencing Academy president Philip Bruce paid tribute on its website: “He was truly one of our greatest fencing masters and a world-class film fight director and choreographer and both the fencing community and film world will miss him.”

Anderson is survived by his wife Pearl and three children. Funeral details have not yet been announced.

State broadcaster ZDFneo has evidently decided that German viewers are now ready for the episode “Patterns of Force,” 43 years after it was first broadcast in the United States in 1968.

The episode, part of the second season of the immensely popular science fiction franchise, sees the Starship Enterprise visit the planet Ekos in the M34 Alpha System to investigate the disappearance of John Gill, Federation historian and one of Kirk’s erstwhile professors at Starfleet Academy.

The Ekosians, at war with the nearby planet Zeon, are intent on wiping out all the Zeons living on their planet – and destroying Zeon itself - in what they call a “Final Solution.” The Ekosians refer to the Zeons as “Zeonist pigs.”

Kirk and Spock (played by William Shatner and Leonard Nimoy, both Jewish) discover that the Ekosians have adopted all the features and institutions of Nazi Germany – including the salute, brown-shirted Stormtroopers, the SS, and the Gestapo, from their “Führer” – none other than John Gill.

Both Kirk and Spock then steal Nazi uniforms to infiltrate the regime and call Gill to account. At one point Spock comments that Kirk “should make a very convincing Nazi.”

The episode was originally considered unfit for German audiences because it referred to Nazi Germany as “the most efficient society” ever created.

As a result, “Patterns of Force” was excised from the series when ZDF first broadcast the original Star Trek in the mid-1970s, and was also removed when private channel Sat 1 aired the show in the late 1980s and early 1990s.

The episode was only dubbed into German in 1995 and was first shown on German pay TV in 1996.

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It has been more than six decades since Warren Weaver, a pioneer in automated language translation, suggested applying code-breaking techniques to the challenge of interpreting a foreign language.

In an oft-cited letter in 1947 to the mathematician Norbert Weiner, he wrote: “One naturally wonders if the problem of translation could conceivably be treated as a problem in cryptography. When I look at an article in Russian, I say: ‘This is really written in English, but it has been coded in some strange symbols. I will now proceed to decode.’ ”

That insight led to a generation of statistics-based language programs like Google Translate — and, not so incidentally, to new tools for breaking codes that go back to the Middle Ages.

Now a team of Swedish and American linguists has applied statistics-based translation techniques to crack one of the most stubborn of codes: the Copiale Cipher, a hand-lettered 105-page manuscript that appears to date from the late 18th century. They described their work at a meeting of the Association for Computational Linguistics in Portland, Ore.

Discovered in an academic archive in the former East Germany, the elaborately bound volume of gold and green brocade paper holds 75,000 characters, a perplexing mix of mysterious symbols and Roman letters. The name comes from one of only two non-coded inscriptions in the document.

Kevin Knight, a computer scientist at the Information Sciences Institute at the University of Southern California, collaborated with Beata Megyesi and Christiane Schaefer of Uppsala University in Sweden to decipher the first 16 pages. They turn out to be a detailed description of a ritual from a secret society that apparently had a fascination with eye surgery and ophthalmology.

It began as a weekend project this year, Dr. Knight said in an interview, adding: “I don’t have much experience in cryptography. My background is primarily in computational linguistics and machine translation.”

Uncertain of the original language, the researchers went down several blind alleys before following their hunches. First, they assumed the Roman characters and not the abstract symbols contained all of the information.

But when that approach failed, they figured that the code was what cryptographers call a homophonic cipher — a substitution code that does not have a straightforward correspondence between the original and encoded information. And they decided the original language was probably German.

Eventually they concluded that the Roman letters were so-called nulls, meant to mislead the code breaker, and that the letters represented spaces between words made up of elaborate symbols. Another crucial discovery was that a colon indicated the doubling of the previous consonant.

The researchers used language-translation techniques like expected word frequency to guess what a symbol might equal in German.

“It turned out that we can apply a lot those techniques to code breaking,” Dr. Knight said.

The work is being praised by other experts. “Cracking the Copiale Cipher was a neat bit of work by Kevin Knight and his collaborators,” said Nick Pelling, a British software designer and a security specialist who maintains Cipher Mysteries, a cryptography news blog.

But while the cipher was a notable success, Dr. Knight and his colleagues have been frustrated by other, more impenetrable ciphers.

“There are these books and ancient languages of real historical value that contain historical information that we just can’t get out yet, and that’s of interest to a lot of people,” he said in a filmed interview describing the Copiale project.

The work has value to historians who are trying to understand the spread of political ideas. Secret societies were all the rage in the 18th century, Dr. Knight said, and they had an influence on both the American and French Revolutions. He recently shared the decoded Copiale text with Andreas Onnerfors, a historian at Lund University in Sweden and an expert on secret societies.

“When he saw the book and the decoded version, he was very excited about it,” Dr. Knight said. “He found a political commentary at the end that talked about the natural rights of man. That was pretty interesting and early.”

Modern examples of challenging ciphers include the communications the Zodiac killer sent to the police in California in the 1960s and ’70s, and the “Kryptos” sculpture, commissioned for the C.I.A. headquarters, which has been only partly decoded.

But the white whale of the code-breaking world is the Voynich manuscript. Comprising 240 lavishly illustrated vellum pages, it has defied the world’s best code breakers. Though cryptographers have long wondered if it is a hoax, it was recently dated to the early 1400s.

With a University of Chicago computer scientist, Dr. Knight this year published a detailed analysis of the manuscript that falls short of answering the hoax question, but does find some evidence that it contains patterns that match the structure of natural language.

“It’s been called the most mysterious manuscript in the world,” he said. “It’s super full of patterns, and so for somebody to have created something like that would have been a lot of work. So I feel that it’s probably a code.”

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For Matt Stone and Trey Parker, nothing is holy or immune to satire. And since the launch of their groundbreaking animated TV series “South Park,” they’ve skewered a multitude of world religions, pointing out hypocrisies, inanities or just playing with ridiculous stereotypes. One of their most famous religious satires, 2005’s Scientology-targeting “Trapped In The Closet” episode, allegedly struck such a nerve with the church’s leaders that the group responded by targeting Stone, Parker and their friends in a long-term covert investigation.

Marty Rathbun, a former Church of Scientology executive-turned-critic and independent worshipper, revealed to the Village Voice a number of documents that detailed the religious sect’s detailed surveillance of the Emmy-winning TV moguls. Through the help of informants, public records and various other means, they searched for “vulnerabilities” in the pair’s personal lives, and after exploring their personal and business connections, widened their focus to investigating actors such as John Stamos, as well.

“Phone records. Bank records. Personal letters that expose some kind of vulnerability,” Rathbun told the Voice. “They’ll read stuff into the kind of alcohol you’re drinking and how much. Prescriptions. They’ll figure out your diet. They can find out a lot about you through your trash.”

Rathbun’s personal site leads with a post that includes more information, including this summary: “In ’06 the creators of South Park, Trey Parker and Matt Stone, became targets of Corporate Scientology’s OSA. Operations were run in an attempt to silence Parker and Stone. While Corporate Scientology was ultimately unsuccessful, left behind an instructive data trail during their efforts.”

“Trapped in the Closet” featured a storyline that had Stan, one of the four children that make up the show’s core, take a “personality test” after being encountered on the street by a group of Scientologists. The vague test reveals that he is miserable, which leads him to agree to pay the church to make him happy again. An “E-meter” reading reveals that he is housing the soul of Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard, and various Hollywood celebrities who are members of the church flock to his home to help convince him to become their new leader.

One of those celebrities included Tom Cruise, who locks himself in a closet, which was a clear allusion to various rumors about his sexuality. John Travolta, another member of the church, soon joined him in the closet. Stan’s friends tell him that the religion is actually a cult, pointing out that Hubbard was a science fiction writer, though he at first refuses to believe it. Eventually, the Scientology elders reveal that the church is a for-profit con, calling their own religion “crap.”

Cruise was so incensed by the episode that he allegedly threatened to not participate in promotion for “Mission: Impossible III” junket if a re-run of the episode was aired; Viacom owns both Comedy Central and Paramount, the studio that put out the film. Cruise’s reps denied this, though the episode was indeed pulled. Stone and Parker, for their part, put out a satirical statement on the matter:

  “So, Scientology, you may have won THIS battle, but the million-year war for earth has just begun! Temporarily anozinizing our episode will NOT stop us from keeping Thetans forever trapped in your pitiful man-bodies. Curses and drat! You have obstructed us for now, but your feeble bid to save humanity will fail! Hail Xenu!!!”

  “Trey Parker and Matt Stone, servants of the dark lord Xenu.”

Rathbun teased more documents, which reveal major advances in their investigations, would come soon. He was arrested in September, allegedly at the behest of the Church of Scientology, though charges were later dropped; the Voice reported then that the Church of Scientology was harassing him, in part because he practices the faith outside of the official Church.

“South Park” satirizes religion in just about every episode (click here for a slide show of ten of their most memorable). The show has cast Satan as the cowardly lover of Saddam Hussein, while Kyle, another of the four core children, comes from a very stereotypical Jewish family. Parker and Stone also created the Broadway show, “Book of Mormon,” which pokes fun at that religion.

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It’s cute. Pink. Rainbows. Hearts. Giggly girls.

And it’s good.

It’s actually intelligently-written, designed to be watched by the Target Audience, but not bore any Parental Units who are watching with them. Lauren Faust, the designer of the show, absolutely detested the sacchrine-sweet 80s version, and set out to make something that kicked ass. She’d worked on Foster’s Home For Imaginary Friends as well as the Powerpuff Girls, so… yeah.

Where before there was giggling at silly outfits, there is now actual comedy. Where once was endless tea parties and princesses, there is now action and adventure.

The scary thing is that the fastest-growing group who watches My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic… is guys. 18-35-year olds. The REALLY scary thing is that some of the most hard-bitten, cynical rotten bastards of 4chan have… well.. been transformed. Something about the sheer innocent joy of it has cracked their dark hearts, and made them actually realize just how awesome being nice can be. Thus have been born the ‘Bronies’. The (foreign) media takes notice!

Suddenly, pink means cool parties, rainbows are awesome, and everypony respects the Princess. It’s THAT good.

Additionally, the creators have taken notice of their unexpected fanbase. An animation ‘goof’ in the backround - a pegasus with crossed eyes - became a fan favorite, despite appearing for only seconds at a time, and her only line is ‘Muffins!’. The creators saw all the love that ‘Derpy Hooves’ was getting, and have begun deliberately putting her into the show. Thusly.

There’s been even more love for the adult fans. The Season Two premier episode had John Delancie playing the villian Discord. For those unfamiliar with the name, he played Q on Star Trek… and that’s pretty much what Discord was - an omnipotent trickster. He even did the finger-snap. Also included in the episode was Chocolate Rain, another internet meme, as well as Star Wars references. “Your overconfidence is your weakness.” “Your faith in your friends is yours.” as well as… well, a certain ending. (note brief cameo of Derpy - it’s like Where’s Waldo now)

They’re trying to get Weird Al to do some voice work for them.

The incredible part is the amount of creativity the fans are showing. Yutube videos of remixed pony tunes are numbering in the hundreds, if not thousands. There are people working on games. There are even people doing animated Doctor Who.. er, Doctor Whooves crossover cartoons. Yes, that’s Derpy. Again, one of the background ponies - a chestnut colt with Tennet’s hair and an hourglass mark - becomes a fan favorite.

So yes.. if you hadn’t guessed, I’m a fan.  It’s just… well… It makes me smile, and that’s something I’ve needed, for a very long time. It isn’t for everyone - I’ve shown it to people who watched a couple episodes and gave a ‘meh’ - but there’s a lot of people who find it gives a little bit of sunshine in a cold, cruel world.

If you want to check it out, the episodes are usually available online. Trolls have been bugging YouTube to get them taken down (Hasbro doesn’t actually mind - free advertising for them!), so my usual go-to for the episodes is no more. Still, try this link: Episode One!

Before people ask, no, it’s not a ‘Furry’ thing. Oh, sure, there’s crossover between the groups, but the fanbase appears to be its own thing.

Oh, and before I forget: Whoever my Secret Santa is, I don’t need any ponies, but thanks anyway.

It’s structured somewhat like a quiz show, with Fry acting as the quizmaster.  The contestants are British stand-up comics, literati, and general celebrity types.  Fry asks a question (from science, literature, history, etc.) and the contestants get points for giving interesting answers, right or wrong.  They are heavily penalized for giving boring or expected answers.

I found it on YoTube, and it’s given me hours of laughter.

hrmpffffff

free speech

MUHAHAHAHAHA

Given the cultural impact and enormous franchise spawned by the original Star Trek series, it’s hard to believe that the show lasted just three seasons and was canceled by NBC in 1969 because of low ratings.

But if network number-crunching and the shortsightedness of advertising sponsors doomed it, Star Trek’s long-term survival, evidenced by its ongoing syndication, not to mention the numerous TV spinoffs and feature-length films it’s inspired, is both a vindication of and a tribute to its creator and executive producer, Gene Roddenberry.

And Roddenberry was a guy badly in need of vindication. His career began promisingly: Roddenberry wrote scripts for some popular 1950s TV shows like Naked City, Highway Patrol and Have Gun, Will Travel. But the original Star Trek TV series, as well as the first feature-length film, Star Trek: The Motion Picture, were conspicuous successes in an otherwise unremarkable and often problematic association with Hollywood.

The commercial success of the first Star Trek movie would spawn other films and a new TV series, Star Trek: The Next Generation, although Roddenberry’s involvement with those projects was diminished. But if his relationship with the industry had its rough patches, his reputation as a futurist and visionary — which begins and ends with Star Trek — is assured.

The original show’s most visionary aspects were social, not scientific, and that had everything to do with the times. The country was in turmoil, embroiled in Vietnam and the growing civil rights movement. Roddenberry said later that these events influenced many of the themes, as well as the multicultural makeup of the crew.

Roddenberry remained in demand on the lecture circuit to the end of his life, speaking not only at universities but at some other pretty significant places, too, including the Smithsonian Institution and NASA.

Star Trek’s impact on popular culture is matched by only a handful of other television shows, and surpassed by precious few.

The original cast members on the USS Enterprise’s 1966 flight deck became household names: Capt. James T. Kirk (William Shatner), First Officer Mr. Spock (Leonard Nimoy), Dr. Leonard “Bones” McCoy (DeForest Kelley), Chief Engineer Montgomery “Scotty” Scott (James Doohan), Communications Officer Nyota Uhura (Nichelle Nichols) and Helmsman Hikaru Sulu (George Takei). Navigator Pavel Chekov (Walter Koenig), who joined the cast in the second season to give the Russians their due in space, was also a popular character.

Phrases like “Beam me up, Scotty” and “Live long and prosper” and “to boldly go …” entered the lexicon, and the show’s cult following, kept visibly alive by the numerous and rollicking Star Trek conventions, remains strong to this day. An 11-foot model of the starship Enterprise is on display at the Smithsonian.

On the tech front, the communicator used by Enterprise crew members is said to have been the inspiration for the flip-open cellphone.

The original pilot episode for the series, “The Cage,” was filmed in 1964 but not aired in its entirety until 1988. After the original pilot was rejected by NBC, “The Cage” was chopped up and heavily edited, and eventually shown under the title “The Menagerie” during Star Trek’s three-year run.

Nimoy’s Mr. Spock was the only character from the pilot to later appear in the TV series, although he was most un-Spock like, showing a lot more emotion than your average Vulcan. In the pilot, the Enterprise was commanded by Capt. Christopher Pike (Jeffrey Hunter).

Because of all the spinoffs that resulted from it, Roddenberry’s Star Trek is often referred to as The Original Series. For a lot of us who came of age watching Shatner chewing on all that alien scenery and nibbling on all those alien necks, it was The Only Series.

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