I figured we could use this here on the MoH…... 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BJS4TvjTDaI
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZtAiz3Akizg
Mod edit - there are now spoilers below!
I figured we could use this here on the MoH…...
It’s stuff like this that drives Crafty crazy….
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“We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances. Inside this room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. You have to kill her.”
The first man said, “You can’t be serious. I could never shoot my wife.”
The agent replies, “Then you’re not the right man for this job.”
The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the agent came out with tears in his eyes. “I tried, but I can’t kill my wife.”
The agent replies, “You don’t have what it takes. Take your wife and go home.”
Finally, it was the woman’s turn. Only she was told to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one shot after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow and said, “You guys didn’t tell me the gun was loaded with blanks. I had to beat him to death with the chair.”
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Halfway through a romantic dinner, my husband smiled and said, “You look so beautiful under these lights.” I was falling in love all over again when he added, “We gotta get some of these lights.”
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My sister worked at the ticket booth for a wildlife drive-through park. One day a woman drove up to the booth in a convertible. “I’m sorry, ma’am,” my sister said, “but the bears will destroy the top of your car if you drive it through the park. Would you like to use one of the junk cars we keep here for these situations?”
“A junk car?” the woman said reluctantly. “How about if I just put the top down?”
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The milk shake machine at the fast-food restaurant I manage was broken, so I had an assistant post a sign to that effect on the drive-through speaker. A short time later, a customer pulled up to the speaker.
“May I take your order?” I asked.
Crash, boom, bang! came the response.
I asked the customer to pull around. “Were you pounding on the speaker?” I asked the driver.
“Yes, I was,” she admitted.
“Why would you do that?”
“Because the sign on the speaker said ‘Shake Machine Broken.’ ”
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And i really like this one:
My new credit card arrived in the mail with a large sticker on it, giving the phone number to activate the card. I called the number and got one option: “press one” to activate the credit card. That led me to a live person, who answered with her first name and the title “credit card activator.” As I got ready to give her the necessary information, she interrupted me, asking, “How can I help you?”
]]>There should be a warning label on all beer containers!
Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, parties & local pubs to be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink by any woman.Many females use a date-drug on the market called ‘Beer ’ .
The drug is found in liquid form and is available anywhere. It comes in bottles, cans, or from taps and in large kegs.
Beer is used by female sexual predators at parties and bars to persuade their male victims to go home and sleep with them.
A woman needs only to get a guy to consume a few units of Beer and then simply ask him home for no-strings-attached sex.
Men are rendered helpless against this approach. After several Beers , men will often succumb to the desires to sleep with horrific looking women to whom they would never normally be attracted.
After drinking Beer , men often awaken with only hazy memories of exactly what happened to them the night before, often with just a vague feeling that’something bad’ occurred.
At other times these unfortunate men are swindled out of their life’s savings, in a familiar scam known as ‘a relationship’. In extreme cases, the female may even be shrewd enough to entrap the unsuspecting
male into a longer-term form of servitude and punishment referred to as ‘marriage’.
Men are much more susceptible to this scam after Beer is administered and sex is offered by the predatory females.Please forward this warning to every male you know.
If you fall victim to this ‘Beer ’ scam and the women administering it, there are male support groups where you can discuss the details of your shocking encounter with similarly victimized men.
For the support group nearest you, just look up ‘Golf Courses’ in the phone book.