With the blankest of blank expressions on their faces, these mysterious figures have been popping up in the most unlikely of places.
The faceless mutants have a penchant for A-list celebrity bashes and have been spotted at Elton John’s White tie ball and Harrods summer sale, opened by Sex and the City star Kim Cattrall.
Full Story (with pictures).
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Apparently, this is a real painted floor, but it looks photo shopped to me.
“Now that Vancouver has won the chance to host the 2010 Winter Olympics, these are some questions people the world over are asking!!!
Believe it or not these questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website (frightening, isn’t it!)
Obviously the answers are a joke; but the questions were really asked!!!
Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow?(UK)
A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.
Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
A: Depends on how much you’ve been drinking.
Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto-can I follow the Railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it’s only Four thousand miles, take lots of water.
Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)
A: So it’s true what they say about Swedes.
Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed Beaver. (Italy)
A: Let’s not touch this one.
Q: Are there any ATM’s (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-da is that big country to your North...oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.
Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees Contact us when you get here and we’ll send the rest of the directions.
Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys’ Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)
A: No, WE don’t stink.
Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you sell it in Canada? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.
Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)
A: Only at Thanksgiving.
Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round?(Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gathers. Milk is illegal.
Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I Forget its name. It’s a kind of big horse with horns. (USA)
A: It’s called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.”
Reminds me of that show “Talking to Americans”, eh!
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A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, “Please come over here and help
me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can’t figure out how to get
started.”
Her boyfriend asks, “What is it supposed to be when it’s finished?”
The blonde says, “According to the picture on the box, it’s a rooster.”
Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle.
She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over
the table.
He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to
her and says,
“First of all, no matter what we do, we’re not going to be able to
assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster.”
He takes her hand and says, “Second, I want you to relax. Let’s have a
nice cup of tea, and then “ he said with a deep sigh, “let’s put all the Corn Flakes back in the box.”
I found ‘Googy Gress’ in the credits for ‘Charmed’.
Best name I’ve heard in ages.
News or not?
]]>Of course, they wanted the best for Yam.
When it was time, they told her about the facts of life.
They warned her about going out
And getting half-baked, so she wouldn’t get accidentally mashed, and
get a bad name for herself like ‘Hot Potato,’ and end up with a bunch
of Tater Tots.
Yam said not to worry, no Spud would get her into the sack and make a
rotten potato out of her!
But on the other hand she wouldn’t stay home and become a Couch Potato
either.
She would get plenty of exercise so as not to be skinny like her
Shoestring cousins.
When she went off to Europe, Mr and Mrs. Potato told Yam to watch out
for the hard-boiled guys from Ireland,
And the greasy guys from France called the French Fries, and when she
went out west, to watch out for the Indians so she wouldn’t get
scalloped.
Yam said she would stay on the straight and narrow and wouldn’t
associate with those high class Yukon Golds, or the ones from the
other side of the tracks who advertise their trade on all the trucks
that say, ‘Frito Lay.’
Mr. And Mrs. Potato sent Yam to Idaho P.U. (that’s Potato University )
so that when she graduated she’d really be in the Chips.
But in spite of all they did for her, one-day Yam came home and
announced she was going to marry Tom Brokaw.
Tom Brokaw!
Mr. And Mrs. Potato were very upset.
They told Yam she couldn’t possibly marry Tom Brokaw because he’s just.....ACOMMONTATER
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