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Pretty bad vaguely religious joke
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Posted By:
Sharruma
Apr 19, 2005
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A Rabbi and a Roman Catholic priest are travelling together in a train and
it being a long journey they start to talk.
Rabbi : So what's your next move?
Priest : Well, if I'm lucky I might get a parish of my own
Rabbi : And then?
Priest : Well perhaps I'll be made a Canon and maybe even a Bishop!
Rabbi : And after that?
Priest : Well I suppose, it's just possible that I could become a Cardinal
Rabbi : Yes, and er, and what after that?
Priest : Well, it's ridiculous to think about it. But I suppose I could
become Pope!
Rabbi : And then?
Priest : Well that's it, Pope! There's only God after that.
Rabbi : Well, you never know, after all one of our boys made it.
*I'll claim to be sorry here, but if I was truely sorry I wouldn't press the
little submit button  *
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Comments
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Page 2 of 2 pages < 1 2 |
X
in McKinney, TX
Member
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Posted: Fri Apr 22, 2005 | 12:22 PM
Ooook, I finnaly get it. |
Accipiter
Member
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Posted: Fri Apr 22, 2005 | 12:33 PM
Progressiveness and change can be good things in religion, but they can also cause problems. Each copy of the Koran is supposed to be the same as every other copy that is or was, but even with that consistency in Islam there are so many different interpretations of what the Koran means and so much strife over which interpretation is "right". Then you consider Christianity, where they change the Bible every other week; they have the same problems as the Muslims have, but compounded by the question of which is THE Bible. |
Citizen Premier
in spite of public outcry
Member
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Posted: Fri Apr 22, 2005 | 05:28 PM
Is the Koran in the same language as when it was written? |
Citizen Premier
in spite of public outcry
Member
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Posted: Fri Apr 22, 2005 | 05:31 PM
Razela, how exactly is it that you are Jewish and atheist? Last time I checked, Judaism involved a strong belief in God. |
Maegan
in Tampa, FL - USA
Member
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Posted: Fri Apr 22, 2005 | 07:56 PM
Citizen, Jewish isn't just a religion or faith. It's something you're born into. In the Hebrew bible, Israel was it's own race. (From what I understand of it anyways...but Razela can go on & correct me if I'm wrong.) |
Maegan
in Tampa, FL - USA
Member
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Posted: Fri Apr 22, 2005 | 07:57 PM
Ehh...I should have put " " around Israel. |
andychrist
Member
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Posted: Fri Apr 22, 2005 | 11:09 PM
Why do Jews have big noses?
The air is free.
 |
stork
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Posted: Fri Apr 22, 2005 | 11:10 PM
In our town, there's 30 mph two-lane highway that passes right between a fundamentalist Baptist church, with a Chritian Science Reading Room right beside it, and directly across the street, the only Jewish Synagogue in our county. The CSRR is very plain, but the Baptist church has a changeable, lighted sign in the lawn that features the most inane inventions of modern reliously-connectd sayings imaginable. New comments coming next week! I was, unfortunately raised in a fundamentalist household. However, I much prefer, and admire, the permanent Biblical quote that is displayed in a poured and engraved cement lintel above the door of the Synagogue, which reads, (sorry for the caps, but this is what it says) - MY HOUSE SHALL BE CALLED A HOUSE OF PRAYER FOR ALL PEOPLES - I don't think it gets any more profound than that. To my Jewish friends, Shalom, and Happy Passover |
Razela
in Chicago, IL
Member
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Posted: Sat Apr 23, 2005 | 02:39 AM
Meagan, I couldn't correct you if you're wrong. I actually have no idea. I kind of got a C in the Judaism section of my comparative religions class a few years ago in college. Sad, I know.
But basically citizen, Judaism is a religion, but it's also a culture. The thing that most non-Jews don't understand about Judaism, is that Judaism is not a faith based in the devine, but a faith based in life. There is not even a Jewish account of the afterlife. The whole idea is that whatever happens after death happens after death, but we need to focus on life. Judaism is all about how to live your life. There are lots of rules in Judaism, but it is also a very individualized religion, encouraging debate and questions. Hence why there are so many atheist Jews out there. The religion encourages asking questions rather than taking everything on blind faith.
A very religious Jew is probably deeply offended that someone calling themselves Jewish does not believe in God, but especially in America that is becoming more and more the case.
Sure, I don't really believe in God, but I believe in my culture and my family and my people. I go to services, am learning hebrew, have visited Israel, and make sure to celebrate all the holidays, but not because of my belief in God, but because I'm carrying on traditions from the history of my family. To me, that is more important than any God.
Does that help any? It really is a bit hard to explain. |
Razela
in Chicago, IL
Member
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Posted: Sat Apr 23, 2005 | 02:43 AM
Andychrist, that is one of the funniest jokes I've ever heard. I'm definitely telling that one at my seder on sunday! |
andychrist
Member
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Posted: Sat Apr 23, 2005 | 02:28 PM
Chappy Paisach. |
Maegan
in Tampa, FL - USA
Member
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Posted: Sun Apr 24, 2005 | 07:57 AM
I watched a story about Passover on the local college station. (PBS or something.) It was interesting...it showed the Orthodox Jews & their preparation...and then the Jews that had a more updated way of doing passover.
I thought the 18 minute matzo was neat...I didn't realize how it really was made. We had a Seder at church a few years ago. A lot really goes into doing it. |
Razela
in Chicago, IL
Member
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Posted: Sun Apr 24, 2005 | 01:11 PM
I actually hate matza, but considering I'm sitting here on passover eating left over girl scout cookies, I don't think matza will be too much of a problem.
I've never made matza before, though I was invited to do that today. I guess that is where I would be right now if I had actually wanted to wake up at like 8am. |
Maegan
in Tampa, FL - USA
Member
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Posted: Sun Apr 24, 2005 | 01:19 PM
Yeah...it's not good, but it's made in 18 minutes. Rachel Ray should totally do a show about that!! (She IS the one that does the 30 minute meals right?) |
Evildream
in You mamas house
Member
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Posted: Sun Apr 24, 2005 | 05:01 PM
that is funny |
Accipiter
Member
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Posted: Sun Apr 24, 2005 | 08:15 PM
Citizen Premier: I can't say with any certainty since I wasn't actually around back in 632 AD when Mohammed was putting the final touches on the Koran, but it is supposed to be in the same language and unaltered still. |
Winona
in USA
Member
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Posted: Sun Apr 24, 2005 | 10:40 PM
Why make matza when you buy it, they both taste pretty cardboardy. I do have a recipe somewhere for an awesome chocolate cake that is made with matza meal though. |
Razela
in Chicago, IL
Member
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Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 | 03:35 AM
Actually, I make this super yummy chocolate toffee matza. It's a pain in the ass to make though because if you aren't quick cleaning the pans, the toffee or chocolate will harden. Also, everything has time limits, so for 3 hours you are just running around making it. There's no let-it-bake-in-the-oven-for-30-min time. |
Amanda
in CA
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Posted: Wed Aug 10, 2005 | 02:31 PM
I'm an atheist-jew. Most of my family is the same. I am very proud of being Jewish. Our people are so strong. I love being Jewish, but I cannot force myself to believe in a God. The culture is there, though. |
DFStuckey
in Auckland New Zealand
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Posted: Fri Aug 12, 2005 | 11:44 PM
Having some Jewish lineage, I feel comfortable telling the following;
During the time of the Inquisition, The Pope in Marseille was being pressured to do something about the Jewish population, and from all sides of the matter. so, he decided he would hold a debate on theology with the Chief Rabbi to decide the matter. Problem was, the Pope spoke Latin and French, and the Cheif Rabbi spoke Aramaic, Hebrew and Polish only. However, they went ahead, setting two chairs facing each other in the town square.
The debate started. The Pope moved one hand around himself: The Rabbi pointed straight at the ground. The Pope held up three fingers, the rabbi countered with one. The Pope, looking bemused, brought out a commuinion wafer and a bottle of wine from a bag, and showed them to the Rabbi, who returned from his pocket an apple. The Pope stood and declared " The Jews may stay and be unmolested in this city!"
As the Pope walked away, his cardinals asked him what happened."You saw for yourself. I showed him God was all around us, he replied that He was with us here right now watching. I reminded him of the Blessed trinity, he pointed out that God is also one. Then, when I produced the blood and Body Of Christ that redeem us, he showed me the source of the need for redemption - Original sin. Such a wise man," Concluded the Pope," must lead a blessed people indeed."
On the Jewish side, people asked "Ba'al Rabbi, what happened?" The rabbi paused, and stroked his beard."Well, it was very odd. He said he was gonna round us up, I said we were staying put. He said we had three days to get out of town, I told him up his. Then, he showed me his lunch, I showed him mine, and for some meshugginah reason, he changed his tune . . . " |
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