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Joke: Physician’s Comments
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Posted By:
The Curator
in San Diego
Apr 19, 2005
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I recently picked a new primary care physician. After two visits and exhaustive lab test, he said I was doing "fairly well" for my age.
A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, "Do you think I'll live to be 80?"
He asked, "well, do you smoke tobacco or drink beer or wine?" "Oh no", I replied. "I've never done either."
Then he asked, "Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?" I said, "No, I heard that all red meat is very unhealthy."
"Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf / sailing / ballooning / motorcycling / rock climbing?" "No I don't", I said.
He said, "Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or sexually fool around?" "No", I said. "I have never done any of those things."
He looked at me and said, "Then why do you give a shit if you live to be 80?"
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Comments
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Page 1 of 2 pages 1 2 > |
X
in McKinney, TX
Member
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Posted: Tue Apr 19, 2005 | 12:15 PM
Thats what I have always thought. |
Maegan
in Tampa, FL - USA
Member
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Posted: Tue Apr 19, 2005 | 12:20 PM
Cute! |
Hairy Houdini
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Posted: Tue Apr 19, 2005 | 12:27 PM
Well, let's see if I'm having fun: 1)I don't smoke tobacco, and I don't drink alcohol. 2)I minimize my red meat intake, as it's hard for me to digest, and makes me fart. 3)I try to limit my direct exposure to the sun, after having gotten several exreme sunburns as a kid, butI do spend as much time outside as possible (see fart reference). 4) I don't gamble, I hate being in/on vehicles (except for my bicycles), and I rarely have sex (don't ask). Hmmmm... KILL ME NOW |
X
in McKinney, TX
Member
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Posted: Tue Apr 19, 2005 | 12:31 PM
Dude!!!!! No wonder you have an ATTITUDE!!!!
This is where the phrase, "You need to get out more" comes from..... |
Hairy Houdini
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Posted: Tue Apr 19, 2005 | 12:34 PM
ATTITUDE? (your caps) Kiss my ass, spud |
Hairy Houdini
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Posted: Tue Apr 19, 2005 | 12:36 PM
"You need to get out more often"... this from a guy in a tin can... what's your expiration date, Sir Stubbie? I can't wait |
X
in McKinney, TX
Member
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Posted: Tue Apr 19, 2005 | 12:43 PM
See What I mean!!!!! |
Hairy Houdini
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Posted: Tue Apr 19, 2005 | 12:45 PM
you're just cranky cuz I rifled thru your desk a couple of weekends ago. Don't make me do it again. BTW, that shirt you're wearing is has KICK ME written all over it (figuratively, not literally, so stop trying to look) |
X
in McKinney, TX
Member
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Posted: Tue Apr 19, 2005 | 12:47 PM
One of these days, I'll try and figure out what in the world that means..... |
Hairy Houdini
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Posted: Tue Apr 19, 2005 | 12:47 PM
You're the only one on this site who cheeses me off, Sir Loins. I save my attiDude just for you. Isn't that special? |
X
in McKinney, TX
Member
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Posted: Tue Apr 19, 2005 | 12:51 PM
What else is new!!! |
X
in McKinney, TX
Member
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Posted: Tue Apr 19, 2005 | 12:55 PM
At times I think you might be an OK kinda guy, other times, you sound like a computer geek that sit's infront of the moniter all day long with his hands down his pants.....Which side of the fence do you live on man????
:coolhmm: |
Hairy Houdini
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Posted: Tue Apr 19, 2005 | 12:58 PM
That does it. I'm going thru your desk again, and this time, I'm burning your Britney Spears fan club membership card. And don't even think of editing me, you power-mad putz |
X
in McKinney, TX
Member
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Posted: Tue Apr 19, 2005 | 01:00 PM
Oh Yeah!!! I'm gonna publish the photo of your mom blowing an Indian!!!! |
X
in McKinney, TX
Member
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Posted: Tue Apr 19, 2005 | 01:01 PM
Or was that you?????Hmmmmm |
Hairy Houdini
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Posted: Tue Apr 19, 2005 | 01:05 PM
My mother? ahem... Stephen: @#$%^&*(*$%@%^@!@$%@$#^*&$%@#%*^#!@$^*(# and the horse who rode in on you |
X
in McKinney, TX
Member
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Posted: Tue Apr 19, 2005 | 01:10 PM
MY GOD!!! You really are a geek! I didn't want to believe it, but hell, the evidence is right here.
You dissapoint me......Your outa your league here junior. 😕
Time to start applying the brakes guy! |
X
in McKinney, TX
Member
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Posted: Tue Apr 19, 2005 | 01:12 PM
Im just mess'n with ya junior....Your not bad at all. |
Hairy Houdini
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Posted: Tue Apr 19, 2005 | 01:13 PM
you'd better get back to work, Stephen. The fat guy wants to supersize it, and you're low on fries |
X
in McKinney, TX
Member
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Posted: Tue Apr 19, 2005 | 01:14 PM
Wha.....What tha hell does that mean???? Are you high or something???? If your gonna Thrash me, at least make sense, or it stops here. |
Hairy Houdini
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Posted: Tue Apr 19, 2005 | 01:18 PM
Roof. Roof. Roof... sorry my comments are over your head. You need a drink. Flush first, and don't let the lid fall on your pointy little head |
X
in McKinney, TX
Member
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Posted: Tue Apr 19, 2005 | 01:19 PM
You remind me of this saying:
"The kid that swallowes too many marble's shouldn't live to have his own."
You must be a "weak" branch in the Tree of Humanity.
What Doctor saved your ass and made it worst for the rest of us. |
Charybdis
in Hell
Member
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Posted: Tue Apr 19, 2005 | 01:21 PM
At least when Pooh and I hijack a thread it's all "cutesy" and not all "I know you are, but what am I".
🙄 |
LaMa
in Europe
Member
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Posted: Tue Apr 19, 2005 | 01:21 PM
Dong dong dong.... Bell for round 2!!
Now, where did I leave that bag of popcorn? |
X
in McKinney, TX
Member
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Posted: Tue Apr 19, 2005 | 01:21 PM
Damned, Chary, you just want a piece of this!!! |
X
in McKinney, TX
Member
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Posted: Tue Apr 19, 2005 | 01:22 PM
And then LaMa enters....U get a kick outa this don't you!!! |
Hairy Houdini
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Posted: Tue Apr 19, 2005 | 01:23 PM
Save my ass? no... Shave My Ass and call me Stephen |
Hairy Houdini
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Posted: Tue Apr 19, 2005 | 01:24 PM
Scorecards, anybody? How'm I doing |
X
in McKinney, TX
Member
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Posted: Tue Apr 19, 2005 | 01:25 PM
Give it up Hairy..... |
X
in McKinney, TX
Member
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Posted: Tue Apr 19, 2005 | 01:26 PM
I need to go to the head and get some coffee...Be back in a sec. |
Hairy Houdini
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Posted: Tue Apr 19, 2005 | 01:28 PM
I love it. He says my mom blows indians, and I should just give it up. My Mom just called and said she ain't too upset, BUT THE INDIAN IS FURIOUS |
X
in McKinney, TX
Member
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Posted: Tue Apr 19, 2005 | 01:31 PM
I see you are used to getting picked on....This will go no where. Too many wedges in school, huh... |
Hairy Houdini
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Posted: Tue Apr 19, 2005 | 01:31 PM
He says I've got "my hand down my pants", and he runs off to the bathroom. Hmmm... you're gonna go blind, Steph-o |
Hairy Houdini
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Posted: Tue Apr 19, 2005 | 01:33 PM
wedges? what the hell's a wedge? Like a potato wedge? Oh, i'm sorry, you're still dolphinfloggin. I can wait... Dum de dum de dumbass |
X
in McKinney, TX
Member
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Posted: Tue Apr 19, 2005 | 01:34 PM
Poor guy, he has reached rock bottom and started to dig......Quit using my comments as a cruch for your own...... |
Charybdis
in Hell
Member
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Posted: Tue Apr 19, 2005 | 01:35 PM
The first rule of MOH is, you do not talk about MOH.
The second rule of MOH is, you DO NOT talk about MOH. |
X
in McKinney, TX
Member
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Posted: Tue Apr 19, 2005 | 01:35 PM
If you stop swinging, I will take my hand of your forhead little boy. |
LaMa
in Europe
Member
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Posted: Tue Apr 19, 2005 | 01:35 PM
Dong! break!
(waves towel at Stephen)
Allright now boy, his agility is better, but you have your rock solid stubborness and determination. Don't let him provocate you. Keep up your defences and wait for the right moment
Dong!
Okay, there you go again boy! |
Hairy Houdini
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Posted: Tue Apr 19, 2005 | 01:36 PM
And, why do you need to go to the head to get a cup of coffee? Is that where you keep your cream? Don't burn your swizzle stick |
X
in McKinney, TX
Member
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Posted: Tue Apr 19, 2005 | 01:36 PM
Haaaaa!!!! Good ice breaker, Chary! |
X
in McKinney, TX
Member
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Posted: Tue Apr 19, 2005 | 01:37 PM
LaMa, this guy is swinging at air....I haven't heard trash talk like this since second grade. He needs to pack his lunch and go to another playground. |
LaMa
in Europe
Member
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Posted: Tue Apr 19, 2005 | 01:38 PM
"If you stop swinging, I will take my hand of your forhead little boy."
- chuckle- for a moment, I really read 'foreskin' there.... |
Hairy Houdini
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Posted: Tue Apr 19, 2005 | 01:38 PM
What's that? You swing with little boys for head? Damn... |
Hairy Houdini
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Posted: Tue Apr 19, 2005 | 01:42 PM
Say Uncle, Stephen. Apologize for calling my mom an Indian-Blower, and I'll let you leave the playground with your pants on and your nose unbloodied |
LaMa
in Europe
Member
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Posted: Tue Apr 19, 2005 | 01:43 PM
To turn back to the thread; if we live to be 80, I bet Stephen and Hairy are still quarreling (and Charyb and Winona still cuddling) |
Hairy Houdini
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Posted: Tue Apr 19, 2005 | 01:45 PM
He started it. Check the record. |
Charybdis
in Hell
Member
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Posted: Tue Apr 19, 2005 | 01:48 PM
And Boo still stalling on the marriage.
:coolsmile: |
X
in McKinney, TX
Member
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Posted: Tue Apr 19, 2005 | 01:49 PM
He's weak.....He keeps using my words to come up with something intelligent. |
X
in McKinney, TX
Member
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Posted: Tue Apr 19, 2005 | 01:50 PM
I am now bored with this.....What havoc can I start next. |
Hairy Houdini
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Posted: Tue Apr 19, 2005 | 01:56 PM
"He's weak.....He keeps using my words to come up with something intelligent". Somebody had to- God knows you don't, Sir Stupen |
Hairy Houdini
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Posted: Tue Apr 19, 2005 | 01:58 PM
clang clang clang And that's the final bell, Ladies and Gentlemen. Hairy has returned to his corner, and Stephen has left the ring in tears. The Winnah, and new Champeen, Hairy Houdini. Adrienne! |
Charybdis
in Hell
Member
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Posted: Tue Apr 19, 2005 | 02:05 PM
So Hairy, now that you've won the MOH Championship, what are you going to do next? |
X
in McKinney, TX
Member
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Posted: Tue Apr 19, 2005 | 02:06 PM
That boy never got a hit in.... |
X
in McKinney, TX
Member
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Posted: Tue Apr 19, 2005 | 02:08 PM
While he was so called, Winning, I had post a new topic....Guys need to check this out. |
Hairy Houdini
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Posted: Tue Apr 19, 2005 | 02:26 PM
"So Hairy, now that you've won the MOH Championship, what are you going to do next?" Well, Howard, I'm going thru Stephen's desk this weekend, and then I'M GOING TO DIZZYLAND. Float like a butterball, sting like a beat |
Myst
Member
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Posted: Tue Apr 19, 2005 | 03:22 PM
I need to go to the head and get some coffee...
Stephen, at least you didn't turn that around. 😜 |
The Curator
in San Diego
Member
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Posted: Tue Apr 19, 2005 | 03:54 PM
I would break this up, but it's too amusing.
It's like watching an episode of <i>When MOH Readers Attack... (each other)</i> |
Charybdis
in Hell
Member
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Posted: Tue Apr 19, 2005 | 04:00 PM
I'm waiting for Unsolved Mysteries - Stephen Autopsy. |
Winona
in USA
Member
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Posted: Tue Apr 19, 2005 | 04:03 PM
Please notice I did not hijack this thread.
Thank you. |
Charybdis
in Hell
Member
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Posted: Tue Apr 19, 2005 | 04:06 PM
Yeah, me neither. I simply jumped aboard after it was already bound for Cuba. |
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Page 1 of 2 pages 1 2 > |
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Note: This thread is located in the Old Forum of the Museum of Hoaxes.
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