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Puns
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Posted By:
Evildream
in You mamas house
Apr 13, 2005
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The maharajah of an Indian Province issued a royal decree. He ordered that no one was to kill any wild animals while he was the country's leader. The decree was honored until there were so many Bengal Tigers running loose that the people revolted and threw the maharajah from power. This is the first known instance of the reign being called on account of the game.
A farmer was milking his cow. He was just starting to get a good rhythm going when a bug flew into the barn and started circling his head. Suddenly, the bug flew into the cow's ear. The farmer didn't think much about it, until the bug squirted out into his bucket. It went in one ear and out the udder.
There was a guy who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
As migration approached, two elderly vultures doubted they could make the trip south, so they decided to go by airplane. When they checked their baggage, the attendant noticed that they were carrying two dead raccoons. "Do you wish to check the raccoons through as luggage?" she asked. "No, thanks," replied the vultures. "They're carrion."
Queen Nyteshade had two claims to fame. She could tell fortunes and she was a midget. The local authorities frowned on her because they thought that fortune telling was fraudulent. They had Queeny arrested. She was placed in a holding cell. Since she was so small she was able to squeeze between the bars of her cell and escape. This to incensed the judge that he ordered the local newspaper to print an article about the culprit. The following was printed in the paper the next day. Small medium at large.
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Comments
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Page 2 of 9 pages < 1 2 3 4 > Last › |
LaMa
in Europe
Member
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Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2005 | 01:39 PM
This is, for all you American culture barbarians, the famous balcony scene..... |
Sharruma
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Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2005 | 01:40 PM
Oooooh
West side Story  |
LaMa
in Europe
Member
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Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2005 | 01:51 PM
(snifl) bloody bloody barbarians. Want to rule the world, but do not know anything about the balcony scene from Romeo & Juliet, THE balcony scene...
Life is cruel, life is VERY cruel.
but allright, have it your way, your barbaric way...
West Side Story!
"The most beautifull name I ever heard......
Winona Winona Winoooonaaaaaaaa.........!' |
Winona
in USA
Member
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Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2005 | 02:15 PM
LOL Y'all are crazy. 
I did get the R&J - I was Juliet in a play once, as well as one of the three witches in Macbeth, and Hamlet's father's ghost(!!).
Now you tell me which one I was best suited for... (I vote witch) |
Sharruma
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Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2005 | 02:23 PM
You mean the Scottish play
Never use the 'M' word near an actor |
LaMa
in Europe
Member
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Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2005 | 02:28 PM
Winonalove, send me a picture first and then i'll tell ya... |
Winona
in USA
Member
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Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2005 | 02:36 PM
I just looked through my scanned pics & literally don't have one. I'll see if I can find one to scan. I'm the picture taker in this house, so the most recent is probably wedding ones (9 years ago!!). |
Charybdis
in Hell
Member
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Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2005 | 02:38 PM
LaMa, here slain, whom Charybdis's hand did slay;
Charybdis that spoke him fair, bade him bethink
How nice the quarrel was, and urged withal
Your high displeasure: all this uttered
With gentle breath, calm look, knees humbly bow'd,
Could not take truce with the unruly spleen
Of LaMa deaf to peace, but that he tilts
With piercing steel at bold Mercutio's breast,
Who all as hot, turns deadly point to point,
And, with a martial scorn, with one hand beats
Cold death aside, and with the other sends
It back to LaMa, whose dexterity,
Retorts it: Charybdis he cries aloud,
'Hold, friends! friends, part!' and, swifter than
his tongue,
His agile arm beats down their fatal points,
And 'twixt them rushes; underneath whose arm
An envious thrust from LaMa hit the life
Of stout Mercutio, and then LaMa fled;
But by and by comes back to Charybdis,
Who had but newly entertain'd revenge,
And to 't they go like lightning, for, ere I
Could draw to part them, was stout LaMa slain.
And, as he fell, did Charybdis turn and fly.
This is the truth, or let Benvolio die.
Romeo & Juliet III:1
Who knew that memorizing this in school would pay off twenty years later? |
Charybdis
in Hell
Member
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Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2005 | 02:43 PM
Sonnet 116
Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.
William Shakespeare |
LaMa
in Europe
Member
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Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2005 | 02:43 PM
Ohh no no no Charyb! in this re-enactment of Romeo & Julia, YOU were Tybalt from the start, not me. And I am Romeo. |
Charybdis
in Hell
Member
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Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2005 | 02:44 PM
Oh,
Macbeth |
LaMa
in Europe
Member
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Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2005 | 02:45 PM
Charyb, did you know that many of those sonnets were iin fact dedicated to young underaged boys......?!  |
Charybdis
in Hell
Member
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Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2005 | 02:46 PM
No, Romeo kills Tybalt. It works better for me this way.
Well, up to a point.
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Charybdis
in Hell
Member
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Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2005 | 02:48 PM
Ya know, homoerotic paedophilia talk kinda kills the mood, LaMa. |
LaMa
in Europe
Member
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Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2005 | 02:52 PM
Well, YOU brought in the sonnet... |
Charybdis
in Hell
Member
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Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2005 | 02:57 PM
Yeah, but you brought in it's provenance. Besides, I've conceded Winona to you. You can have the little two-timer. Good luck keeping her in line.
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Winona
in USA
Member
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Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2005 | 03:00 PM
*kicks Chary (again) for giving up so easily* No more licks for you, mister!
I did find a pic, but it is a super crappy scan because I was scanning through a frame. Look at it here. |
LaMa
in Europe
Member
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Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2005 | 03:06 PM
neither the witches nor the ghost...I've found my Juliet! |
Charybdis
in Hell
Member
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Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2005 | 03:09 PM
You are aware that pictures can be taken out of their frames to be scanned aren't you? Or were you to busy cheating to take the time?
Bah! Why am I even bothering? You never really loved me at all! You just used me for my money! HA! Joke's on you. I don't have any!
Ha!!!
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Winona
in USA
Member
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Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2005 | 03:12 PM
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