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Puns
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Posted By:
Evildream
in You mamas house
Apr 13, 2005
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The maharajah of an Indian Province issued a royal decree. He ordered that no one was to kill any wild animals while he was the country's leader. The decree was honored until there were so many Bengal Tigers running loose that the people revolted and threw the maharajah from power. This is the first known instance of the reign being called on account of the game.
A farmer was milking his cow. He was just starting to get a good rhythm going when a bug flew into the barn and started circling his head. Suddenly, the bug flew into the cow's ear. The farmer didn't think much about it, until the bug squirted out into his bucket. It went in one ear and out the udder.
There was a guy who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
As migration approached, two elderly vultures doubted they could make the trip south, so they decided to go by airplane. When they checked their baggage, the attendant noticed that they were carrying two dead raccoons. "Do you wish to check the raccoons through as luggage?" she asked. "No, thanks," replied the vultures. "They're carrion."
Queen Nyteshade had two claims to fame. She could tell fortunes and she was a midget. The local authorities frowned on her because they thought that fortune telling was fraudulent. They had Queeny arrested. She was placed in a holding cell. Since she was so small she was able to squeeze between the bars of her cell and escape. This to incensed the judge that he ordered the local newspaper to print an article about the culprit. The following was printed in the paper the next day. Small medium at large.
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Comments
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Page 1 of 9 pages 1 2 3 > Last › |
Citizen Premier
in spite of public outcry
Member
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Posted: Wed Apr 13, 2005 | 08:30 PM
Terrible. Simply terrible. I would never admit to laughing at those. |
Wendy
in Wellington NZ
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Posted: Wed Apr 13, 2005 | 09:03 PM
But what's the greatest pun of all time? - Attila the Pun.
(Made up by my partner's son, aged 12 at the time.) |
Smerk
in to mischief
Member
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Posted: Wed Apr 13, 2005 | 09:32 PM
A pun is it's own reword. |
Alex
in San Diego
Member
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Posted: Wed Apr 13, 2005 | 09:35 PM
Very punny. |
matt
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Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2005 | 07:00 AM
i thought that was funny. |
Razzle Berry
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Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2005 | 09:00 AM
Huh......those are just sad. |
LaMa
in Europe
Member
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Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2005 | 11:05 AM
Winona: will you tickle me please...? |
Winona
in USA
Member
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Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2005 | 11:11 AM
LOL, sure, but I can't reach that far! You'll have to move over a little. |
LaMa
in Europe
Member
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Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2005 | 11:13 AM
[moves over quite a little....] |
Winona
in USA
Member
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Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2005 | 11:14 AM
*jumps and tickles you till you are quite out of breath* Feel better? |
LaMa
in Europe
Member
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Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2005 | 11:21 AM
'h..'h..'h..'h..'H..'H..'H..'H..'H....YES! OWOOOOOOOOOWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!
ch-Cheez, you tickled the hell out of me. I was meaning you to tickle me untill I would laugh (as the puns would not do), not to tickle me to orgasmic heights....
Winoon, I am getting a strange warm feeling about you now.....
Say, can I inspect your tailflaps before we take off...?! |
LaMa
in Europe
Member
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Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2005 | 11:25 AM
And what happened to your avatar? |
Winona
in USA
Member
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Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2005 | 11:28 AM
LOLOL! |
Winona
in USA
Member
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Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2005 | 11:29 AM
My Av. is fine, isn't it? |
Charybdis
in Hell
Member
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Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2005 | 11:40 AM
Ah Ha! Thought you could get away with cheating on me, didn't you Winona?
LaMa I challenge you to a duel. Choose your weapon.
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Winona
in USA
Member
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Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2005 | 11:53 AM
lol! Chary, you know you're always first in my affectations. 
(punny, huh? at least I'm almost on topic) |
LaMa
in Europe
Member
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Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2005 | 12:49 PM
"Now, Charyb, take the 'villain' back again
That late thou gavest me; for Mercutio's soul
Is but a little way above our head
Staying for thine to keep him company:
Either thou, or I, or both, must go with him."
Romeo & Juliet III:1 |
LaMa
in Europe
Member
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Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2005 | 12:54 PM
And oh, Winoon honey; you're avatar somehow is not visible for me. |
Sharruma
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Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2005 | 01:19 PM
Is this a kissing book? |
LaMa
in Europe
Member
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Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2005 | 01:34 PM
It is, my dear.
Winona,
"O, speak again, bright angel! For thou art
As glorious to this night, being o'er my head,
As is a winged messenger of heaven
Unto the white-upturned wondering eyes
Of mortals that fall back to gaze on him,
When he bestrides the lazy-pacing clouds
And sails upon the bosom of the air."
Romeo & Juliet II:2 |
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Note: This thread is located in the Old Forum of the Museum of Hoaxes.
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