Nettie
in Perth, Western Australia
Member
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Posted: Sat Apr 09, 2005 | 03:38 AM
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool?
Bob
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pile of ldeaves?
Russel
What do you call a bind deer?
No eye deer
What do you call a blind deer with no legs?
Still no eye deer
I now apologise to all for putting you through that. |
Smerk
in to mischief
Member
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Posted: Sat Apr 09, 2005 | 03:50 AM
Hmmm...army fish come in tanks.
Toilets take the piss out of you.
Grow some dope - plant a man.
Why did God create Eve? She looked at Adam and thought "I can do better than that!"
😊 |
Smerk
in to mischief
Member
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Posted: Sat Apr 09, 2005 | 03:52 AM
Little Mary came home from school one day.
"Mum, Johnny's penis reminds me of peanuts!"
"Why? Is it because it's brown and wrinkly?" Mum replies.
"No! It tastes salty!"
Sorry... :red: |
Rod
in the land of smarties.
Member
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Posted: Sat Apr 09, 2005 | 04:25 AM
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs...
Hanging from a wall?
Art
Beside a fresh grave?
Doug (or Phil)
On the doorstep?
Matt
Damn, not little Johnny jokes, too, Smerk! |
Rod
in the land of smarties.
Member
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Posted: Sat Apr 09, 2005 | 04:27 AM
"Mommy, mommy, I don't WANT to visit Grandma!"
"Shut up and keep digging!" |
Rod
in the land of smarties.
Member
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Posted: Sat Apr 09, 2005 | 04:29 AM
Proof that god is NOT female...
Large breasts exist
No man is actually "hung like a horse"
Women get PMS, not men.
:lol: |
Winona
in USA
Member
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Posted: Sat Apr 09, 2005 | 08:38 AM
Rod's reminded my hubby of this one:
"Mommy, mommy, I wanna lick the bowl!"
"No, little Johnny, flush it like the other kids!" |
Ozymandias
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Posted: Sun Apr 10, 2005 | 03:46 PM
Two people in my programming class were trying to find the most tasteless/offensive joke they knew (the winning one started with "What does a Jew in a concentration camp and a pizza have in common?" Do not ask me for the punchline...please....). This was one of the results:
"What is strong enough for a man, but made for a woman?"
"The back of my hand. Now go back in and cook my pot roast!"
....I did not come up with that. Please don't think I did. |
Hairy Houdini
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Posted: Sun Apr 10, 2005 | 04:24 PM
"Behold my joke, ye mighty, and despair..." |
Katherine
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Posted: Sun Apr 10, 2005 | 05:12 PM
Ozymandias (nice name, by the way), should I be ashamed that I actually know the punchline to that one?
:shut: |
Sharruma
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Posted: Sun Apr 10, 2005 | 06:30 PM
I am deeply offended!
My Grandfather died in a concentration camp you know!!
He fell out his watchtower while reloading his rifle. |
Smerk
in to mischief
Member
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Posted: Sun Apr 10, 2005 | 06:56 PM
BTW, I blame Sharruma for the Little Johnny jokes, so here's another one.
Nursery school teacher says to her class, "Who can use the word 'Definitely' in a sentence?"
First a little girl says "The sky is definitely blue" Teacher says, "Sorry, Amy, but the sky can be gray, or orange..."
Second little boy..."Trees are definitely green" "Sorry, but in the autumn, the trees are brown."
Little Johnny from the back of the class stands up and asks:
"Does a fart have lumps?"
The teacher looks horrified and says..."Johnny! Of course not!!!"
"OK...then I DEFINITELY shit my pants..." |
Sharruma
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Posted: Sun Apr 10, 2005 | 07:22 PM
but but but
I don't know any little Johnny jokes
A little girl comes home from school on evening and tells her mother, 'David gave me a dollar if I'd do a handstand in the play ground.'
Her mother shook her head, 'you silly thing, he only wanted to see your knickers.'
'I'm not that silly, the girlie replied, 'I knew that and so I took them off first.' |
Smerk
in to mischief
Member
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Posted: Sun Apr 10, 2005 | 07:38 PM
But you used one to start of the thread! Although you didn't give the little girl & boy names, it's still essentially a Johnny joke. And it reminded me of one which I heard many years ago, but (un)fortunately can only remember the punchline... |
Smerk
in to mischief
Member
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Posted: Mon Apr 11, 2005 | 02:14 AM
What do you call a donkey with one eye?
A winky donkey.
What do you call a donkey with one eye and three legs?
A winky wonky donkey.
What do you call a donkey with one eye, three legs, and smells?
A winky wonky stinky donkey.
What do you call a donkey with one eye, three legs, smells and playing the piano?
A winky wonky stinky plinky plonky donkey.
What do you call a donky with one eye, three legs, smells, playing the piano and reading a book?
Genius! |
