Nettie
in Perth, Western Australia
Member
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Posted: Wed Apr 06, 2005 | 08:44 AM
It took me a very long time of uming and ering to press the submit button. I think Alex has opened a pandora's box with this catagory. So I'm blaming him!
:cheese: |
The Curator
in San Diego
Member
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Posted: Wed Apr 06, 2005 | 08:54 AM
That's okay, you can blame me. I did open this can of worms.
Actually, I've heard that joke before. I think there's a whole series of jokes like that, but I can't remember any of them. |
Nettie
in Perth, Western Australia
Member
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Posted: Wed Apr 06, 2005 | 08:59 AM
Bloody hell Alex, you're up early! No one is usually around when I am. Except perhaps Boo. You'd think Smerk would be but I think she does all her posting during the day at work.
Sigh.
I'm all alone... |
Nettie
in Perth, Western Australia
Member
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Posted: Wed Apr 06, 2005 | 09:05 AM
You have no idea how much I have been bagged for telling that joke. That's why I was a little hesitant about posting it. You never know who will read it. Like that one time I sorta told it to a rape victim...
Let's just say it didn't get a whole lot os laughs.
🙄 |
Boo
in The Land of the Haggii...
Member
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Posted: Wed Apr 06, 2005 | 09:13 AM
*waves*
nettie, m'dear, you are a sick bitch.
😜 |
X
in McKinney, TX
Member
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Posted: Wed Apr 06, 2005 | 09:20 AM
That was wrong.....But I have heard much worst. There is only one joke I heard that I will never repeat it is so wrong. |
Nettie
in Perth, Western Australia
Member
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Posted: Wed Apr 06, 2005 | 09:30 AM
Ah, go on |
Charybdis
in Hell
Member
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Posted: Wed Apr 06, 2005 | 09:34 AM
Yeah, I've got a joke like that - so wrong I can't post it here. I have to know somebody pretty well before I'll tell it to them. I never even told my last girlfriend and we've known each other for seven years. |
Maegan
in Tampa, FL - USA
Member
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Posted: Wed Apr 06, 2005 | 09:39 AM
...You sick bitch. Heh. Just kidding!
I'm from the south, I've heard lots and lots and lots of racist jokes that I wouldn't dare to repeat, even if I thought they were a little funny. If I change some words it would be funny, but wouldn't make sense...oh well. I can chuckle about them in the dark, I guess. |
Hairy Houdini
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Posted: Wed Apr 06, 2005 | 09:46 AM
A Leper goes into a bar on the Hottest Day of The Year. Everybody has their shirts off due to the heat, and the Leper takes off his shirt too. Now, it's so hot, the Leper is kinda chunking up, and getting kinda squishy, but he goes to the bar anyway and orders a beer. As he's sipping, he looks at a guy on a stool next to him, who is sneaking furtive glances in the Leper's direction. After getting a quick, strong look, the guy throws up on the bar... The Leper gets insulted, and says: "Excuse me, sorry I gross you out"... "No, no," the guy protests, it's not your fault"... The Leper gets even more pissed: "Well, if if it's not my fault, whose is it"? The guy on the stool swallows his sputum and gurgles: "It's the drunk guy behind you dipping potato chips in your back"... |
Winona
in USA
Member
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Posted: Wed Apr 06, 2005 | 09:49 AM
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW |
padego
Member
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Posted: Wed Apr 06, 2005 | 10:04 AM
Thanks for ruining my breakfast Hairy. |
X
in McKinney, TX
Member
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Posted: Wed Apr 06, 2005 | 10:56 AM
Hairy, that is on the top of my list for gross jokes. |
Kat
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Posted: Wed Apr 06, 2005 | 12:39 PM
Aww man, you guys are holding out on us!
So, ummm... how is Michael Jackson like caviar? |
Rod
in the land of smarties.
Member
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Posted: Wed Apr 06, 2005 | 12:51 PM
They both come on small white crackers.
I dunno which is sicker; the joke or the fact that I knew the answer.
:lol:
What do you get if you stand three blondes on their heads? |
Rod
in the land of smarties.
Member
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Posted: Wed Apr 06, 2005 | 12:53 PM
Oh, and on the Mikey Jokeson thingy...
When is bedtime at Neverland Ranch? |
Razzle Berry
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Posted: Wed Apr 06, 2005 | 02:24 PM
:S took me like twenty minutes to get it. then i didn't want it. |
Citizen Premier
in spite of public outcry
Member
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Posted: Wed Apr 06, 2005 | 03:46 PM
Hmm, what do you get when you cut the head off a baby?
An erection! |
Oggus Foo
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Posted: Wed Apr 06, 2005 | 04:56 PM
Please someone start a thread with all the dead baby jokes. One of my pledge brothers used to recite a hundred of them like he was reading out of the phonebook. Like, what's the difference between a trunkload of dead babies and a trunkload of bowling balls... you can move the babies easier with a pitchfork. What's pink and taps on glass, a baby in the microwave. |
Katherine
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Posted: Wed Apr 06, 2005 | 05:06 PM
I've heard that joke before, Nettie, only the punchline (which I think is worse!) was "The little boy locked in my closet."
Meep! |
Smerk
in to mischief
Member
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Posted: Wed Apr 06, 2005 | 06:42 PM
Sorry, Nettie. I found the vampire joke worse.
And here's my contribution:
There's a block of apartments. Gays are living in one apartment and lesbians in the other. One night, the block catches fire. Who's out first, the gays or lesbians?
The gays - they packed their shit the night before. |
Maegan
in Tampa, FL - USA
Member
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Posted: Thu Apr 07, 2005 | 09:55 AM
Rod...
3 brunettes. |
Maegan
in Tampa, FL - USA
Member
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Posted: Thu Apr 07, 2005 | 09:56 AM
P.S. If there is going to be a sick baby joke...It needs to have it's own thread with a warning. I'd appreciate it not getting in the middle of other sick jokes. |
Hairy Houdini
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Posted: Thu Apr 07, 2005 | 10:05 AM
I agree- those Dead Baby jokes are really insensitive. Can't people use more class and finesse? Look how tastefully I told my joke about The Hot Leper... who could get upset about that, aside from other Hot Lepers.. hey- cool band name: The Red Hot Chili Lepers... I amaze myself |
X
in McKinney, TX
Member
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Posted: Thu Apr 07, 2005 | 10:12 AM
I still know the worst Baby "Joke" ever told. I have yet to see anything on here come close to it. When I first heard it, I almost punched the guy. |
Hairy Houdini
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Posted: Thu Apr 07, 2005 | 10:28 AM
Okay, I admit it (DOGHUMPER). Making fun of people with Leprosy (LLAMALIPS) is kind of insensitive (BUTTLOVINGASSWEASEL). That's almost as bad (CRAPCHEWINGPICKLESUCKER) as making fun of people with Tourette's Syndrome (MONKEYSPANKINGTITNIBBLER), and I wouldn't do that, dammit |
Citizen Premier
in spite of public outcry
Member
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Posted: Thu Apr 07, 2005 | 07:28 PM
The Monkey Spanking Tit Nibbler sounds like a small song bird from Southern Papa New Guinea.
Oh, and most of the people I've told that baby joke to didn't get it. I'm not sure what's so tough about it. |
Citizen Premier
in spite of public outcry
Member
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Posted: Thu Apr 07, 2005 | 07:29 PM
What do you get when you cross a man with a wooden leg?
Splinters in your groin. |
Citizen Premier
in spite of public outcry
Member
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Posted: Thu Apr 07, 2005 | 09:36 PM
Q: What do you get when you cross a Catholic priest with a little boy?
A: Tomato soup!
This joke was made up by my sister, and was supposed to be a non-sequitor. But when I told it to my mom, she said 'tomato soup' meant bloody diarrhea. That mother of mine! |
Smerk
in to mischief
Member
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Posted: Thu Apr 07, 2005 | 09:47 PM
You want bad jokes from mothers? This one occured in conversation between me & mine: I'd been emailing my cousin who was going through a faze of saying that a beer and a curry were like a good lovin' woman. My mother replied, yeah, hot and wet! |
thunder
in England
Member
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Posted: Fri Apr 08, 2005 | 05:00 AM
Rod - 'When is bedtime at Neverland Ranch?'
When the big hand touches the little hand |
Rod
in the land of smarties.
Member
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Posted: Fri Apr 08, 2005 | 05:07 AM
What does an 80 year old woman's crotch taste like?
<a href="http://shop.store.yahoo.com/buyinprivate/depunbycasgr.html">Depends.</a>
What screams and can't turn corners in a house?
A baby with a spear through it. |
Rod
in the land of smarties.
Member
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Posted: Fri Apr 08, 2005 | 05:23 AM
Uhh, sorry Maegan.
Forgot you asked to leave the dead babies out of it, 'til I went back and read the thread again.
What did <a href="http://www.afb.org/braillebug/helen_keller_bio.asp">Helen Keller</a> say when she fell off the cliff?
Nothing, she had her mittens on. |
Smerk
in to mischief
Member
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Posted: Fri Apr 08, 2005 | 05:53 AM
Three chimpanzees escaped from the zoo. One was caught in the park, one was caught by the river, and the third....
Was caught reading this post! :cheese: |
Winona
in USA
Member
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Posted: Fri Apr 08, 2005 | 08:42 AM
Here is a groaner....
What do you do when your <a href="http://www.tampax.com/en_us/pages/prod_main.shtml?pageid=pd0005">Tampax</a> is on fire?
Tampon it. |
Razela
in Chicago, IL
Member
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Posted: Sun May 15, 2005 | 01:29 PM
citizen P, Am I just stupid? I've been staring at your catholic priest joke about 5 min and still don't get it! |
thunder
in England
Member
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Posted: Sun May 15, 2005 | 02:36 PM
hey me neither! im not the only one then thats good lol |
Citizen Premier
in spite of public outcry
Member
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Posted: Sun May 15, 2005 | 03:37 PM
You're not supposed to get it! It's uspposed to be one of those jokes that sounds like it's going to be offensive, but turns out to be nonsense.
My mother, however, assumed that it meant the boy had bloody diarrhea after sex with the priest. |
Razela
in Chicago, IL
Member
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Posted: Sun May 15, 2005 | 08:59 PM
Oh....well then I did get it! (by not getting it?)......now I've confused myself... |
Charybdis
in Hell
Member
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Posted: Sun May 15, 2005 | 10:10 PM
*pats Razela's head*
It's okay. I didn't get it either. And I'm not sure I do now.
😊 |
ErikPSO
Member
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Posted: Sun May 15, 2005 | 11:03 PM
Here is one of my favorites, it works better if you read it aloud:
Why did Helen Keller's dog kill itself?
You would too if you were named "Garihsopushnah." |
Baz
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Posted: Sat Nov 26, 2005 | 11:26 AM
I make no excuses for this..
What's the first thing you do after you've just raped a deaf, dumb and blind kid?
Cut it's fingers off so it can't tell it's mum! |
SMS Break Up Messages
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Posted: Fri May 16, 2008 | 09:05 AM
uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.......That's a really sick joke. My i post this on my blog. |
