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Michael Jackson dead & replaced
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Posted By:
Glamcat
Mar 20, 2005
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http://www.theonion.com/news/index.php?issue=4111
Forget Paul, now here's a story I can believe!
I've long suspected that Michael was replaced by something, I don't know, an alien prehaps?
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Comments
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Page 4 of 6 pages ‹ First < 2 3 4 5 6 > |
Maya
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Posted: Sat Aug 13, 2005 | 09:44 AM
talk ppl |
Maya
in i donnu
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Posted: Sat Aug 13, 2005 | 09:46 AM
i love mj :D
u can't make fun of him oh and talk ppl :D  :(  |
STE5HNTGBTYUTFCXXXXXXXXXCTGHBN
in rtgf
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Posted: Sat Aug 13, 2005 | 09:47 AM
:D |
ytrgfx
in rtgf
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Posted: Sat Aug 13, 2005 | 09:48 AM
:strong |
skillless
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Posted: Sun Aug 14, 2005 | 11:26 AM
http://anomalies-unlimited.com/Jackson.html
If you all wondered about his face ... heres a good site ... and yea, the news had been removed for some reasons (which i am lazy to guess). And if you want there full report, here it is:
SANTA BARBARA, CA - During a search for evidence at the Neverland Valley Ranch, investigators discovered a corpse that has been identified as that of Michael Jackson, Santa Barbara police officials announced Tuesday.
"Coroners have officially pronounced Michael Jackson dead. From what we can tell, he died between 18 and 20 years ago," forensic investigator Tim Holbrooke said. "We are not certain, at this time, who - or what - has been standing trial in that Santa Maria courthouse."
According to Holbrooke, Jackson's corpse was buried just inches below a stretch of the miniature-train tracks that run throughout Neverland. The largely desiccated corpse wore the remains of a red, zipper-covered leather jacket and a single glove.
"We positively identified the body as Jackson by his dental records and DNA," Holbrooke said. "But even before we conducted a single forensic test, we began to suspect that that we'd uncovered the real Michael, and that the disturbing figure claiming to be Jackson was a fake."
Holbrooke said that, although the corpse was in an advanced stage of decomposition, when investigators compared the body to early-career publicity photos of Jackson, they saw a striking resemblance in bone structure and facial features. But when they compared the body to photos taken after 1987, the resemblance was negligible.
"This discovery raises a lot of questions, but it also sheds light on a number of disturbing incidents," Holbrooke said. "Frankly, Jackson had been acting pretty strange."
Forensic experts and music critics are postulating that Jackson was dead before the release of the multi-platinum album Bad. Detectives are currently analyzing the lyrics to "Man In The Mirror" for any clues relating to a look-alike entity that many suspect murdered the youngest member of the Jackson 5 and assumed his identity.
"We believe that Neverland served as some sort of freakishly whimsical tomb constructed by Jackson's killer," Holbrooke said. "We also suspect that all of the iniquities that occurred on that ranch were the work of the imposter. I wouldn't have ever thought it possible, but we are looking at a situation where the sexual abuse of a 13-year-old cancer patient is the tip of the iceberg."
Holbrooke said that, while the living Jackson is the leading suspect in the murder investigation, he "could be another victim of some sort."
"Basically, we have no idea what type of creature we are dealing with," Holbrooke said.
A member of the investigative team that discovered Jackson's body described the experience as "otherworldly."
"As we neared the perimeter of Neverland, the dogs started whining and howling like crazy," Santa Barbara County detective Frank Poeller said. "We had to pull them into the house. When we got to Jackson's bedroom, one of them almost choked himself to death on his leash trying to get out through the window. Minutes later, the same dog led us to the corpse."
A representative from Jackson's self-created label, MJJ Productions, said he was not surprised to find out that the current Jackson is an imposter.
"When we were recording 'Heal The World' for Dangerous,
I could tell something was terribly, terribly wrong," MJJ manager Luke Allard
said. "Michael didn't seem like himself anymore. He'd demand bizarre food and sit for hours in a hyperbaric chamber. His appearance began to become more and more peculiar. Soon afterwards, he started wearing a mask and confiding in a chimpanzee."
"I remember thinking, 'This man has become a monster,'" Allard said. "If only I'd known how right I was." |
skillless
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Posted: Sun Aug 14, 2005 | 11:28 AM
Allard said he thinks that the imposter broke ties with Jackson's former friends and surrounded himself with children who were too young to notice the radical change.
Vanity Fair reporter Beth Pither visited Neverland in 1994.
"A strangely fearful staff member led me to Jackson, but ran off before I opened the door," Pither said. "Standing there with my hand on an ice-cold doorknob, I heard strange, unnatural sounds?eathery wings flapping, a sorrowful wail, and loud hissing. A wave of dread passed through me as I opened the door, but all I found was Michael and some kids in pajamas eating ice
cream and watching 101 Dalmatians."
While their claims have not been corroborated, other Neverland visitors have reported that when when Jackson entered a room, lights flickered, faucets ran blood-red, and screams escaped from the walls.
To aid in the investigation, the FBI enlisted Dr. Richard Weingarden, a noted expert on the paranormal from UC Santa Barbara. After only two hours, Weingarden abandoned the project.
"The smell of sulfur, the decaying facial features, the bizarrely high-pitched voice?t sounds exactly like..." Weingarden said, trailing off. "I'm sure it's nothing. Not a big deal. Nothing to be terrified about, certainly. I have to go. I've got a family."
Thomas Sneddon, the prosecutor in Jackson's child-molestation lawsuit, said it remains to be seen how the shocking discovery will affect the trial.
Megan Gustafson, who left her post as president of the Akron, OH Michael Jackson Fan Club after the singer was accused of molestation, offered a positive view of the grisly revelation.
"This is very disturbing news," Gustafson said. "But to be honest, it's kind of a relief too. Thriller and Off The Wall are really amazing records. Now I can pull them out of my 'ruined by child abuse' storage bin and start listening to them again."
-End-
and here are some pictures (hope the links are working)
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Winona
in USA
Member
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Posted: Sun Aug 14, 2005 | 12:44 PM
You know a person has just got love that one pic with the gloved hand sticking up from the body bag. lol
The Onion is one of my favorite papers. And everything inside is true, you know.  |
skillless
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Posted: Mon Aug 15, 2005 | 07:40 AM
Well ... i am not in the position to judge whether this is true or not ... cause i got this from a secondary source (as the one in onion was deleted). But really, if its real, it should be all over the news. But don't forget, this article got deleted soon after it was posted to the public, and this might be an evidance to show that its real, and who ever got rid of the post, has a lot of influance and power. However, when you look at the picture with the corp and hand sticking out, dosn't it look like a photoshoped pic? I mean ... why are there only one cop down there zipping the bag? And the contrast between the background and the main object is just too big, different in a sense, that it look as if it was two pic and was pasted together. Anyway, believe it or not, its up to you, but if you are looking at the pic for clue, forget it. But the article is another story ... O well ... its really up to you to believe it or not ... and sorry for the broken english |
Punklegend
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Posted: Sun Aug 28, 2005 | 10:31 PM
The answer lies here folks!
Pharaohofpop.com |
aschanell bowman
in Fort Walton beach FL.
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Posted: Sat Dec 17, 2005 | 11:07 PM
Michael Jackson is not dead he is alive i really love him but when i heard that he was dead i started to cry im 11years old and i am a fan of him If u got to say somthin to say to me that is bad email me at .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) dont hate jane just appreciate bitch asshole i`ll heart you so bad u will be gone BITCH ASSHOLE |
cass
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Posted: Sat Apr 01, 2006 | 03:30 PM
I was going on random sites, digging dirt about random people, so i choose Jacko. When I read that article about him being dead over 18 years ago I totally freaked! So i googled 'Micheal Jackson is Dead' and came up with a story dated April 1st 2006, (i was shifty, because i wasn't sure if it was a joke or not, but the Global Associated News published it about 10 minutes ago)(to see the article go to http://michael.jackson.swellserver.com/news/top_stories/musician-overdose.php) that said Jacko had just died of overdose.
How can it be true? or is just an april fools joke to get us all worked up?
Reply back and tell me what you think.
xxxx,
cass |
samiam
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Posted: Sat Apr 01, 2006 | 03:42 PM
cass, sorry its all a hoax. |
Nia Doaks
in North Carolina
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Posted: Mon Apr 03, 2006 | 10:31 AM
I really, really hope that they are wrong, because im only 10 and i absolutely posetively love Michael Jackson. He is my idle!!! |
Camillia Mickens
in Texas
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Posted: Fri May 26, 2006 | 09:49 AM
u need 2 leave him alone, u know d*** well that my michael ain't dead, if so , how and why does his voice sound the same, his figure is the same, talk the same, and that so called body of him, is something they was planted in his house so they could get him back 2 the U.S., so they could accuse him of child molestation again. Who ever made that up is a cold blooded Mother F*****, and if I ever see or find out who made that bull**** up, im'a beat yo' a**, and that's not a threat it's a F*****' promise, LEAVE MY MICHAEL JACKSON ALONE, HE IS NOT DEAD, and u better stop callin' him a creature and a Freak and a monster, he is a god d*** man, stupid, and if I could get on National T.V. i would curse all of yall envy a**'s out, but u'll get what'z coming 2 u, u can bet on that, B****, so u better shut the H*** up. |
domonique
in belmont,mississippi
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Posted: Tue Jul 04, 2006 | 09:20 PM
first of all micheal is not dead and he cannot be replaced he is fanomal i love micheal jackson and all these people who are dissin him can go to hell bc he has not done ne thing to yall and he did not melest or rape ne body |
founda
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Posted: Fri Jul 14, 2006 | 07:33 AM
mical jackson is deaddd |
mjfan
in england
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Posted: Fri Dec 01, 2006 | 10:45 PM
michael jackson aint dead and whoever did this hoax is bloody mental!!! what sort of person finds someone being dead a laugh?! anyone that does think its funny is sick in the head and i feel for ya!!! im a big fan of mj and so are many others! people should stop critising him and look at their own f****** lifes coz i bet their not perfect! mj can live how he wants and if someone finds this sort of thing funny they should be seriously worried about themselvs!! mj is a legend and always will be!!! people who think this is a laugh are just f****** sick wierdos and should be more worried about their own mental health!!! luv ya michael!!! xxx |
Angie Holtt
in MO
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Posted: Sun Jan 21, 2007 | 10:25 AM
I HAVE RECENTLY FOUND OUT THAT MICHEAL JACKSON IS 'ALIVE'. IT WAS JUST A HOAX, OR CELEBRITY GOSSIP! |
jess
in foxboro
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Posted: Mon Feb 26, 2007 | 03:29 PM
it is FAKE! he's not really dead! the onion doesn't give real stories, all just hoax |
John
in California
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Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2007 | 07:53 PM
the onion is a hoax site gee! and some morons believe its true. go here:
http://www.mischel.com/diary/2001/07/25.htm
it talks about hoax and parody sites. and u think they'd charge him with other fake child molestation charges and millions of dollars for nothing? and they'd get some1 else who looks a little like him, have the same dna, can dance like him, and have the same voice!
stop picking on him! he never raped anyone! if ur dumb and didn't know all the charges were dropped 2005. |
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