Now you can get more energy from a patch! I especially like the way that
they "believe" that it works. It is also based on years of research from
many fields. While the research may be valid, I'm not sure that their
results were intended to be used with a "patent pending blend of water,
oxygen, amino acids and organics applied to a polyester fabric and sealed
within a polymer shell".
I wouldn't touch that stuff if "THEY" made it.
"THEY" are allways trying to find out new ways of getting me.
JoeSixpack Member
Posted: Thu Feb 24, 2005 | 12:07 PM
WOW, what an impressive body of evidence they have there!!! I was especially impressed by he conclusion of the double blind clinical trial,"...The LIFEWAVE GROUP experienced an average improvement in repetitions from Monday to Thursday of 34%." I'll bet if the IOC doesn't step up to the plate here we're gonna' see a lot of Olympic records SHATTERED! I mean, a 34% improvement for a sprinter is over 3 seconds in the 100 meter!
Wait, do you smell something? It's a familiar smell, like something from...a rose garden, but it's not roses...Hmmmmm. I think it's FERTELIZER! The natural kind. The kind that bulls make.
This putative study was done by a Dr. Steven Haltiwanger, MD CCN (the CCN is for "certified clinical nutritionist', I looked that up). The good doctor only seems to Google up (so to speak) on web pages that have something to do with Lifewave products.
That seemed odd.
One site had a bit of his Bio. Apparently he's been an"Orthomolecular Board Certified Psychiatrist for 17 years" WTF is the "Orthomolecular Board"? Well, they seem to only come up in close association with Dr. Nick Rive--oh excuse me, Dr.Haltiwanger. Smelling fishey yet?
But wait, there's more. The doctor is also "Adjunct Professor of the Capital University of Integrated Medicine". An (ahem) institution that is, according to Quackwatch.org, a "nonaccredited school headquartered in Washington, D.C., .... Its offerings include "Doctor of Integrated Medicine" and "Master of Integrated Health Science" ... It appears to have closed in 2003. "
And guess what...It's an MLM! That's right! we can all get rich by selling this and (most importantly) getting others to sell it for us! So not only will we be super athletes, we'll be rich as hell too!
Well, I'm not spending a dime on this shit until they prove to me that it'll help in my quest for DNA perfection... otherwise is meaningless. Also, I'd need Natasha to look inside my body while taking it to confirm that it's actually working! Satisfy those two requirements and I'm on board...
I'll buy some of your blood, but only because I want to clone the worlds first blogger, increase his attractiveness, see if I can feed him to an animal and then skip work to go to his funeral.
I don't really know how to respond to that, so consider this my response.
mikey
in georgia
Posted: Sun Apr 03, 2005 | 06:07 PM
hi--- ive had personal experience with this "Dr" Haltiwanger and yes he was a psychiatrist in valdosta georgia at a treatment facility named greenleaf--- he was supposedly out to help everyone and was the main doc. Dr. H was really big on natural meds as well as psychotropics and all and I mean all of his patients ended up with about 2 cupfuls of pills to take every night. To give you an example of how health conscious this man really is he had me on Mellaril, lithium, tegretol, ativan, klonpin, risperdal, effexor and thyrolar ervery day in addition to the 8 vitamins that he had me on. Now let me tell those of you who do not know but the vitamins may have been good for me but all those others were a chemical lobotomy. I have depression nothing more. By the way, this Dr. H who touts himself to be so high and mighty and upstanding?;
his license is currently on probation in georgia for self prescribing injectible demerol and a few other naughty things. You can read the public board order against him on the georgia medical board web site. thought you all might like this info guys
Mikey, if true, that's simply amazing--and appalling. You should contact your state's medical board and notify them of the cocktail of drugs this guy (allegedly) had you on. I say "allegedly" because I have no way of knowing if what you are saying is true. I'm not calling you a liar, please understand, but I don't have first-hand knowledge of what you are saying.
Anyway, if your story is accurate, seriously, you really should let the state know about what this guy did to you and others. That's hardly a standard treatment for simple depression.
matt
Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2005 | 03:54 AM
im not going to say anything. Im going to buy just a month of supply give it to my pe teacher and have him test the stuff out on himself first. And if he says that its ok ill give the rest to the whole soccer team next year and do a test on it with the help of my biology teacher. Guys give me 4-5 months and i'll give you proof myself. I am a student myself and my dad told me about this. My dad was and is kind of still in mlm and thats how he heard of it. I did cross country, and softball and i'm currently paying rugby. right now i run about an average of 2400 or 6 laps of 400 meters in 12 mins and i have one of the patches with me. im expecting at least a 20% improvement, thats about 7 laps or 2880 meters. i'll do the test next monday and report to you guys what i got.
Just a random guy
in in a hospital, out of a long coma Member
Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2005 | 05:35 AM
I like how it has Sean May right on the page, but doesn't say anything about him using the product at all
I think that this site is a manufactured project from the atoms of a crock of S***.
I do not know how they work, I just know that they do. I was a professional hockey player and I am a coach for the Dallas Stars, and I can tell you they work.
I have worn them in games and there is an immediate difference. I have let other players try them and they had more energy. I am one of the most skeptical people out there, and I do not beleive in chi and crap like that. All I know is that for me and my players they work.
"I do not know how they work, I just know that they do. I was a professional hockey player and I am a coach for the Dallas Stars, and I can tell you they work.
"I have worn them in games and there is an immediate difference. I have let other players try them and they had more energy. I am one of the most skeptical people out there, and I do not beleive in chi and crap like that. All I know is that for me and my players they work."
Dan, if you know anything about scientific research, you know that anecdotal accounts mean little or nothing. The fact that you don't believe in chi (good for you by the way) doesn't mean that you can't be swayed by the placebo effect.
Tell you what. If you honestly think these things relieve pain or whatever, you should immediately contact the James Randi Educational Foundation at randi.org. The Foundation has a million-dollar prize I believe you would be able to collect if you can demonstrate that these stupid things work under controlled conditions.
You risk nothing and you stand to gain a million dollars. Pretty good deal, huh? Go for it! Be prepared, however, to have your faith in this quackery proven wrong.
I apreciate you for not slaming me for my belief. I really did not beleive that they worked until I tried them, and I do not know how they do. You are right, it very well could be a placebo effect, but there is an immediate and atleast it feels like a real diffence in my players.
"I apreciate you for not slaming me for my belief. I really did not beleive that they worked until I tried them, and I do not know how they do. You are right, it very well could be a placebo effect, but there is an immediate and atleast it feels like a real diffence in my players."
Shucks, I didn't slam you because you weren't a jerk. I think you're wrong but that doesn't make you a bad guy.
After all, these things are advertised and designed to make you think that they work, so I can hardly blame someone for being fooled by them. Please understand that I don't mean to insult you by my use of the word "fooled." If anyone's at fault here, it's the people who make this crap and sell it to the public.
But seriously, you should consider applying for the JREF Prize. After all, either the things don't work, in which case you'd be doing a service to the public by informing them of that fact or they DO work, in which case science will be advanced by learning what the mechanism is.
Either way, good luck with your team.
Captain Al
in Alberta, Canada Member
Posted: Sat Apr 16, 2005 | 09:42 PM
If Cranky Media Guy won't insult him, I will. I think Dan has taken one too many pucks in the head. Now he's having delusions about being a professional hockey coach. Maybe the Dallas Stars just forgot to include him in their list of coaches on the team's web site. Dallas Stars
Click on: The Stars/Coaches
"If Cranky Media Guy won't insult him, I will. I think Dan has taken one too many pucks in the head. Now he's having delusions about being a professional hockey coach. Maybe the Dallas Stars just forgot to include him in their list of coaches on the team's web site."
My uncharacteristically sweet demeanor was based on the fact that he didn't act like a flaming douchebag. If, however, he is a phony, well, that's a different story.
Hey, maybe the patches cause a "reality distortion field" using vibrations or something, making people think they are in professional sports.
