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HIPPO EATS DWARF:
A Field Guide to Hoaxes
and Other B.S.

Wolpertingers come in many varieties, but, generally speaking, they are small mammals with a body resembling that of a rabbit or squirrel, but also having antlers, fangs, and feathered wings. Occasionally they have the webbed feet of a duck.

Wolpertingers are usually found in the forests of Bavaria. (It is common for Bavarian pubs to display stuffed wolpertingers.) Variant regional spellings of the name include Wolperdinger, Woipertinger, and Volpertinger. They are part of a larger family of horned mammals that exist throughout the Germanic regions of Europe, such as the Austrian Raurackl (which is basically identical to the wolpertinger), the Thuringian Rasselbock (which looks more like the American jackalope), and the north Hessian Dilldapp (kind of hamster-like). They're also related to the Swedish Skvader, as well as being a European cousin of the Jackalope.

Images of creatures resembling wolpertingers have been found in woodcuts and engravings dating back to the 17th century. However, there's debate over whether these are images of wolpertingers or of rabbits infected by the Shope papillomavirus (a virus that causes bony tumors to grow on the rabbit's head and body).

The best way to catch a Wolpertinger, according to legend, is to be a beautiful young woman (or be in the company of one), since Wolpertingers have a weakness for female beauty. The woman should go out into a forest at night while the moon is full and find a secluded nook where a Wolpertinger is likely to be. Hopefully, the creature will soon reveal itself. When it does the woman should expose her breasts. This will cause the Wolpertinger to instantly fall into a stupor, allowing it to easily be bagged.
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