The Tall-Tale Creature Archive
'Tall-Tale Creature-ology' is a branch of Natural History dedicated to the study of fauna and flora possessing properties of a fantastic and remarkable nature. It is distinct from its close cousin Cryptozoology, which is the study of creatures that prefer to remain hidden. The Museum of Hoaxes neither denies nor confirms the existence of any of the creatures listed below.

In Sweden, its native land, the White Russian Shore Muddler is known as the "Vitrysk Strandmuddlare." It is found in the region of Zscicvzoskaija. The shore-muddler first came to the attention of the general public when it was displayed in the Göteborg Museum on April 1, 1960. The creature is remarkable because it appears to combine the head of a baby pig, the tail of a squirrel, and the feet of a water fowl.

Wolpertingers come in many varieties, but, generally speaking, they are small mammals with a body resembling that of a rabbit or squirrel, but also having antlers, fangs, and feathered wings. Occasionally they have the webbed feet of a duck.

Wolpertingers are usually found in the forests of Bavaria. (It is common for Bavarian pubs to display stuffed wolpertingers.) Variant regional spellings of the name include Wolperdinger, Woipertinger, and Volpertinger. They are part of a larger family of horned mammals that exist throughout the Germanic regions of Europe, such as the Austrian Raurackl (which is basically identical to the wolpertinger), the Thuringian Rasselbock (which looks more like the American jackalope), and the north Hessian Dilldapp (kind of hamster-like). They're also related to the Swedish Skvader, as well as being a European cousin of the Jackalope.

Images of creatures resembling wolpertingers have been found in woodcuts and engravings dating back to the 17th century. However, there's debate over whether these are images of wolpertingers or of rabbits infected by the Shope papillomavirus (a virus that causes bony tumors to grow on the rabbit's head and body).

The best way to catch a Wolpertinger, according to legend, is to be a beautiful young woman (or be in the company of one), since Wolpertingers have a weakness for female beauty. The woman should go out into a forest at night while the moon is full and find a secluded nook where a Wolpertinger is likely to be. Hopefully, the creature will soon reveal itself. When it does the woman should expose her breasts. This will cause the Wolpertinger to instantly fall into a stupor, allowing it to easily be bagged.

A 1928 monograph written by Augustus C. Fotheringham introduced the scientific community to the curious bird known as the Woofen-Poof (aka Eoörnis pterovelox gobiensis).

Woofen-poofs, which are native to the Gobi Desert, are approximately 17 centimeters in length, have a long beak below which hangs a pendulous pouch, and possess extremely short, semi-circular wings. Their rapid wing-beat produces a distinctive musical sound as they fly, "three octaves above middle C." Small, sandy-brown feathers help to disguise them in the desert. But perhaps the bird's strangest feature is its smooth and glossy appearance, almost like polished metal, on account of "the presence of enormous numbers of active sebaceous glands on all parts of the body."

The unusual name, "woofen-poof," appears to derive from the sound made by the creature as it alights into the air to begin flying: "a 'woof' or 'whiz' in the air, followed by a 'poof' or 'shush' made by the bird's feet in striking the loose desert sand."

Although normally placid by nature, the woofen-poof can be roused quickly to anger when it senses a threat. When angry, it flies at its opponents at high speed, using its closed beak as a deadly weapon.

A persistent rumor suggests that "Augustus C. Fotheringham" was actually a pseudonym for L.W. Sharp of the Botanical Society of America. In addition, skeptics have noted that the woofen-poof bears an uncanny resemblance to the hood ornament of an automobile.