Web Hoax Museum

	The toilet monster! Your wife will never yell at you about leaving the seat up again! Not recommended for those with a weak heart. Watch video demo.
	The Covert Clicker. Secretly control the TV, anywhere, any time! Picture a crowded sports bar on Super Bowl Sunday. With seconds left on the clock - CLICK! - the TV channel changes to the Home and Garden Television network!
	Carpool Kenny! An inflatable passenger for the carpool lane. Just inflate him and you’re good to go!
	Fanny Bank! A farting piggy bank. Drop some loot and hear it toot! Saving your pennies will be a gas.
	Slip On Tattoo Sleeves Amaze your friends, shock your spouse, or co-workers. The tattoo is printed directly on stretchable fabric sleeves made of machine washable nylon.
	George Bush Toilet Paper Sit down, relax, and enjoy. Individually shrink-wrapped. With classic quotes: "They misunderestimated me." "Bring 'em on!"
Lots of other stuff: Hilarious T-Shirts — Bizarre Garden Gnomes — Car Pranks — Classic Pranks — Workplace Office Humor — Darwin / Jesus Fish Plaques

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MISCELLANEOUS Main Page (Weblog) Forum Register Login Recent Comments Weblog Categories RSS Feed 2.0 Search (old forum) About the Museum About the Curator Contact HOAXES BY ERA Before 1700 1700-1799 1800-1868 1869-1913 1914-1949 1950-1976 1977-1989 1990-1999 After 2000

APRIL FOOL'S DAY Top 100 April Fools Hoaxes Top 10 Worst April Fools History of April Fools Day GALLERIES Hoax Websites Hoax Photos Top 10 College Pranks Birth Hoaxes Tall-Tale Creatures TESTS AND QUIZZES Hoax Photo Test 1 Hoax Photo Test 2 Hoax Photo Test 3 Hoax Photo Test 4 Gullibility Test 1 Gullibility Test 2 April Fools Test Christmas Test BOOKS BY ALEX Elephants on Acid (2007) Hippo Eats Dwarf (2006) Museum of Hoaxes (2002)

HOAX MUSEUM T-SHIRTS

'Tall-Tale Creature-ology' is a venerable branch of Natural History dedicated to the study of fauna and flora possessing properties of a fantastic and remarkable nature. It should be distinguished from its close cousin Cryptozoology, which is the study of creatures that prefer to remain hidden. The Museum of Hoaxes would like to go on record stating that it neither denies nor confirms the existence of any of the creatures listed below.

The wild Haggis (plural: Haggi) lives in the highlands of Scotland. It is round, four-legged, fur-covered, and usually less than a foot in length (comparable in size to a grouse). It is a shy creature, rarely seen, and for this reason there is great disagreement about its exact morphology and habits. For instance, many who claim to be Haggis experts say that the legs of the Haggis are longer on one side of its body than the other, in order to allow it to better stand on the steep slopes of the highlands. As a consequence, the haggis can only run around hills in one direction, and to catch one you simply run around the hill in the opposite direction. If true, this morphological feature would make the Haggis a cousin of the American Sidehill Gouger. However, other Haggis observers deny this to be true, insisting that all the legs of the Haggis are of equal length.

Some Haggis-ologists speculate that the Haggis is related to the Australian duck-billed platypus, being a descendant of migratory platypuses who found themselves trapped in Scotland during the last ice age and evolved to become highly adapted to its cold, damp weather.

To catch a Haggis it is advised to disguise your scent with liberal amounts of whisky, and then adopt a stumbling gait, swerving from side to side, so that the animal won't see you coming. Many stores in Scotland also sell Haggis Whistles. It is claimed that "in skilled hands this whistle can perfectly mimic the mating call of the Haggis."

It is sometimes said that Haggis is actually a traditional Scottish dish made from the heart, liver, and lungs of a sheep, mixed with oatmeal, suet, and seasonings, and boiled in the stomach of the animal. This is simply not true. The Hodag (also known as the Bovine Spiritualis) is native to Wisconsin. In fact, it is the official symbol of Rhinelander, Wisconsin where the first one was captured by Eugene Shepard in 1896. Its name comes from combining the words "horse" and "dog."

The Hodag has the head of a bull, the back of a dinosaur, and the leering features of a giant man. Its legs are short, its claws are long, and its tail is spear-tipped. It is a supernatural beast which, in its first life, took the form of an ox that belonged to Paul Bunyan. Upon its death, the ox was burned for seven years to cleanse it of the profanity of its master. But seven years was not long enough. The soul of the ox emerged from the ashes in the shape of a Hodag, exuding a foul odor. The diet of the Hodag is very simple. It only eats white bulldogs, "and those only on Sundays."

For many years Shepard displayed his Hodag at country fairs. The exhibition usually occurred in dim light, and according to malicious rumors what was actually exhibited was a large dog over which a horse's hide had been stretched, but such rumors have never been substantiated.

Jack Cory, editor of the Rhinelander Daily News, once hypothesized that the Hodag was "the long-sought missing link between the ichthyosaurus and the mylodoan" of the Ice Age. Sightings of hoop snakes have been reported since colonial times in North America and for at least the past century in Australia. This snake grasps its tail in its mouth and rolls after its prey, thereby achieving great speed, especially when going downhill. Hoop snakes have been clocked going over 60 m.p.h. At the tip of its tail is a highly venomous stinger, making this a creature to be avoided at all costs. It is the only species of snake known to have a stinger on its tail, and this stinger is so poisonous that even if it strikes a tree, the tree will instantly wither, turn black, and die.

If you should encounter a hoop snake in the wild, the best defense is to run as fast as you can and hope to find a fence to leap over. The hoop snake will have to uncoil to get through the fence, thereby slowing it down. Some have reported that diving through the hoop of the snake will cause it to run away. This, however, has never been verified. Hotheaded naked ice borers are a small, molelike species that is unusually adapted to life in the Antarctic. Bony plates on their head fed by numerous blood vessels radiate large amounts of heat, allowing these creatures to burrow through solid ice at high speeds. They feed on penguins whom they attack by rapidly melting the ice beneath them, causing the hapless birds to fall down into the slush. The ice borers then kill their prey by ripping it apart with their sharp teeth. This animal was discovered by wildlife biologist April Pazzo in the early 1990s, and first reported in Discover magazine on April 1, 1995. Dr. Pazzo speculated that hotheaded naked ice borers may have been responsible for the mysterious death of polar explorer Philippe Poisson in 1837. Ice worms are cold-loving creatures that live inside glaciers. If it is cold enough outside they will crawl out of their holes in order to bask in the frigidity. As they bask they make a chirping sound that is loud enough to keep awake anyone trying to sleep nearby.

Ice worms were first described in 1898 by E.J. "Stroller" White, a journalist for the Klondike Nugget in Dawson (located in the Yukon). Thanks to his account of them, ice worms became a local attraction in Dawson. Residents went on expeditions to find them, carefully listening for their characteristic chirping, and bartenders in town began serving a drink called 'Ice Worm Cocktails.' These were prepared by pulling a long skinny worm out of a piece of ice and dropping it into a customer's drink. Some skeptics suggested that the bartenders were actually pulling pieces of spaghetti out of blocks of ice, and in a few cases this allegation may have been correct since many bartenders were known to pass off fake ice worms on ignorant out-of-towners who didn't know what the real thing looked like.

The ice worms described by "Stroller" White are a whimsical cousin of ice-living worm species, such as Mesenchytraeus solifugus, studied by mainstream scientists. The kind of ice worms studied by scientists, besides having a firmer footing in reality, are not known to chirp. The jackalope is an antlered species of rabbit found throughout the western United States. The jackalope has two unusual qualities. First, it is highly aggressive and is willing to use its antlers to fight. (Thus, it is sometimes called the "warrior rabbit.") Second, it has an uncanny ability to mimic human voices. In the old West, when cowboys would gather by their campfires to sing at night, jackalopes would frequently be heard singing back, mimicking the voices of the cowboys. When chased, jackalopes use their vocal abilities to elude capture by calling out phrases such as, "There he goes, over there," to throw pursuers off their track.

The traditional method of catching jackalopes is to lure them with whiskey, since they are extremely fond of this drink. Once intoxicated, the animal becomes slower and easier to hunt. Some people attempt to catch jackalopes in order to milk them, believing that their milk is a powerful aphrodisiac. However, it is not advised to milk a jackalope! It is curious to note, however, that jackalope milk comes out already homogenized on account of the animal's powerful leaps.

Douglas, Wyoming has declared itself to be the Jackalope capital of America because, according to legend, the first jackalope was spotted there around 1829. A large statue of a jackalope stands in the town center, and every year the town plays host to Jackalope Day, usually held in June. Jackalope hunting licenses can be obtained from the Douglas Chamber of Commerce, though hunting of jackalopes is restricted to the hours of midnight to 2 a.m. on June 31.

It is common to find mounted jackalope heads in bars and homes throughout the American west. Douglas and Ralph Herrick, residents of Douglas, Wyoming, were the first to start selling such heads during the 1930s. Jackalope postcards are also a popular Western souvenir. "Jumpin' Yuccy" is the popular name given to Schuss-Yucca, a variety of chaparral yucca found throughout the southwestern United States. "Schuss-yucca" derives from the German word "schuss," meaning to shoot up, a reference to this plant's amazing ability to grow a stalk ten to twenty feet high, blossom, and then die, all within a matter of minutes or even seconds.

Botanist Gustav Albrecht provided the first conclusive scientific evidence of the existence of this plant and its remarkable growth cycle in a series of photographs taken at one-second intervals (reproduced below) that accompanied his October 1952 article published in Scientific Monthly. Albrecht noted that, "Scientists today realize that anything is possible, whether Schuss-yuccas or extra-terrestrial flying saucers—particularly when reported by trained and reliable observers and accompanied by good photographs."

In his article Albrecht also debunked some popular myths about the Jumpin' Yuccy, such as the legend that the famous Spanish desperado and cattle rustler Vasquez met an untimely end when he leapt over a Jumpin' Yuccy just as it was beginning its growth cycle. Albrecht pointed out that this was highly unlikely since the stem of the Jumpin' Yuccy is soft, "like a giant asparagus." Therefore, it "could not reasonably be expected to harm a full-grown Spaniard."


The Manchurian Miniature Water Buffalo is a dwarf species of buffalo that only stands a few inches tall, fully grown. It is recorded that Emperor Hi Lee Sung kept one in his garden for 47 years. More recently this species has been rumored to be extinct, though it is possible they are being secretly bred since Manchurian miniature water buffalo horns, which are highly prized, can still sometimes be found in Chinese markets throughout the world. These horns should not be confused with the flowering leaves of the Ling Jiao water chestnut, also sold in many Chinese markets, although the two are, in fact, identical. The sale of Manchurian miniature water buffalo horns in a Canadian store was reported by Maureen O'Dea in the Victoria Star in October 1988. Her report caused much outrage among animal-rights activists and launched an effort to ban the sale of its horns. The Oo-er bird, which makes its home in Australia, has one remarkable quality. It lays square eggs. Its name comes from the sound it makes every time it lays one: "oo-er!"

Although few details are known about the Oo-er, we know more about the Fatu-Liva, a square-egg-laying bird found on the South Pacific Filbert Islands (discovered by the American explorer Walter E. Traprock during the early twentieth century). The Fatu-Liva's eggs, besides being square, are snow-white and polka-dotted. If threatened, Fatu-Livas are capable of laying these eggs while aloft. The eggs then drop with great force, inflicting serious damage on anything unfortunate enough to be down below. While exploring the Filberts, Traprock succeeded in taking a picture of a Fatu-Liva nest in the wild, containing a collection of the bird's eggs (see thumbnail).

It is highly probable that the Oo-er and Fatu-Liva are related species. In fact, the two may be the same species. Most likely Oo-ers, at some point in the distant past, migrated to the Filbert Islands. Further study is required to confirm this hypothesis.

It should be noted, however, that upon Traprock's return to America, many skeptics publicly doubted the reality of the square-egg-laying Fatu-Liva. (They even claimed that Traprock was the pseudonym of George Shepard Chappell, a reporter for Vanity Fair magazine, and that the Filbert Islands didn't exist either!) In response to these accusations, Traprock commented that, "Skeptics have said that it would be impossible to lay a square egg. To which the author is justly entitled to say: 'The camera never lies.'"

You will find the Pacific Northwest Tree Octopus high in the trees of Washington State's Olympic National Forest. They spend their early lives in the water of Puget Sound, but as they mature they move upwards, adopting an arboreal existence. They use their eight arms to swing from branch to branch, as well as to grab small prey such as insects and frogs. During their mating season they return to the water, but soon after resume their life in the forest.

The tree octopus population is under great pressure from the encroachments of the modern world: logging, roads, pollution, and overhunting by trappers eager to sell the octopuses as ornamental decorations for hats. As a result, the species is close to extinction. The Save the Pacific Northwest Tree Octopus organization has long been attempting to raise awareness of this animal and its plight. They urge concerned citizens to write to their congressional representative about this problem.