The April Fool Archive

April Fool Hoaxes of the Honolulu Star-Bulletin

Throughout the 1930s and 40s, the Honolulu Star-Bulletin maintained a tradition of running a spoof story every April 1st. It only ceased this practice in 1954 on account of a hoax by a local radio station involving the claim that all Hawaiians would receive a large tax refund from the federal government. The hoax threw Honolulu into an uproar, and the paper feared there might be an "adverse reaction" to any further journalistic spoofing. So the paper's planned April Fool story — which had involved "a volcanic eruption on the island of Hawaii and the imaginary destruction of the city of Hilo, in which no one would be killed but all would be instructed as to the potential value of a lava barrier to protect the city" — never ran.

The Star-Bulletin's April Fool stories featured a recurring character named Dr. Thorkel Gellison, who was described as a Norwegian scientist, explorer, story teller, and fellow of the Loof Lirpa Society.

The Honolulu Star-Bulletin ceased publication in June 2010.

Vikings in Hawaii (1936)

The Honolulu Star-Bulletin ran a story about the discovery of an ancient Viking ship in a sandstone quarry near Waimanalo, Oahu. The article was written in a tone of absolute seriousness, discussing details of the ship such as its dimensions and objects found alongside it. The only clue that the article wasn't entirely serious came at the end, when it was revealed that the letters A—R—FJOL—E. had been found inscribed on the stern of the vessel. Lest this was too subtle, the article noted that, "Its equivalent in English is APRIL FOOL." More…

Largest Fish Ever Caught (1939)

The Honolulu Star-Bulletin reported that Norwegian scientist Dr. Thorkel Gellison (an authority on prevaricana) caught the largest fish ever recorded while on holiday in Hawaii. He took the fish, which was of the species Gellisoni Fabricata, "with ordinary Mason & Dixon line, with a leader of Associated Press wire."

The gigantic fish was later exhibited to cheering thousands in a parade through downtown Honolulu, while Dr. Gellison sat atop the fish, waving to his admirers. More…

War Bird Over Waikiki (1940)

The Honolulu Star-Bulletin reported that Norwegian scientist Thorkel Gellison (fellow of the King Haakon Loof Lirpa Society) had invented wings that allowed men to fly. He had recently demonstrated his invention in Hawaii. He had also supplied these wings to the Finnish army, leading the Russians to decide to move for a truce with Finland. More…

Gigantica fibicus (1941)

The Honolulu Star-Bulletin reported that motorists near Waikiki were shocked to see an enormous prehistoric lizard crawl out of a drainage canal and stretch out on a golf club fairway. But famed Norwegian scientist Dr. Thorkel Gellison assured everyone that the creature was harmless. It was a rare species of Gigantica fibicus that had been frozen in ice for 100,000 years before he thawed it out and brought it with him to Hawaii. He explained that it liked to dive into the drainage canal after golf balls, which it thought were the eggs of the extinct Hooey bird. More…

Squid trained to catch fish (1943)

The Honolulu Star-Bulletin reported that Hawaii would no longer face a shortage of fish, thanks to Norwegian scientist Thorkel Gellison who had trained squid to catch fish and bring them back to shore. A single one of Gellison's squids could bring in a dozen fish every 30 minutes, and his school of 100 trained squid could easily supply several tons of fish daily. More…

Hawaiian Flying Saucer (1950)

The Honolulu Star-Bulletin reported that a flying saucer had crashed into the side of the Punchbowl crater on the island of Oahu. The joke unintentionally took in victims thousands of miles away when a local ham radio operator, believing the report to be real, broadcast a description of the flying-saucer. An amateur radioman in Michigan then heard this broadcast and reported it to his local paper, the Herald-Press which, in turn, only realized the report was an April Fool's Day joke after it queried the AP, who queried their office in Hawaii. More…