April Fool's Day Archive, Contents:

As a way to encourage recycling, and to add flavor to its stories, the UK Metro Herald announced plans to issue the newspaper in edible form:

The Huffington Post announced it was introducing a paywall, requiring all employees of the New York Times to purchase a digital subscription in order to view the content on its site. However, anyone who wasn't a New York Times employee would continue to have full and free access. NYT employees would be greeted by the following message when they visited the site:


The Huffington Post added that, "of course, stories that aggregate falsehoods to support an administration's efforts to take the country into a disastrous, decade-long war based on lies will always remain free." Link: Huffington Post.

The London Telegraph revealed a plan to generate electricity by harnessing the power of fish migrating upstream:

The article quoted Gavin Roach, "a world-leading specialist in green technologies based at the Université de Poisson d'Avril in Paris," as saying, "The Environment Agency team has made a very exciting breakthrough. Finetics clearly has the potential to create significant amounts of power by simply harnessing the power of nature."

The Guardian announced it would become "the first newspaper in the world to be published exclusively via Twitter, the sensationally popular social networking service that has transformed online communication," thus rendering its printing presses obsolete. It also revealed an ongoing project to rewrite its entire news archive in the form of "tweets" (Twitter's text messages that are limited to 140 characters each). Examples included:

The Sun revealed that during the World Cup qualifying match against Ukraine, fans would have to stand as the world's longest national anthem played, the six-and-a-half minute version of Oi Ukrainy. Any fans who sat down during the anthem would be ejected from Wembley stadium. The anthem would be sung by the folk star Furstov Aprylova.

Australia's Courier Mail reported that the roll-out of digital radio in Queensland had the unintended side effect of making high-speed internet access freely available through old radio receivers. The paper interviewed the University of Queensland's head of frequency physics Prof Sayd al Lio who said, "the technicians had tapped into something that had eluded researchers for decades." To access the free internet, readers were instructed to place a radio on a surface outdoors in a direct line towards the Mt. Coot-tha radio towers:

The Moscow Times revealed details of the new limousine used to transport President Dmitry Medvedev. It was said to be far more secure than the limousine used to transport U.S. President Obama:
Various news outlets around the world reported the story as fact, including Britain's The Guardian. The German magazine Der Spiegel and three media outlets in South Korea contacted the Moscow Times seeking more details.

The Daily Mail ran a doctored photo of Home Secretary Jacqui Smith walking out of a lingerie store. The headline above it read, "Oh Jacqui, surely that can't be you?" Jacqui Smith had recently been embroiled in a scandal after her husband downloaded two pay-per-view adult films, the cost of which Smith then included as part of an MP expenses claim.

The Daily Express claimed that a British inventor had built an invisible car, designed to fool speed cameras: "“It is beautiful in its simplicity... The plastic film appears completely normal to the human eye. But the flash of the camera reacts with molecules in the film and light is reflected outwards to make the car appear invisible in pictures.” The inventor admitted that the one problem was also covering the wheels and developing an invisible suit to wear.

The Taipei Times reported that pandemonium broke out at the Taipei Zoo when it was discovered that the zoo's two panda bears were in fact "Wenzhou brown forest bears that had been dyed to create the panda’s distinctive black-and-white appearance." Suspicions were first raised when it was observed that the bears were spending almost their full waking hours having sex. (Pandas are notorious for their low libido.) This behavior caused chaos among zoo crowds. "Children screamed and parents became irate." The pandas had been received as a gift from the Chinese government. "Some angrily compared the subterfuge to last year’s contaminated milk scandal, when melamine that had been added to watered-down milk sickened 300,000 victims across China and led to a recall of diary products in countries including Taiwan." Chinese foreign ministry spokesman Qin Gang was said to have issued a statement: "We understand that our compatriots in Taiwan are very upset. We wish to assure them that we have taken steps to address their concerns. We hope that our Taiwanese friends enjoy the gift of two extremely rare Wenzhou brown forest bears."

The zoo later received a number of complaints about the prank, prompting the zoo director to urge the Taipei Times to "correct this improper story." However, the Taipei Times defended the story, stating that, "April Fools' Day jokes highlight an important aspect of the consumption of media: that readers and viewers should keep a critical mind when they read stories or watch TV."

The Japan Times profiled a new social-networking service that would provide people with instant virtual friends. The service, called TomoToday, had been created to complement sites such as Facebook and MySpace. The service claimed to "provide a short cut to a substantial social-media presence."

The virtual friends were recruited from the ranks of unemployed temp workers.

The Daily Mail revealed that Walkers Crisps had designed noise-free crisps, to be marketed as "Ready Silent Cri-sshhp." They would allow people to "eat loud snacks in the cinema without disturbing the person next to you." The crisp was said to have "the same flavour and crunchiness, except it comes already crushed."

The London Times ran a photo of "tartan sheep" said to have been bred by Grant Bell of West Barns, East Lothian. However, the Times warned, "Before you complain of being fleeced, check out the baa-code for today's date."

The Daily Mirror reported that online bookmaker Blue Square, inspired by the popularity of ITV's Dancing On Ice and trying to boost the popularity of greyhound racing, had organized a "Dogs on Ice" event:

Sweden's English-language paper, The Local, reported that in the interests of globalization and technological competitiveness Sweden's government was considering banning "complex letters" such as Å, Ä and Ö. Å would be replaced by AA, Ä by AE and Ö by OE. The Centre Party's Åsa Bäckström was quoted as saying, "Language is constantly changing and we must be prepared to meet the linguistic challenges of the modern world. Communication barriers are a hindrance to competitiveness, so we should do whatever we can - within reason - to eliminate them." However, the move was resisted by many, including the town council of Båstad, whose spokesman said, "We already have enough trouble with English-speakers who think the name of our town is amusing. If the Å becomes a regular A it will just make things worse. We might as well go the whole hog and include an R."