April Fool's Day Archive, Contents:

BMW UK debuted the limited edition "Postnatal Royal Auto Mobile," aka P.R.A.M., inspired by the royal baby due in the summer. The infant carrier featured "air con, reclining seat, ambient interior lighting and paparazzi-proof hood as standard." It was available in either Royal Blue or Princess Pink.

The Moscow Times revealed details of the new limousine used to transport President Dmitry Medvedev. It was said to be far more secure than the limousine used to transport U.S. President Obama:
Various news outlets around the world reported the story as fact, including Britain's The Guardian. The German magazine Der Spiegel and three media outlets in South Korea contacted the Moscow Times seeking more details.

Car and Driver Magazine revealed that the White House had ordered that "GM and Chrysler must cease participation in NASCAR at the end of the 2009 season if they hope to receive any additional financial aid from the government." The White House was said to have released the following statement: "In order to receive this money, corporations must demonstrate they will spend it wisely. Racing has been said to improve on-road technology, but frankly, NASCAR almost flaunts its standing among the lowest-tech forms of motorsport. NASCAR is not proven to drive advancements that transfer from the racetrack to the road, and this nation’s way forward does not hinge on decades-old technology. We need new, and we need innovation.” NASCAR was said to be exploring other options, such as inviting Korea's Hyundai corporation to compete in GM and Chrysler's place.

The Daily Express claimed that a British inventor had built an invisible car, designed to fool speed cameras: "“It is beautiful in its simplicity... The plastic film appears completely normal to the human eye. But the flash of the camera reacts with molecules in the film and light is reflected outwards to make the car appear invisible in pictures.” The inventor admitted that the one problem was also covering the wheels and developing an invisible suit to wear.

BMW unveiled a new feature for its cars: Magnetic Tow Technology.

Drivers were invited to email uve.vollenvorit@bmw.co.uk for further information.

BMW unveiled Canine Repellent Alloy Protection:

Motive magazine ran an article about a new program from Lamborghini allowing owners to pick specific cows with which to outfit their cars' leather interior.

BMW unveiled new technology that allowed drivers to communicate messages via their windscreens:

BMW warned that "Slow Cameras" would soon be installed on British roads to photograph drivers going more than 20 mph below the speed limit, but they had a solution:


BMW's Head of Mandate Avoidance, Hans Uphoo-Gotit, reassured consumers that ZIP technology would have no effect on normal speed cameras.

BMW warned that by the end of 2007 right-hand drive cars would be banned throughout mainland Europe. In response, their engineers had developed "hands-free steering":

"It uses a combination of sensors and VAT (Voice Activated Technology" and does away with the steering wheel altogether. All the dials and controls are mounted in the centre of the dash on a pivoting section which can be angled towards either of the front seats...
Early prototypes were prone to sudden U-turns if the driver swung round to shout at the children in the back, but a satellite monitoring system developed by Dr. Bitt-Fischi, our head of R&D, has eradicated this minor flaw."

BMW ran an ad in the Guardian unveiling its new Satellite Hypersensitive Electromagnetic Foodration (SHEF) Technology, which allowed drivers to cook their dinners from their car as they drove home from work. All the dials for the home oven were built into the dashboard of the car and communicated wirelessly with the actual oven at home. Drivers could monitor the progress of their meal via a built-in oven-cam. The ad directed readers to a website that offered recipes such as "chicken a la M42."

Dunlop Tires announced the introduction of personalized tire treads:

"For hundreds of years people have been monogramming their clothes, and there's certainly no shortage of personalized license plates, so why shouldn't they be able to add a personal touch to their tires too?' said Ian McIntosh, General Manager of Advertising & Marketing Services, Dunlop Tires (Canada)...

Dunlop Ident-a-Treds are the product of more than a decade of top-secret work at the company's remote Canadian research and development facility in Serit Polnud, NWT. Researchers at the Serit Polnud lab created the new, ultra malleable and highly adhesive tires by combining sticky sap from Canadian maple trees with traditional rubber compounds. Dunlop Ident-a-Tred tires are available with initials, symbols, designs or logos engraved onto the tire treads, combining superior traction and handling with unique style."

Car-maker MINI placed ads in several Australian papers describing a new space-saving technology: the Vertical Parking Locator (VPL), which allowed MINIs to park vertically on the side of buildings. Their press release stated:

To demonstrate the technology MINI also placed one of their cars on the side of the Woolworths building in George Street, Sydney.

Esquire introduced its readers to an exciting new company called Freewheelz in an article titled "There Are No Free Wheels." Freewheelz apparently planned to provide drivers with free cars. In exchange, the lucky drivers had to agree both to the placement of large advertisements on the outside of the vehicle and to the streaming of advertisements on the radio inside the car. Prospective drivers also had to submit to a screening process, which required them to submit stool samples and notarized video-store-rental receipts. The article was actually a satire of the much-touted “new economy” spawned by the internet. Attentive readers would have caught on to the joke if they had noticed that Freewheelz’s official rollout on the web was slated to occur on April 1. However, readers who did not notice this barraged the offices of Esquire magazine with phone calls, demanding to know how they could sign up to drive a Stayfresh minivan.

BMW unveiled new "Klimatarbeiter" technology, that could create a range of air conditioning ambiences inside of a car, including "Bavarian Mountain Medley," "New England Fall," "Bessarabian Breeze," or "English Summer." The technology was the brainchild of Dr. Heidi Luftkopf of BMW's Stenchnicht research facility in the Bavarian Mountains.