April Fool's Day Content
April Fool's Day Content
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April Fool's Day Archive, Contents:
|Before 1900:||Origin of April Fool's Day | 1700-1799 | 1800-1899|
|Early 1900s:||1900 | 1901 | 1915 | 1919 | 1920 | 1923 | 1925|
|1930s & 40s:||1933 | 1934 | 1936 | 1937 | 1938 | 1940 | 1949|
|1950s & 60s:||1950 | 1957 | 1959 | 1960 | 1962 | 1965 | 1969|
|1970s:||1970 | 1971 | 1972 | 1973 | 1974 | 1975 | 1976 | 1977 | 1978 | 1979|
|1980s:||1980 | 1981 | 1982 | 1983 | 1984 | 1985 | 1986 | 1987 | 1988 | 1989|
|1990s:||1990 | 1991 | 1992 | 1993 | 1994 | 1995 | 1996 | 1997 | 1998 | 1999|
|2000s:||2000 | 2001 | 2002 | 2003 | 2004 | 2005 | 2006 | 2007 | 2008 | 2009|
|2010s:||2010 | 2011|
Postnatal Royal Auto Mobile (2013)BMW UK debuted the limited edition "Postnatal Royal Auto Mobile," aka P.R.A.M., inspired by the royal baby due in the summer. The infant carrier featured "air con, reclining seat, ambient interior lighting and paparazzi-proof hood as standard." It was available in either Royal Blue or Princess Pink.
Magnetic Tow Technology (2009)BMW unveiled a new feature for its cars: Magnetic Tow Technology.
Drivers were invited to email email@example.com for further information.
The brainchild of Dr. Hans Zoff, head of automotive security, it prevents any dog from relieving itself on the car by administering an immediate, and relatively painfree, electric shock. But the real surprise is that the 220 volts required for this, come courtesy of our brake energy regeneration system. This converts energy created under braking into an electrical charge known as Rim Impulse Power (R.I.P.) and stores it ready for the next encounter.
BMW Instant Messaging (2007)BMW unveiled new technology that allowed drivers to communicate messages via their windscreens:
The system uses Reactive User Sound Electronic (RUSE) particles which are embedded in the windscreen. All the driver has to do is say what's on their mind and the RUSE particles react to their voice to translate their words into an instant message. It enables BMW drivers to communicate advice, warnings, helpful driving tips and salutations to other road users without even lifting a finger.
Slow Camera Avoidance (2006)BMW warned that "Slow Cameras" would soon be installed on British roads to photograph drivers going more than 20 mph below the speed limit, but they had a solution:
After months of experimentation, BMW engineers have devised a solution to avoid detection — ZIP (Zoom Impression Pixels). ZIP is a pixel-based coating that covers the entire exterior of the car. If you are travelling below the speed limit in range of a Slow Camera, sensors around the car detect the camera and the pixels immediately become blurred. This gives the impression of higher velocity and the Slow Camera is fooled into thinking the car is travelling at the correct speed.
BMW's Head of Mandate Avoidance, Hans Uphoo-Gotit, reassured consumers that ZIP technology would have no effect on normal speed cameras.
BMW Uninvents the Wheel (2005)BMW warned that by the end of 2007 right-hand drive cars would be banned throughout mainland Europe. In response, their engineers had developed "hands-free steering":
"It uses a combination of sensors and VAT (Voice Activated Technology" and does away with the steering wheel altogether. All the dials and controls are mounted in the centre of the dash on a pivoting section which can be angled towards either of the front seats...
Early prototypes were prone to sudden U-turns if the driver swung round to shout at the children in the back, but a satellite monitoring system developed by Dr. Bitt-Fischi, our head of R&D, has eradicated this minor flaw."
Cook From Your Car (2004)BMW ran an ad in the Guardian unveiling its new Satellite Hypersensitive Electromagnetic Foodration (SHEF) Technology, which allowed drivers to cook their dinners from their car as they drove home from work. All the dials for the home oven were built into the dashboard of the car and communicated wirelessly with the actual oven at home. Drivers could monitor the progress of their meal via a built-in oven-cam. The ad directed readers to a website that offered recipes such as "chicken a la M42."
Vertical Parking Locator (2003)
Car-maker MINI placed ads in several Australian papers describing a new space-saving technology: the Vertical Parking Locator (VPL), which allowed MINIs to park vertically on the side of buildings. Their press release stated:
The world-first VPL allows MINI Coopers to be parked vertically against walls, thus saving substantial parking space. ASC+T-backed VPL gives MINIs sufficient traction to attain and maintain an erect parking position and to cling securely to the side of the designated building. All-but seamless in operation, VPL makes its presence felt via a subtle frisson of vibration as the traction system is activated. A warning jingle recorded by a string quartet in the key of G also sounds.
To demonstrate the technology MINI also placed one of their cars on the side of the Woolworths building in George Street, Sydney.
BMW’s Klimatarbeiter (1999)BMW unveiled new "Klimatarbeiter" technology, that could create a range of air conditioning ambiences inside of a car, including "Bavarian Mountain Medley," "New England Fall," "Bessarabian Breeze," or "English Summer." The technology was the brainchild of Dr. Heidi Luftkopf of BMW's Stenchnicht research facility in the Bavarian Mountains.
BMW WAIL (1997)BMW announced a new feature for its cars — WAIL, which stood for "Wildlife Acoustic Information Link." It was a device designed to prevent animals from becoming roadkill by emitting high-pitched soundwaves (inaudible to human ears, but audible to animals) that sent critters scurrying out of the way:
"This operates on the same ultrasonic echo-sounding principle as BMW's Park Distance Control System. Sonic waves are emitted from the front bumper producing a warning call which alerts stray animals to the approaching car. This then encourages them to jump in the nearest hedgerow."
BMW announced that it would be adding a new feature to its entire line of cars: an Insect Deflector Screen (or IDS for short), designed to keep windscreens bug free. The IDS, developed by Munich scientist Dr. Jurgen Afalfurit, consisted of a clear rubber coating applied to the windscreen. The coating itself was invisible to the eye, but it caused bugs to literally bounce off the window, "even at high speeds."
Drivers were invited to find out more about the IDS by filling out a coupon and checking one of the following options: "I find flies get stuck to my windscreen -- Hardly ever; Sometimes; Far too Often."
BMW Optiglass (1995)BMW announced that certain models of their cars would be fitted with "Optiglass" — a new optical technology that eliminated the need for drivers to wear glasses:
By varying the temperature of the PVB with a simple flick of the dashboard-mounted switch, the refractive index of the glass changes, creating a lens to suit the requirements of all drivers."
Anti-Track Control (1992)A commercial for BMW aired on British TV promoting a revolutionary new technology, "anti-track control," that enabled the removal of tire tracks from the ground. The ad explained that the technology had been developed by East German military authorities, but it could now be used by surreptitious lovers seeking to conceal their tracks from suspicious partners. The spoof commercial was created for BMW by ad agency WCRS. The footage of disappearing tire tracks was created by taking a previous BMW commercial and playing it backwards.
Road Warmers (1989)BMW Canada ran an ad in the Globe and Mail announcing a new addition to its luxury cars: road warmers. Pivoting convex lasers mounted in front of each wheel would melt ice and snow on the road as the car was being driven. Turbo fans would then remove excess moisture from the road. According to BMW's press release, this invention would "virtually eliminate the need to clear your driveway during winter." The advertisement assured readers that road warmers would eventually become standard on all new BMWs, but until then dealers would install them on older models free of charge.
Driver’s Weight Sensors (1989)BMW unveiled a "significant advance in anti-theft technology" — Driver's Weight Sensors:
"DWS stands for Driver's Weight Sensor. A unique system that compares the driver's weight with a pre-programmed value stored in the sensor's computer memory...
The sensor weight reading is then compared to the programmed weight in the memory, and provided this falls to within ±5%, the car will start normally.
If, however, the figure exceeds these tolerances, then a discreet gong sounds, and the entire ignition system is shut down."<
Interested readers were urged to contact Hugh Phelfrett at BMW.