April Fool's Day Archive, Contents:

Virgin Airlines announced that it would be adding glass-bottomed planes to its fleet, in order to ensure that "passengers can enjoy both an unparalleled flying experience, as well as a selection of stunning landscapes from the comfort of their seats."

The company promised that every passenger would enjoy "the chance of a bird's eye view with an extra special opportunity to look down on the beautiful scenery of Great Britain as they fly."

Virgin Active, Sir Richard Branson's health club chain, announced it would be opening an animal-only gym later in the year, Animal Active. It would be "a haven for animals in need of exercise or lifestyle management."

Virgin Mobile announced that it would be offering a left-handed Sony Ericsson LH-Z200 mobile phone: "Designed with a reversed keypad layout, the buttons are switched from right to left instead of standard left to right… This simple but clever design makes dialling, texting and menu navigation quicker and easier for anyone left-handed." A number of technology sites fell for the joke.

Virgin Atlantic announced plans to begin advertising via genetically modified butterflies:

Virgin Cola announced that in the interest of consumer safety it had integrated a new technology into its cans. When the cola passed its sell-by date, the liquid would react with the metal in the can, turning the can bright blue. Virgin warned that consumers should therefore avoid purchasing all blue cans. Coincidentally, Pepsi had recently unveiled its newly designed cans which were bright blue.

Virgin Atlantic ran an advertisement explaining that "a recent tracking study by the Institute of Aeronautical and Atmospheric Studies reveals that the waste gases from champage (CO₂ + NO₁) can have a detrimental effect on the upper atmosphere and contribute towards the depletion of the ozone layer."

For which reason it had commissioned a special "still champagne" to serve on its flights. It promised that the taste was "distinctively dry with a hint of flint."

On March 31, British policemen were sent to investigate a glowing flying saucer that had settled down in a field in Surrey. As the policemen approached the craft with their truncheons held out, a door opened in the bottom of the ship and a small figure wearing a silver space suit walked out. The policemen immediately took off in the opposite direction. The alien turned out to be a midget, and the flying saucer was a hot air balloon that had been specially built to look like a UFO by Richard Branson, the 36-year-old chairman of Virgin Records.

Branson had taken off in the balloon the day before, planning to land in London's Hyde Park on April 1. However, a wind change had blown him down a day early in the Surrey field. The police had received a flood of phonecalls from scared motorists using roadside emergency phones as the balloon passed over the highway. One lady reportedly called a radio station to describe the UFO that she was looking at, not realizing that she was standing in front of her window stark naked. One of the policemen who had to approach the craft later admitted, "I have never been so scared in 20 years of being a policeman."