April Fool's Day Archive, Contents:

The Yale Literary Magazine announced that pugilist Cassius Clay, aka the "Louisville Lip" (later known as Muhammad Ali), had been awarded the Ephraim Barnard Gates Award, given to the person "who has done the most to revitalize poetry during the last year."

The award committee cited "his mockery of the loose trochee, culminating in shocking spondees in the penultimate lines, and the final heavy line in irregular iambics" which produced "stanzas almost perfectly orchestrated."

The Literary Magazine explained that the Ephraim Barnard Gates Award was a little-known prize, presentation of which had been discontinued after the Civil War but which had been revived in honor of Clay.

VIEW magazine revealed the existence of the Yenom Tree, a "rare perennial" owned by Mrs. Loo Flirpa of Appleton, Wisconsin. This tree, "intensively bred to resemble the Pelf Pines and Gelt Gardenias of an earlier day," sprouted "bright, green American one-dollar bills with uniformly high serial numbers."

In an unusual mutation, this year the Yenom Tree had also sprouted a "flawless five-dollar bill."

It was further revealed that Mrs. Flirpa had entered into "an exclusive arrangement with the U.S. Mint to sell Yenom tree seedlings through a system of greenhouses to be operated through local offices of the Federal Reserve System."

The Titusville Herald ran a headline across the top of its sports page declaring that the Pittsburgh Pirates Major League Baseball team was moving to the small town of Titusville, Pennsylvania (population 5000). The team reportedly was making the move because it was "tired of battling the city fathers for a new stadium on Pittsburgh's North Side."

Pirates team members were said to be happy with the move, although reliefer Roy Face asked, "Where's Titusville?"

The April Fool's Day announcement caused the first sellout of the Titusville Herald in many years, as people bought copies for their scrapbooks.

"Boss Wally Gerdes must have thought it was Mothers Day when 14 of his employees in the installation department at Western Electric Co.'s Montebellow, Calif., plant showed up Monday in maternity smocks well filled out. But it was just the girls' pregnant (pillows) idea of an April Fool's Day joke. Five of them aren't married."

The Long Beach Independent reported that the New York Yankees had traded center fielder Mickey Mantle to the Los Angeles Angels. In return for Mantle, the Yankees received "$1 million dollars, half interest in radio station KMPC and a player package of Ned Garver, Del Rice, Aubrey Gatewood and Gene Leek."

1961 was the first year of the LA Angels existence. So it would have been extremely unlikely for them to have acquired a player as prominent as Mantle in any trade.

An attempted robbery was reported in El Rio, California. A burglar spent hours using an acetylene torch to try to cut open a safe in the Leonard Anderson Well Drilling Co. office. When he failed at this, he tried to guess the combination. Finally, he gave up and left. Fred Rush, manager of the company, commented, "He just wouldn't believe the sign. We put it there because we don't know the combination. Now the joke's on us. When the yeggman tried to work the combination he set the lock and now we can't open the safe ourselves."

The sign on the safe (which the burglar ignored) read, "This safe is not locked." It wasn't. [Los Angeles Times - Apr 2, 1960.]

George Morris of Safford, Arizona woke to find a full-grown elephant eating lilies in his backyard. He assumed it had to be some kind of elaborate April Fool’s Day joke. It wasn’t. But when he called the police to report the animal to them, they initially refused to believe he was telling the truth. Finally they sent over some officers. It turned out that “Dumbo” had been accidentally left behind by a circus that had pulled up stakes the night before. The circus was notified and a van was sent to pick up Dumbo. [The Ada Evening News, Apr 3, 1960.]

The New York Telephone Company announced it had prepared for April Fools Day, as it had done so for the past thirty years, by assigning special operators to intercept all calls to the Bronx Zoo. Only legitimate calls would be allowed through. When the day came, it intercepted 2561 calls to the zoo from people seeking to speak with Mr. Lion, Mr. Fox, Mr. Wolf, Mr. Beaver, etc. This was only half the number of calls made the previous year. [Chicago Daily Tribune, Apr 2, 1960.]

The Pennsylvania Bedford Express ran a photograph on its front page of an atomic submarine floating in the Raystown River. The paper was subsequently flooded with calls from its readers: "Was there really a sub in the river? Where is it now? Has it left yet?" The image had been created by a Gazette photographer who superimposed a picture of the sub onto a picture of the river. The Raystown River is only three feet deep in the Bedford area. [Syracuse Herald-Journal, Apr 2, 1960.]

"School children, more than anyone else, live for the chance to 'get back at the teacher.' Most teachers went to school this morning alert for tacks on chairs, glue on desks and gently placed placards ordering to 'kick me' invitation.

Probably a few instructors in the city schools forgot to check the calendar this morning and fell victim to at least one of the pranks of the class. The only consolation the teacher has it that for once, she did what the class wanted her to do."
-Allen Sackmann, [Lethbridge Herald - Apr 1, 1960]

Bill Taylor of Oklahoma City celebrated his birthday every year on April 1st. As a consequence, he noted, he always received an "off brand gift." On April 1, 1960 he turned 40. He woke to find a large box on his front porch. Inside was a 40-pound pig wrapped in a pink ribbon and bow. He announced, "I'll just have that porker barbecued." [Newark Advocate - Apr 2, 1960.]

Residents of St. Joseph, Missouri who received a notice on April 1st informing them they had been selected for jury duty thought the notices were a joke and none of them showed up. Deputy sheriffs had to make a special trip to their homes to inform them that the summons were real. The Sheriff's Department later made a special plea to the circuit judges: "Please don't draw a panel of jurors on April Fool's Day again." [The Chillicothe Constitution-Tribune, Apr 3, 1959.]

The Light of San Antonio, Texas reported that a huge army missile had accidentally escaped from Kelly Air Force Base during testing, "screamed over San Antonio," and crashed into a water tank near Trinity University. An accompanying picture showed the missile embedded in the ground as water from the tank poured over it. An Airforce Colonel was quoted as saying, "We're spending a great deal of money and much of this nation's international diplomacy is based on the armed strength this and other units like it achieve. So I hope you'll understand why I have no more time for this damned April Fool gag."