#18: “Would You Go To Bed With Me Tonight?”
If you were a man walking across the campus of Florida State University in 1978, an attractive young woman might have approached you and said these exact words: "I have been noticing you around campus. I find you to be attractive. Would you go to bed with me tonight?"
Listed in chronological order. Newest comments at the end.
If you were that man, you probably would have thought that you had just gotten incredibly lucky. But not really. You were actually an unwitting subject in an experiment designed by the psychologist Russell Clark.
Clark had persuaded the students of his social psychology class to help him find out which gender, in a real-life situation, would be more receptive to a sexual offer from a stranger. The only way to find out, he figured, was to actually get out there and see what would happen. So young men and women from his class fanned out across campus and began propositioning strangers.
The results weren't very surprising. Seventy-five percent of guys were happy to oblige an attractive female stranger (and those who said no typically offered an excuse such as, "I'm married"). But not a single woman accepted the identical offer of an attractive male. In fact, most of them demanded the guy leave her alone.
At first the psychological community dismissed Clark's experiment as a trivial stunt, but gradually his experiment gained first acceptance, and then praise for how dramatically it revealed the differing sexual attitudes of men and women. Today it's considered a classic. But why men and women display such different attitudes remains as hotly debated as ever.
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I like how all the ideas are uniquely american. The woman has all the power over sex, you dont see that as much in Europe, its almost a level playing field. Growing up in Germany i noticed it was almost always the woman who initiated contact with someone of the opposite sex at a rate that would be comparable to an American male.
Posted by Riley on Sat Sep 15, 2007 at 04:55 AM
males evolved from extremely fast moving cells that multiply in mass quantities and often (sperm) and women evolved from things that are only created a set amount of times in their life time and take a lot of energy to create (eggs) so men are naturally less selective, more 'hit everything' - women are more selective, aka picky (long term commitment is huge as well, read more evolution stuff)
Posted by alex in um on Sat Sep 15, 2007 at 08:54 AM
A man can have three women a week, and everyone will hugh five him. A women has one man a week a week and she's a slut. In the dating world men and women aren't anywhere near equal, this was all a matter of not wanting to have the whole collage think you're a whore.
Posted by marie in canada on Sat Sep 15, 2007 at 11:20 AM
lol kind of bull, if any girl would ask me to have sex with her I won't even if I were single.
Pride stands above lust for me, I am currently still a virgin at the age of 19 and I have had 5 girlfriends before my current one and haven't had sex with them except for a bit of toying here and there.
If it was my girlfriend however I'd say yes, the first girl I actually love
Posted by David in Amsterdam on Sat Sep 15, 2007 at 03:35 PM
The majority of men are only able to think with the head of their penis, that's all.
There are several honorable exceptions, but they only exist to prove what I've just said: most men only think about sex, all the time, 24 hours per day:
Posted by Marjorie in South America on Sun Sep 16, 2007 at 02:34 PM
"Pride stands above lust for me, I am currently still a virgin at the age of 19 and I have had 5 girlfriends before my current one"
I wonder if those two things are related. . .
Posted by Bob on Mon Sep 17, 2007 at 05:27 PM
I was the one who made the moves with ALL the girls, I was the one starting the teasing and after a bit work with my fingers.
If I followed my lust I would've had sexual intercourse already, it's not something which was impossible, especially with one girl that would practically do anything with me.
Playing is nice IF you have a relation with the other person.
Sexual Intercourse is something I would do with somebody I actually love even after a very long time.
If anybody asks me to have sex with her I would reject because first of all it could be a trap of some kind and second because it goes against my "honour code".
Posted by David in Amsterdam on Mon Sep 17, 2007 at 06:03 PM
Nobody mentioned that this experiment took place after serial-killer Ted Bundy killed those girls at Florida State. I doubt this was a time when women thought it would be a good idea to take up with a attractive stranger.
Posted by Angela in DC on Mon Sep 17, 2007 at 10:46 PM
If someone walked up to me on campus that I didnt know or recognize and asked me to shag them, my first concern would be for my physical safety!!
What kind of weirdo propositions someone like that???
1. someone with some serious social problems
2. someone with some REALLY serious social problems.
Otherwise, they would be attempting to get laid in a manner a little less alarming to the recipient of the come-on
Posted by Jennine in Vancouver, BC, Canada on Tue Sep 18, 2007 at 02:29 AM
Jesus. No, men did not evolve from sperm. That's not how it works at all. If you don't understand biology, just admit you don't understand it. There's no call to go around making up scientific facts to justify whatever you were gonna believe anyway.
Posted by Greg on Mon Sep 24, 2007 at 01:38 AM
I have to completely agree with Jennine... if some random guy walked up to me asking to have sex, I'd get away from him ASAP! First of all, I don't know where that's been or WHO that's been IN... And second, I don't feel like having the possibility of getting raped/murdered put up like Russian roulette... I'm sure that's what was going through the heads of most of those girls... Not, "Oh my god, everyone will think I'm a slut..." I know that would be the LEAST of my worries at that moment.
Posted by Josie in Oregon on Fri Sep 28, 2007 at 07:03 PM
The experiment should be repeated with a financial incentive: $100, $1000, and $10,000. And repeated again with full sex, some sexual activity, and just nudity. Then we would get a better roadmap into how best to interact with the opposite sex.
Posted by Phil on Wed Nov 14, 2007 at 09:34 AM
John is exactly right. Men and women are innately different. They are anatomically different, physiologically different, play different roles in the creation and nurturing of the young -- and thus behaviorily different.
But to radical feminists of the 60s this idea was very disturbing. It couldn't be. How could it be, they argued. Men and women had to be identical except for small anatomical differences, and the only other differences would be those from social conditioning. So they devised all kinds of social experiments to prove they were right - like having little boys surrounded with barbie dolls and little girls with GI joes. But of course they failed each time. For example, given a free choice the boys naturally gravitated toward the Joes and the girls toward barbies. Finally in 1995 Time Magazine came up with a cover story 'Men and Women are Different'. Imagine that.
Posted by Tim in Arizona, USA on Mon Nov 19, 2007 at 07:59 PM
> Lisa :I've seen women accept advances of this kind from men they don't know - in bars.
Bars are a controlled environment where women (and men) go with the understanding there would be solicitations for sex. Even if the woman agrees after making a selection, it happens under HER terms.
Posted by Tim in Arizona, USA on Mon Nov 19, 2007 at 08:03 PM
"that was almost 30 years ago.
now would be 100% man would said yes and 50% for woman."
I think you might be inflating those results a bit, buddy. Sheesh.
Posted by anonymous on Wed Dec 12, 2007 at 06:32 PM
O_o Sexism works both ways, you know - to say that men think about sex "all the time, 24 hours a day" is pretty insulting.
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Posted by mail in cary on Thu Jan 31, 2008 at 05:17 AM
Isn't it obvious?
If a strange man approaches you and starts babbling about sleeping together your first thought is of ending up being dragged under an overpass and killed if you give him another minute of your attention. Men have no such fears toward their physical safety, at least not from strange random women.
Also, men typically are not used to women propositioning them as they're culturally saddled with the responsibility to "make the first move". So why wouldn't they bypass that anxiety given the chance?
Dumb little experiment with totally foregone conclusions.
And anyone trying to draw evolutionary evidence of anything from an experiment done by inexperienced college students in the 70's is an ignoramus.
Posted by G. Fauna in Penn., U.S. on Mon Feb 04, 2008 at 09:12 PM
I found this to be a really interesting subject. I must admit on my swingers and personals website there is far more male ads than females.
Posted by Delboy in UK on Wed Feb 06, 2008 at 10:54 PM
There will be no unwanted babies. Men are strong enough to talk about this. And, women need help getting there to the topic. So, if you are going to keep doing it after you like it then talk about content of relationship. Do you want to see someone else? Or, are both of us happy? MEN NEED TO USE BOTH BRAINS< SORRY< BUT?
Posted by Carey Fox in Dayton on Wed Feb 27, 2008 at 08:17 PM
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